"Good humour is a tonic for mind and body. It is the best antidote for anxiety and depression. It is a business asset. It attracts and keeps friends. It lightens human burdens. It is the direction route to the serenity and contentment"- Grenville Kleiser.
I never thought about drowning myself. I always thought the best way out would be to simply suffocate, fast and effective. I also didn't plan on killing myself at such a young age, the world was in front of me, and I had friends and family. Yet I felt alone, I had been alone since I started high school, the feeling of being alone, rejected and vulnerable never were in my intentions to feel. I always thought I would be happy, loved and wanted but I couldn't have been more wrong.
So here I lie, the 12th June 1991, the bath filled to the brim, and my oxygen supply cut off. I am not in pain, I feel free, as if I'm watching everything unfold in front of me like I'm sat in my room, with my little sister Nina, showing her how good Oasis could be if she just listened, throwing her out when she touched my makeup.
But I'm still here, watching the surface become further and further in darkness, surrounded by my own thoughts, I am not struggling.
Now? Now I begin to fall asleep, quietly, in my own little world of peace.
Three..two..one...
... Brianna Ella Hayes is a young girl who was saved from killing herself, something she never planned on doing.
Holton Dawson, the boy who Brianna would soon know everything about.
Well.. he just enjoyed being mental a little too much.
Ella is falling apart trying to live a "perfect" high school life. Then she meets Ren, who can see past her scars. Suddenly perfection isn't her only option.
*****
Ella Volkov is a gifted music student, but she's depressed and starting to crack under the pressure of high school. Her overbearing father won't even let her choose what instrument she plays. Then she finds herself alone at a party with Ren, her best friend's crush. She'd always thought he was rude, but after that night he's all Ella can think about. Now she's trapped. If Ella dates Ren, it will ruin her friendship with Jenny. But if she stays true to Jenny, she's losing the one person who can see past her scars. It's up to Ella to decide if she will forge her own path, or stay in the "perfect" box designed for her...
Content and/or Trigger Warning: depression, anxiety, self-harm, violence, sexual assault.
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