Honest Confessions of Letting Go

Honest Confessions of Letting Go

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WpMetadataNoticeHuling na-publish Mon, May 30, 2016
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Fiction
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I'm not sure how I feel about you. Still, uncertainty fills my heart and seeps through the cracks that you had been holding shut. The holes you had been pressing your fingers to have now been abandoned, everything I was seems to be slipping out. I'm on the borderline of desolation. Alone like the desert on its hottest day. the middle of the ocean with no way to swim to shore. You said I was beautiful. You said I was loved by everyone that I meet. You said you loved me. But you never aid I was enough. Enough for you to realize that you wanted to be with me. Beautiful enough for you to get lost in my eyes for so long that you never had the time to find someone else. So you found someone else. And I want to move on. And I want so hard to hate you. I never wanted someone to feel so hurt or feel so happy at the same time. And my eyes sometimes linger to the three pictures of you that I didn't have the strength to delete. When I try look away sometimes I think im just not trying hard enough.
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I don't know what to feel towards him. My brain -my heart- gives me mixed feelings about him: every time our eyes lock, I feel warm inside. Every time we talk, I feel myself drown into feelings; nervousness, shyness. I'm not sure. And every time he casually walk into my mind, my stomach squeezes lightly with butterflies which I cannot justify. Yet, he makes me cry myself to sleep, he makes me overthink myself to sleep. Not that he said or did anything, it's the confusion that makes me ache. Sometimes even the butterflies and sparks hurt me, the thought of him tightens my chest with ache, as confusion crawls my skin. We're friends, but he shows mixed signals that confuses me. That's just one side of the story. The other side is suffering too, he's been in love with Evelyn ever since he laid eyes on her, but she just saw Zachary as a friend. And it gnaws at him that she never notices his eyes. But not fate, neither destiny will bring them together. Coincidence does...

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