The Trouble with Fortune Cookies
- Reads 126
- Votes 10
- Parts 6
MatureOngoing21m
Last published Sun, Sep 6, 2015
The trouble with fortune cookies are that they are never sweet enough, nor thick enough and sometimes, blinded by the lust for pastry one might forget the paper inside and consume everything in a fit of munching rage. It has happened to the best of us, including myself, gratefully I have not died from the significant amount of paper I have ingested every Friday after a meal at the Wao-Tau Chinese all you can eat buffet but I'm still getting regular check-ups to make sure.
The trouble with fortune cookies are that the messages inside are super cliché and oh so very tumblr. If I wanted someone to tell me when I would find true love, I would ask my poster child for insane of a bestfriend, Claire, to set me up with one out of her unique ensemble of celebrity heart throbs. Therefore, maybe it was a god, or the fact that the paper made the cookie way blander than it needed to be, but I decided that on some random Friday, in this damn random month, I would randomly open this random ass cookie. Only to find in crappy scribbles a 13 digit phone number entitled "trouble ;)", and henceforth, i've been dragged into the worst situation that i have ever come upon in all my 17 years of living. Like seriously, even worse than the time my parents caught me smoking pot in the bathroom.
All Rights Reserved
Join the largest storytelling communityGet personalized story recommendations, save your favourites to your library, and comment and vote to grow your community.
You may also like
Contract Marriage: I've always loved you ✅
He fell in love with the girl he had a one-night stand with. When her true nature revealed, he hated himself for loving her and decided never to see her again. However, his fate took an unexpected turn and entangled him in a contract marriage with her, turning the girl he despised into his temporary wife. Will their love-hate relationship lead to a deeper connection, or will it keep them forever bound by the terms of their contract? *** As I spank her, Grace questions in a surprised tone, "What was that?" "That was for leaving your husband alone in the pool," I respond in a teasing tone, seizing her waist and pulling her towards me, stealing her breath. "But, my dear husband, you're pissing me off. Just move away." She tries to break free from my grasp. "Stop moving, Mrs Grey!" "No, I won't listen to you, Mr Grey. You told me you don't want me, so why are you here again?" "I didn't say that I don't want you," I whisper, closing the distance between us, my lips nearing my angry wife's. "It means the same!" She rolls her eyes. "I want you so damn much, okay? And I'm ready to regret it again and again for doing this. Today, I'll show you how much I desire you, my wife." I confess, my fingers playing with her wet hair, and my hand still firmly gripping her waist. "So tell me. Who is stopping you, husband?"Complete
Immortal Among Mortals: The Rebirth Jade Lake Fairy
she was in her first life a pampered princess , spoiled,white tea and bitchy girl , she just thought that acting pitifully would give her the whole world . But she was wrong getting infatuated with a man who with his companions disdained her ,they were interested in Yu Luo. She lose her cultivation,her position in the family and died pitifully learning she was an orphan . She reached modern earth world , in the body of an orphan girl promising to be strong ,she became a doctor to save lives and also as a spy to save people , she went on board abroad for an operation for a child, unfortunately there was a terrorist group who attacked ,she thought of the end ,but she came back to her previous world , to her shocking surprise she got a space inside that space a woman who is a dragon who has a multi attribute cultivator who want to make her inherit from her, the same space has been collecting over stuff from two worlds ,ten powerful contracted beast ,a control over all elements even those forgotten in the sea of history plus a master of meta psychic ,having the Ancestor like a second father,atonishing background. Fuck off love ,all what she wants now is to protect her loved ones and herself,live well and a fulfilling, give life to a super kingdom where all can achieve their dreams and goals . She in all cases isn't interested in love but suddenly it was as if the world became crazy and strange as she tried to stay away,her big brother became more protective ,his friends wanted to pamper her,then the greatest apothecary of the moment asked her to call him Uncle and then the guy who was her Master in her past life who never really cared about her and used her as a stepping stone for the path of his foster girl suddenly became obsessed with her, pursued and hunted her even to the point of threatening to cage her if she runs away. But our heroine is feisty,tough,bold and mighty she'll resists his antics. So he who loves to take and doesn't asks for her. He w
The Bridal Agreement
COMPLETED ✔️(Editing Soon) "Marry me." I nearly spill my latte on the nicest dress I own. "Are you out of your mind?! We just met... plus I don't even like your face!" "It doesn't have to be real." I set my latte down and look at him. "No woman wants a fake marriage Mr. Mardell. Be less of a dumbass and find yourself a nice girl who'll kiss your ass even when you're ghosts." "Look, don't flatter yourself" he goes leaning back in his seat. "You just happen to fit the description I gave the press and my family. And I don't like your face either." I copy his move and lean back against my seat. "I'd rather slam my tongue in a car door, sir." The words hit him. "Good day... and good luck finding a brainless girl to marry you." I grab my purse and head towards the door. "$20,000 a week" he blurts out. I halt and whirl around. "What?" "I'll give you $20,000 every week for a month..." He walks out from behind his desk. "... if you agree to do this with me." $20,000 every week for an 'I do'? Which happens to be fake too? $80,000 in a month to play dress up for one of the youngest and richest CEO's in the world? "So what do you say?" His silky voice swims through my thoughts. "You wanna get hitched for some money? You know your family needs it." He just had to play the poor family card. "So do we have a deal? Or I should go on and keep making you lose your jobs before you even start?" He had a smirk on his face. God, I hate him! But that money could help us a whole lot. I glare at him and extend a hand towards him. "Deal." ✄--------------------------------------------------------- No one ever realizes the implications of messing around with the famous 'Always and Forever' promise until they're cornered with no escape... except the one through their own hell. Join Noelle and Keith as they embark on this intriguing adventure to find themselves and escape the threats. #1 in deceit - 17/06/2023 #1 in graduate -14/02/2023 ~AkoComplete![𝐈𝐃𝐄𝐀𝐋 𝐌𝐀𝐓𝐂𝐇 [ PERFECT FIT ]](https://img.wattpad.com/cover/362006161-256-k773505.jpg)
𝐈𝐃𝐄𝐀𝐋 𝐌𝐀𝐓𝐂𝐇 [ PERFECT FIT ]
She flinched and stepped back when a bunch of notes was thrown at her. Shock was evident on her face as she took a step back. His voice rang out clearly, "Take this money and tell them you don't want to marry me." Without wasting a second. At that moment, their eyes met. "Tum..." They both pointed at each other shocked When Her " I never obey/listen to others" met Him " I hate when someone don't obey me " She is cold as ice while his anger is as fire. But will the ice melt with his warmth of his fire? Tropes : Singer(billionaire )x Writer Contract marriage/Arrange Ice& Fire couple He fell first and he fell harder too _______________________________ She blocked him but then they ends up meeting each other in real life though didn't even knew each other. And then destiny's plan perfectly matched Tropes : Online friends He fell first and she fell harder Businessman(billionaire) x proffesor ______________________________________ The dark romance couples She met him while she joined his business after some struggles and he is the CEO. They were tution mates and academic rivals where she always used to rank. So now she is little frustrated knowing it well he will take advantage of that and yessss, he really does !!!! Tropes : Ceo x Employee He fell first and both fell harder Past acquaintance Enemies (hate to love) Academics rival in past ______________________________________ She fell in love with her bhabes elder brother at first sight but later got to know from her brother(cousin) that he was already in a relationship And he is not interested in her. So how will she be able to make him develop feelings for her ??? Tropes : Computer proggamer x social media Influencer (billionaire) She fell first and he fell harder Lets see how all the couples go from not interested in them to perfect fit for each other. Even though they didn't realised it before that they were already the IDEAL MATCH ***** Multiple couple romance. Mysteries. Soft & dark romance![Jade Locust Among Gold Silk [OC Insert x LMK]](https://img.wattpad.com/cover/343616624-256-k139339.jpg)
Jade Locust Among Gold Silk [OC Insert x LMK]
{Since I, the creator am extremely burnt out and out of ideas, take an LMK self-insert} [NONE OF THESE PICTURES ARE MINE UNLESS I CALIM THEM. That includes the cover] ------- "Sen it's time to go!" "Coming!" I responded closing the LMK edit I was enjoying, Summer break finally was here and I was too excited to see my little sister! Finally everything was coming together! _____ My lungs ache and clench desperately as I fail to open my eyes, soaked in blood and debris I can feel everything I ever hoped for leaving me... Nora...I'm so...so- _____ "..." I exhale somberly as I flex my fingers to their best of limits, till the thick gauze and bandages force me to relax... How come I remember everything that happened? That doesn't really happen in resurrection right? Aren't I supposed to forget my past life? Well, I do still have my phone...and I look almost identical to before... Did I even die? Or did something else happen in those few seconds? _____ A seemingly normal yet depressed teen, only 19 and a half... Summer break should've been the beginning of blessing after blessing... But this was a nightmare...one that she somehow coped with...and continues to. _____ 'I don't have time to cry anymore-! Their gone! I'm dead! I'm just a dead memory to them now! It's not like mom will miss me!' _____ "Look kid, the more you grumble about how bad life was to you, maybe you should- "Should what? Let loose? Have fun? Be an impulsive jerk-!?" It was obvious my snap back caught the legend off guard, but...I didn't care... I don't care... _____ "Look MK...There's nothing you can do to help me, your a hero......not a god." _____ 'OH GOD HE'S HOT-!!' _____ One summer, one train wreck, a few bad discussions, and a lot of kettle chips. The Jade Locust will continue the fester and devour your soul... I will make sure of that. _____ Hehe, Writers block go BRRRRRR [Started: June 9, 2023] [Ended:June 26, 2023] Note: I've now made Sen 19 years old.Complete
His Waitress
"Jess, would you please get his order." Lisa winked at me and pointed the guy near the door. She is my one and only bestfriend since kindergarten. "Okay." I wore my waitress apron and put my phone and car keys on the pocket. I dragged myself to the guy's table to get his order. "Good Morning, Sir. Can I take your order?" The guy put the menu down on the table and he's checking me out! Jerk. "I'll just have the waitress in front me. Name your price." He winked at me. "Jerk!" I got the glass of water from the other table and poured it from his head to his pants so that it looked like that he'd pee on it and I stormed out from the restaurant. Who does he think he is?!? --------------------------------------------------- Jessica is the only child of the highest tax payers in the country and belong to the top 5 richest persons in the world. Her parents own a hundred of five star restaurant chains and hotel & casinos in the country and a hundred more around the world. Her parents love and protect her so much because they don't want publicity for their daughter. They want their daughter to have her private life. Jessica doesn't want other people to know that she's the daughter of the richest couple in the country but of course almost everyone knows about it. She wants to have a simple life. One thing about Jessica is that, she hates guys because she was 'only' cheated and used by four guys already. They used her money and these four guys, she'll see them again at school and that bothers her so much. She don't feel love or hurt from guys anymore. Her heart is numb. It feels nothing. For guys. These four guys made Jessica a cold and heartless person. Heartless only for guys but she's really a sweet girl once you get to know her. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Can a playboy jerk turns a cold and heartless girl, who hates guys back to her sweet old self?Complete
Miss. Fragile And Mr. Powerful
#1 in hatelove - 12/08/2022 #1 in business - 25/02/2023 #1 in forcedmarriage - 20/07/2022 #1 in businessman -18/07/2022 #1 in arrogant - 23/07/2022 #1 in contract - 23/07/2022 #1 in rude - 12/08/2022 #1 in generalfiction - 09/03/2023 #1 in deal - 15/05/2024 "This is your check for the first month of five hundred thousand dollars ." She jerked her face to the side as soon as the envelope hit her cheeks. "Wh....wh.... what's this? " She asked stuttering. "This my dear wife, is your payment in advance for being Mrs. Adams. I know that you are a burden on everyone and I am ready to do a charity of giving $500,000 to you every month till the time you are here. I know you don't deserve this , but I had given it in my clause that as you don't work and solely rely on the money of your parents, I will give you $500,000 every month , so that you can spend that on yourself and not try to rob or steal from my mansion." I said I grabbed her chin in my hand and said, "Get this thing , after this night if you dare to break any of the clause from the agreement or try to raise your hand or even point a finger at me, I wouldn't mind cutting off your hand and ruining you completely." Don't let it break you. No matter how hard it gets, Life goes on. This line works exact right to both of their life. Both having their own demons to fight with find it difficult to tackle each other. Join these two souls in their journey of separation or union.Complete
The Bakery Love
"Are you sure that I don't make you nervous when I get closer to you?" he teased me. Each word he said he took a step closer to me. By now my heart was pounding so loudly that I thought he might be able to hear. Being near him made my thoughts all jumbled up but I wasn't going to accept that, especially not to him. So I stuttered a no. To which he smirked as if he knew I was lying. "Okay, so you don't get goosebumps or shivers when I do this, right?" he murmured as he gently traced my arm. And almost on cue, goosebumps arose where his hand had been on my arm. "Why do you have to lie? I told you I like you and I know that you like me too then why lie?" he asked softly with his eyes staring into mine. Oh, I like him. A lot. But I couldn't succumb, I cannot be in a relationship with my employee that is basically against all the rules. I can't. But my thoughts were lost when he pressed his lips on my cheek very near to my mouth. And I closed my eyes. ---------------- Isabella Anderson is the owner of a famous cafe named 'Sugar & Spice'. Due to her best friend going out for a few months, a vacancy opened up and she needs an employee who is an amazing baker and could help her. Since desperate times calls for desperate measures, she ends up giving the job to a total stranger. And inevitably falls in love with him but things aren't that easy. Good things are never easy. Read 'The Bakery Love' to know more about the sweet and spice explosion which would take place when they get together.Complete
Seductress
"How dare you? Ariana, how dare you?" I could feel the anger from his heart radiate through his ears. the tears that kept rolling down my cheeks were unstoppable. I knew I just hurt him beyond imagination. "I'm sorry Nick truly am." "After everything between us, I loved you, I fuckin trusted you. I did everything I could to make you happy and you you-" he cut himself off. He suddenly became extremely silent. Like he was thinking of forgiving me. Ha! Like that'll happen. "Leave." he said in a dangerously low voice I almost didn't hear it. "Leave!" he yelled and I heard it perfectly well this time. "Leave before I do something I'd regret for the rest of my life." He added as he banged his fist on his desk almost knocking off the almost empty bottle of Brandy he'd been obviously drinking all night. Then it hit me. It was crystal clear that not only had I seduced and tricked Mr. Perfect, but I'd also broken his precious heart beyond repair. ********* Meet Arianna Rodstein. A 23 year old shy girl that would do anything to save her sister from a cruel businessman even if it means seducing one of the most sucessful business tycoons in the city. Did i mention he's devilishly handsome and sexy? Nick DeMorgane is just every girl's dream man. Rich,Handsome, Sexy and the CEO to one of the biggest companies in the world. The guy is Perfection and aims for Perfection. So what happens when "Mr Perfect" 's perfectly planned life is wrecked by a brunette out on a saving mission? Read and Find out! ^TheaComplete
Billionaires deal
"Damn you Sarah! Answer me...did you ran away from me to be with your damn lover?" Sarah slapped him hard across the cheek, he gritted his teeth, his hold on her tightened further. He pulled her towards him and held her waist hard which caused sarah to wince. He whispered close to her face, his lips almost touching hers "If you ever try that again, I promise you...you wouldn't like the outcome of what I'll do" Sarah stopped... Did that have a trace of sexiness and seduction in that or was it just her imagination. She pulled herself away from him and said "I'll do that and more if you ever cross your line with me" With that she left, Alex balled his hands into fists and watched her leave. The sway of her hips making his member have a very tantalising experience. She did have a lover...he had seen the innocuous glint in her eyes and that had made him murderous....wanting to kill every damn male she had had after him.....Complete
He fell in love with the girl he had a one-night stand with. When her true nature revealed, he hated himself for loving her and decided never to see her again. However, his fate took an unexpected turn and entangled him in a contract marriage with her, turning the girl he despised into his temporary wife. Will their love-hate relationship lead to a deeper connection, or will it keep them forever bound by the terms of their contract? *** As I spank her, Grace questions in a surprised tone, "What was that?" "That was for leaving your husband alone in the pool," I respond in a teasing tone, seizing her waist and pulling her towards me, stealing her breath. "But, my dear husband, you're pissing me off. Just move away." She tries to break free from my grasp. "Stop moving, Mrs Grey!" "No, I won't listen to you, Mr Grey. You told me you don't want me, so why are you here again?" "I didn't say that I don't want you," I whisper, closing the distance between us, my lips nearing my angry wife's. "It means the same!" She rolls her eyes. "I want you so damn much, okay? And I'm ready to regret it again and again for doing this. Today, I'll show you how much I desire you, my wife." I confess, my fingers playing with her wet hair, and my hand still firmly gripping her waist. "So tell me. Who is stopping you, husband?"
More detailsContent Guidelines