Depression: My Story.
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- Votes 4
- Parts 2
MatureComplete Thu, Aug 13, 2015<5 mins
Hey, im jade. I was 13 years old when I first thought to myself, im depressed. I noticted this in august 2014. Depression is like a never ending cycle of sadness.. you feel hopeless.
I wanted to talk to somebody about it but I didn't know how to exactly say it to someone, so the way I coped was, self harm. I didn't feel anything, the cuts didn't hurt or sting. It eventually got every addicting.
I slept about 85% of the day. I just slept I often hoped id never wake up. You loose complete interest in everything you do, in my case, it was baton twirling. I left because I couldn't handle it, I got super unfit.
Although, my eating habits decreased a awful amount. it came to a point where I started to get hunger headaches. I didn't have the energy to eat. it was horrible.
About 3 to 4 months later my mam noticed the difference in me, so she took me out of school. I didn't know why until we arrived at the doctors. while sitting in the waiting room waiting for my name to be called, she said ' jade, I know there's something wrong and we cant just leave it'. those were my mams words.
I had no choice but to tell the doctor everything. about the cutting, the sleeping habits, the not eating, and the headaches, which seemed to be getting worse.
The doctor provided me counselling. I did counselling from the start of January 2015. I suffered alone for 3 to 4 months. It doesn't seem like much, but it felt like a life time. It was very hard to open up to these people, I didn't know, but I didn't have a choice.
I told them I stopped cutting. which was a complete lie! I just hid my scars so they wouldn't see. Other than depression I was diagnosed with anxiety and I had blood test's for the headaches it was just severe migrains. I had the hospital every week, along with counselling. The paediatrics provided me with an inhaler, which would help me breathe during anxiety attack, they wanted me to take pills for it but my mam wouldn't allow that.
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She scowls. He smiles. She glowers. He laughs. She's cold. He's open. She hides with hate. He hides with jokes. Polar opposites. That doesn't stop them from loving each other. People say that some stars shine brighter than others. Leo Caldas knew that quote by heart. Being in a family of nine was hard. And he was the youngest. You would think, "Wow, the youngest? Lucky!" No. NOT lucky. Leo hated being the youngest. Not only was he bullied by his older siblings, he was shoved around like the middle child. His parents forgot he existed. They looked at him like, "Oh. He's still here." The worst part? They were divorced. Which meant he was always tossed around back and forth to each guardian, just waiting to be loved! His other siblings- might he add were ALWAYS given attention- had found their home. Some of his siblings stayed with his mother. And the rest stayed with his father. Both permanent. And Leo? He appreciates the concern. He went from place to place. He just couldn't find his home. What did he do to cope? He smiled. Instead of moping and sulking and doing what everyone else would have done, Leo Caldas smiled through it. It was all he knew how to do. "Pain is the best teacher". Jade Skai hated that quote with all her heart. Partly, because it was true. Pain was the best teacher. Fear coming in halfway. What was worse? When pain decided to side with fear and work together. She had felt both. Multiple times. And the feeling sucked. Jade was not your normal happy sunshiny girl. No. She was cold, having a snappy tongue and a heartless nature. That was her father's fault. Her mother had died when Jade was born. And it tore her father apart. He now sat at home. Drinking alcohol anytime she saw him. To add to the trauma, her father also beat her. Almost every night. For years since she turned ten. She was a very troubled girl. It wasn't her fault.
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