All The Things I Wish I Had Said

Dear whoever reads,

Sorry it’s been so long. I haven’t been doing well. Harry went on a trip with his family so I’ve pretty much just been alone all winter break. My mom is still with her new husband. She hasn’t called in a while but I would feel rude if I called her. She’s probably fine.

The girls are at their friends’ house a lot but that’s ok, it’s winter break, I should let them have their fun. I’ve just been at home alone so far, the first day was easiest but now things are just getting hard for me. I don’t have much to do without Harry around, he’s really my only friend. I was going to ask him to stay but that would be selfish of me.

He still doesn’t know about my depression. He doesn’t even know I go to see a therapist every week. I usually just tell him that I need to shop or just go on a walk. He always asks to come with, but I just tell him I need some alone time. I’ve been lying too much lately. I feel quite bad.

I’ve been crying a lot. I don’t know why, but I told my therapist I was fine. He doesn’t know that I’ve been crying. I feel a bit guilty now because lying is wrong, especially to my therapist because all he wants to do is help, but I don’t want him to put me on pills again. I don’t like taking pills.