World beyond this World!

World beyond this World!

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WpMetadataReadMatureOngoing<5 mins
WpMetadataNoticeLast published Mon, Jul 27, 2015
Every morning I wake us and follow the same routine till I go to bed often wondering within myself "is this all what life has to offer? Following the same routine over and over. Fooling myself to get through yet another day, adding another day to my life span for some reason. Faking what I feel so that I won't feel judged by some unimportant person. suppressing all potential cos THEY don't understand" but sometimes the stubborn CHILD within me wakes up says "NOT TODAY! FUCK WHAT THEY WILL THINK ABOUT YOU! FUCK ALL THE OBLIGATIONS FORCED ON ME BY PEOPLE I DON'T EVEN REMEMBER" Then I start thinking about this little world within this world where I like to think about "COOL THINGS" such as "will I survive a night in the woods" or "how am I gonna survive a free fall from an airplane ?" "can I tame a freaking wild lion without getting killed"? Then I drift even more on existential questions such as " who the fuck am I?" "why i was build the way i look?(of course I know that I am hum"
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"Treasure what're you doing awake by this time". I heard my mum voice trailing behind. I shivered,I knew perfectly the rules of not being awake by this time. I would only get scolded at and maybe my phone seized. But it's not really my fault for wanting a distraction from my messy life. I just couldn't take it anymore,I was tired of thinking of my life I was tired of blaming God for the circumstances before me. Sometimes I feel like a burden and sometimes I wished I was never born. Life is cruel and learning from you mistakes doesn't count anymore. I have been told about how things would be fine by my mates. Encouraging words to keep me going, but it's simply not working. I would have committed suicide but I don't want to put my mum through that pain. She is my most favorite person in the universe. "Tress I'm talking to you. What are you doing awake?" I could feel my mum presence right behind me and dare not move. "Mum I just woke up and was just scrolling through Facebook sorry". I said after waking up from my trance. "You know the rules,no phones at night. Don't make me believe you have a boyfriend. Goodnight and put off that phone. Mum loves you. Goodnight Tress". "Goodnight Mum,sorry for breaking the rules. It won't happen again. I love you too". I smiled at her and watched her leave. I was actually texting my boyfriend.. Thank goodness he didn't call tho. That was really close, didn't want my mum to worry about me....

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