Prisoner of Myself
- Reads 161
- Votes 19
- Parts 6
Ongoing23m
Last published Sun, Oct 25, 2015
Kylien looks like an ordinary freshmen. There never really was anything special about her, something that set her aside from others, on the outside at least. Anorexia along with depression has taken over her life. Every day is a new challenge. To wake up. To get out of bed. To breath. Most teens her age obsess over One Direction or Five seconds of summer. Instead kylien obsesses over her weight and body image. Anorexia is like a demon and a best friend at the same time. You hate it so much, you wish you could escape it and experience life without it, but you just cant let go. It wont let you let go.
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❝𝙄𝙩'𝙨 𝙚𝙢𝙗𝙖𝙧𝙧𝙖𝙨𝙨𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙬𝙝𝙚𝙣 𝙨𝙤𝙢𝙚𝙤𝙣𝙚 𝙛𝙞𝙣𝙙𝙨 𝙤𝙪𝙩 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙣𝙚𝙜𝙡𝙚𝙘𝙩 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙗𝙤𝙙𝙮'𝙨 𝙣𝙚𝙚𝙙𝙨, 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙨𝙚𝙚 𝙞𝙩 𝙖𝙨 𝙨𝙤𝙢𝙚𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙩𝙤 𝙗𝙚 𝙥𝙧𝙤𝙪𝙙 𝙤𝙛. 𝙀𝙫𝙚𝙣 𝙢𝙤𝙧𝙚 𝙚𝙢𝙗𝙖𝙧𝙧𝙖𝙨𝙨𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙬𝙝𝙚𝙣 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙠𝙣𝙤𝙬 𝙞𝙩'𝙨 𝙬𝙧𝙤𝙣𝙜, 𝙗𝙪𝙩 𝙨𝙩𝙞𝙡𝙡 𝙙𝙤𝙣'𝙩 𝙠𝙣𝙤𝙬 𝙞𝙛 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙘𝙖𝙣 𝙨𝙩𝙤𝙥. 𝙇𝙞𝙠𝙚 𝙖 𝙘𝙝𝙚𝙖𝙩𝙚𝙧 𝙜𝙚𝙩𝙩𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙘𝙖𝙪𝙜𝙝𝙩 𝙞𝙣 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙖𝙘𝙩. 𝙑𝙪𝙡𝙣𝙚𝙧𝙖𝙗𝙡𝙚. 𝙃𝙪𝙢𝙞𝙡𝙞𝙖𝙩𝙚𝙙. 𝙂𝙪𝙞𝙡𝙩𝙮. 𝙎𝙘𝙖𝙧𝙚𝙙. 𝘼𝙣𝙜𝙧𝙮. 𝘽𝙪𝙩 𝙨𝙩𝙞𝙡𝙡 𝙥𝙧𝙤𝙗𝙖𝙗𝙡𝙮 𝙜𝙤𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙩𝙤 𝙛𝙞𝙣𝙙 𝙖 𝙬𝙖𝙮 𝙩𝙤 𝙙𝙤 𝙞𝙩 𝙖𝙜𝙖𝙞𝙣.❞ Control. That's all Brylee wants. Control of her mind. Her weight. Her life. She may have a slightly unhealthy relationship with food, but she's fine. At least, that's what she tells herself. Then he comes along - the one she swore she would never let in again. His mind is an enigma. But maybe he's not as bad as she thought. Or maybe he's even worse, she can't decide. As their senior year progresses, secrets become harder to keep in the dark. She's losing control. And so is he. But sometimes losing control is a good thing.
"I smile everyday. I live my life like nothing is wrong with me. No one would ever guess that I'm screaming inside or that I've secretly been hiding this huge part of my life. No one would ever know that I cry myself to sleep at night or that deep down I'm starving for help." Welcome to Anorexia. Your hostess is Ana. She'll take over from here. Suffering alone inside of your mind from a terrifying mental disorder, is something that even those who battle such a thing every day, cannot fully understand. It's like being alone 24/7 yet it's never quiet inside of your head. You can't stop the voices. You can't control your emotions. As it gets worse, you lose control of your body all together. You become prey to your disease and You can't fight back. That is what it's like for someone who has spent years of their life suffering in silence from an eating disorder. Fighting a monster that you have no chance of beating. It's almost impossible to describe the type of torture that consumes your mind. Hell. It's equivalent to pure hell.
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