Loving Wren

It is odd how people can expect things and be so blind as to how their expectations are ridiculous. I of course knew that my expectations for Wren to come after me were ridiculous. I had told him that I couldn't see him anymore, why in the world would he ignore me? All of this and more fluttered about in my head while my shirt grew increasingly soaked from the heavy rain. It wouldn't have been quite so bad for them to suspend my license after my suicide attempt, if we didn't live on the coast of Oregon. Yet again I regretted my choices from months before. Still, if I hadn't tried to kill myself and been diagnosed with chronic depression, I wouldn't have ever met Wren. Here I was now, throwing our relationship (friendship, partnership, acquaintanceship, whatever it was considered) away. It was an easy thing to explain to myself, why I had to do it that is. If he died, it would be inevitable for me to go down too, but distancing myself from him was a whole new difficult feat. It might even be better to just die. That thought had lost all meaning by now though. Dying seemed better than practically anything now days. Dying especially seemed better than walking through the rain like this, my house was still 10 minutes away. I groaned loudly in distaste at my current situation.'I would rather walk in this thunderstorm for days than lose another person' I bitterly thought about Wren. Ugh, what was I going to do? I needed him, he was the only one going through similar situations. Even my mom and all her perkiness couldn't understand this. Regret started to itch under my now goose-bumped skin. How could I push him away? I finally pushed open my font door and stumbled into the foyer, my signature scowl decorating my pale face.