She was my best friend. And, I lost her.
Based off of a quote that I saw on Tumblr.
'Roses are red, violets are blue,
sugar is sweet, and perhaps so are you.
But, the roses have wilted, the violets are dead,
the sugar bowl's empty, you wrists are stained red.
The sun isn't shining, the sky isn't clear;
there's no silver lining 'cause you're no longer here.
Rain keeps on pouring, there's no end in sight,
you're laying there frozen, so far from the light.
Your beauty's unreal, your smile the sun,
but time can't be turned nor your actions undone.
The words that you wrote that only I read,
"I love you so much; please don't cry when I'm dead."
A bond that we formed, a love that ran deep,
a pain that we shared, a friend I could keep.
I wanted to hold you, wipe the tears from your eyes;
been there the moment you said your goodbye.
I want to forget, but most times I won't,
I want to let go, but I know that I won't.
Tears on my face, memories burned in my head,
the roses are wilted, the violets are dead. '
***this book contains suicidal thoughts and tendencies, may not be appropriate for younger audiences***
In which she looks for the purpose of life.
Lily Carter's parents died in a car crash leaving her and Laura, girl was depressed long before her parents passed away and with all the problems turning up now, Lily felt more miserable - if that's even possible.
With her journey to look for life's purpose and grab the small pinch of HOPE - which is ironically her second name -, will she finally snap at the pressure and finally end it all? or will a small light lit her darkened world of grief and loneliness?
*
"So you know. The little goth girl who gets bullied is indeed a mess. There's this mess in her head that eats her alive everyday isn't it? What to do now Kaden? Tell the whole neighborhood and recieve an award for taking out a crazy in this world?" I spit like vomit.
His eyes warmed up as I finished, "Lily. It isn't like that"
"What is it then? People stopped caring... they gave up, why aren't you?" I fought my tears.
"Because I feel the need to care. Did Leigh hurt you? Did she hit you?" he finally noticed the unusual redness of my cheek.
I don't like the way he told me he needed to care for me. I felt like an obligation, a responsibility that he is carrying and carrying leads to getting tired and when people gets tired, they give up. I don't want them to give up on me. But they will, so it's good not to make them care for me in the first place.
"I never needed anyone. I stopped needing anyone before, why start now?" I uttered the words again.
Why?
There is nothing to fight for. No mama. No papa. No sister to love me. No one. So why would I waste my life and the time of others to fix what is already broken - and someone who doesn't want to be fixed? If I may add.
Maybe I gave up. No, scratch that. I gave up a long time ago - when my parents died, my hope and purpose went away with them.