DAVE: Sleep

I wrote this for IronicApocalypse, who ships Davekat hard. Like, this is her top-tier ship, resting above all her secondary otp’s. Top-tier like the uppermost section of the food pyramid, which is all tiny as you’re supposed to eat sparingly from it because the foods on top are so rich. But of course all the oils and fats are the best, so you eat loads and loads of them and end up being a little obtuse yourself. Anyway, IronicApocalypse, this is for you!
The question is, can I faithfully depict your favorite characters? Can I resist the ever-present force in my mind that compels me to write crackfiction? . . . .(dots for dramatic pause). . . . .Read to find out

TRIGGER WARNINGS: there is swearing in this. I alm9st c9uldn’t 6ring my fingers t9 type the swearw9rds. I’m sure they think I’ve 6etrayed them.
There are als9 references to a6use and anxiety. If these trigger you, stay away. There is n9 reason to put y9ur mental well6eing at risk for a fanficti9n. Please talk t9 y9ur therapist/m9rail 9f ch9ice, and get the help y9u need if y9u feel c9mf9rta6le d9ing so. N9 need t9 rush it, h9wever. Take y9ur mental health at y9ur 9wn pace. I d9 n9t mean t9 9ffend any9ne 6y implying that y9u may need t9 get help right away.