Struggles of the "unexplanatory"
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Ongoing<5 mins
Last published Mon, Nov 30, 2015
God, God made the world a machine; and we are all parts of the machine and if we stop working, the machine stops working. Now, this is probably so accurate and easy to believe, that is, if you believe in God.
2 years ago you could have checked my bio and it would have said; I love God.
Now I don't know. Because if God existed, people wouldn't be starving, children wouldn't be raped, suicide wouldn't be a thing, and EVERY single person would be living somewhere, KNOWING that they are loved.
But that's faith... you either believe it or you don't.
I used to believe, for 12 long years, but now... I DON'T.
No one cares. You look people in the eyes and they ask you what's wrong. You tell them everything, letting it out, but they always give you the pitiful "don't worry." Now? When people ask me if I'm okay; i say, I'm fine. Because they don't understand my struggles, the don't understand the cuts on my hip or the fact that I wake up everyday, fearing the thought of life itself. The thought of breathing, breathing, breathing.
I open my eyes and see children running, happy, laughing, why can't I be that happy? Why is it that I haven't smiled in days.
They tell you it's faith, fate. So that's my fate, waiting for the day when I will be good enough...
Emerald is 13 years old and easily forgotten, forever told that she's too young to be sad. Her journey seems as though it's coming to an end but MAYBE it's only just started?
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chapter1
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