Light at the End of the Tunnel

[] contains strong language and occasional triggering []
fuck suicide
fuck suicide so much
you want a "why not?"
how about the way your best friends sister will throw up by the side of the road because she's crying so hard.
how about the way your best friend will sob for weeks in her showers, in her bedroom, in the bathrooms at school.
how about the way your mother will cry when she looks at herself in the mirror and pictures herself bringing you home.
how about the way your fathers eyes will NEVER stop mirror the picture of your dead body.
how about the way your boyfriend will sit in his room, unable to eat or sleep or even fucking shower, because why would he want to continue without you.
how about the boy who called you a sister will cry every time he sees your parents.
how about the way your family will sit in your house after the funeral looking blankly at each other because god knows they can't find a fucking thing to say that doesn't float through the air where you should be walking.
how about the way your siblings will wake up every morning and see your closed door, convincing themselves that you're still sleeping or something.
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Don't you dare tell me it wouldn't change things
There may be stars in the sky and wind in the air and sun in the clouds
but without you, I don't want them
don't you dare be selfish enough to believe you aren't important to me
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so fuck suicide
fuck the romanticism of suicide
and fuck depressions overall for leaving my best friend crying in her room when she thinks no one can hear.