Depression: My Story.

Hey, im jade. I was 13 years old when I first thought to myself, im depressed. I noticted this in august 2014. Depression is like a never ending cycle of sadness.. you feel hopeless.

I wanted to talk to somebody about it but I didn't know how to exactly say it to someone, so the way I coped was, self harm. I didn't feel anything, the cuts didn't hurt or sting. It eventually got every addicting.

I slept about 85% of the day. I just slept I often hoped id never wake up. You loose complete interest in everything you do, in my case, it was baton twirling. I left because I couldn't handle it, I got super unfit.

Although, my eating habits decreased a awful amount. it came to a point where I started to get hunger headaches. I didn't have the energy to eat. it was horrible.

About 3 to 4 months later my mam noticed the difference in me, so she took me out of school. I didn't know why until we arrived at the doctors. while sitting in the waiting room waiting for my name to be called, she said ' jade, I know there's something wrong and we cant just leave it'. those were my mams words.

I had no choice but to tell the doctor everything. about the cutting, the sleeping habits, the not eating, and the headaches, which seemed to be getting worse.

The doctor provided me counselling. I did counselling from the start of January 2015. I suffered alone for 3 to 4 months. It doesn't seem like much, but it felt like a life time. It was very hard to open up to these people, I didn't know, but I didn't have a choice.

I told them I stopped cutting. which was a complete lie! I just hid my scars so they wouldn't see. Other than depression I was diagnosed with anxiety and I had blood test's for the headaches it was just severe migrains. I had the hospital every week, along with counselling. The paediatrics provided me with an inhaler, which would help me breathe during anxiety attack, they wanted me to take pills for it but my mam wouldn't allow that.