When I can't do anything else but think
- Reads 30
- Votes 10
- Parts 1
Ongoing<5 mins
Last published Sun, Aug 16, 2015
It's like, I want to explain how I feel. I really do, but there are no words in a dictionary for it. It's hidden, deep within the dictionary, so I can never find them and everyone who asks, how I really feel. So I cover it up with normal over used words people would rather hear.
"I'm fine, I swear"
If those words weren't stopping me from saying everything and the words in the dictionary came out of their hiding spots and helped me, I wouldn't be so sad and quiet inside.
Everyone would know I wasn't alright. Everyone would try to save me..
All Rights Reserved
Join the largest storytelling communityGet personalized story recommendations, save your favourites to your library, and comment and vote to grow your community.
You may also like
Savior (a Andy Biersack romance)
I felt the back of my head connect with the wall and felt a hot liquid pour down my neck and back. I touched my hand to the back of my head and lifted my hand up to examine a shiny liquid that must have been my blood. I felt dizzy and my stomach turned as I saw so much blood covering my hand. The man then laid me on the ground and stripped me. I was so weak by this point that I couldn't even fight back. He then spread my legs and took what he wanted. All I could do was lie there moaning in pain. All of a sudden I heard someone yell and the man got off of me and ran. I saw a pair of blue eyes and said, "My savior," and then I fell into darkness.Complete
In Shadows of Night
I woke to a sudden breeze invading the warmth from the heavy blanket that caressed my skin. Here, alone with my thoughts, the still, calm quiet in the atmosphere is almost painful. I feel suffocated in the clingy, static air. In quiet, still moments like these, I can almost feel Him. I don't know who "Him" is, but I can feel his presence. It's almost calming, especially on fearful, anxiety fueled nights. Usually, he was the strongest when I had a nightmare. The nightmares weren't as common now, but, right after everything happened, I was having them every night. I'd wake up and swear I was drenched in blood, my eyes and lips sticky, my nose filled with the smell of iron and fuel. After everything, that's when Him first came. From there, he just never left. I can usually sense when Him is near. Today, though, his presence is stronger. I can almost feel Him next to me, weighing down the mattress. Some nights, I roll over and imagine how he looks, envision his smile or the sparkle in his eyes. He's never there and I'm left clutching to the thought that he exists, staring into empty air. Tonight, though, I swear I can reach out and touch him. Extending my hand gently, I sweep my hand out into the darkness and meet an inexplicable warmth. A scream rips from my lungs as hands cover my face and two icy blue eyes stare back at me, daring me to speak again. A soft cloth caressed my nose and mouth before I felt myself fade into bed. All Rights Reserved. Contains graphic descriptions of violence and assault. Contains battle scene.Complete
Fatal Attraction: Falling into a Cruel love (Boyxboy)
Why did he kidnap me? This happened 3 months ago. Many times I have tried to escape the clutches of his rough hands. Many times I have cried for help. But I need to get stronger in order to escape from him. Now, three months later, I think about this, but now my feelings are different. I wanted to kill him, to make him suffer the way he made me suffer. "Do it, kill him!" Is what I'm thinking. "Kill him and it will be over. I will be able to escape." The mask that was hiding his identity looks at me as I hold the knife to his throat. The whole time I been wondering why I didn't just slit his throat. He told me to do it, to finish him but I couldn't, I just couldn't. I couldn't hate him for the times he whipped me or raped me. I just couldn't. I looked at him holding the knife to his throat with a shaky hand. No matter how hard I try I can't hate him. No matter how hard I try I can't get the knife to slice Reidson's throat. Dropping the knife on the floor I look at his face. I couldn't see his eyes because of the white mask. Now the same hands that used to be so rough became soft and warm. He still beats and rapes me but I figured out why I didn't hate him for making me suffer like this with these same hands that hurt me so cruelly are now touching my face gently. I held his hand to my chest as I look at his masked face. His hand is stained with blood. My blood. I look at his face, I have fallen into a cruel love.Complete
I'm Fine (#Wattys2015)
You know how when you do not want to talk and you say "I'm fine." You do. We have all been there. A fake smile, forced laugh, then you go home and cry. But, then, you find out a huge secret with holes missing. You want to find out all the answers. Basically, your life is full of twists and turns. Answers yo questions that you must find.Complete
Flower Steps
Something came to Gisselle, when she suddenly crashed into a car while driving, a guy was there, helping her and trying to heal her. She felt something in her hand, she could smell it. She had a flower held in her hand. "Keep it safe, you might need it for luck." The guy's voice was low and mysterious. "What for?" I said, my head felt unconscious and light headed, I felt like I don't remember anything and wanted to throw up because of being light headed. The guy hasn't respond, but I got up to the door and deciding that if I should go home or go to school in the middle of the day. A hand held my wrist, still holding the flower that was in my hand. "Not yet, I'm not done. You have a major bruise on your head, I'll get you some ice." I didn't want ice, I felt like I wanted to go home, but I stayed for a while because I don't know where had my car go or where to exit. How did I get here? What happened? Why am I here? I needed answers, but I guess I'll save it for the last.Complete
Safe
I always thought I was safe, you know? I mean, it wasn't really something I thought about before. It's not like I had a reason to worry about being particularly unsafe. I've always been perfectly normal anyways. Nothing exciting or dangerous happened to me. I was a plain Jane in every sense of the phrase, and nothing strange or particularly astonishing ever happens to people like me. My entire philosophy, however, was completely and drastically changed after being attacked and raped one night. I probably would have been killed if it weren't for Drake Collins, the closed off "tough guy" of my school. He came to my rescue, and reluctantly swore not to breathe a word to anyone. Unfortunately, my attacker escaped. It was after that, that I closed myself off from the few people that I did talk to before. My safety, my very sense of security, was violated. My world was swept out from under my feet. Drake stayed by my side the entire time, helping me through my struggles. He became the only one I could talk to or confide in, and was soon the only reason I woke up each morning. He kept me safe.Complete
Emotional Amnesia
Sometimes when I say "I'm okay", I want someone to look me in the eyes, hug me tight and say, "I know you're not". I have felt like this many times in my life; as a kid, teenager and as an adult. I have seen many things in my life and felt even more things that has been horribly depressing... But I got up. I stood up to walk on for another day. I dealt with my emotional amnesia the only way I knew I could and that was by writing it out into poetry. I wanted to forget my pain and forget what I was going through. I needed that cut of the blade or a pill to drink to take everything away. My poetry became both my pill and my blade... Now I share the most intimate part of myself with the world. The part of me I kept hidden in the closet. The part I never thought I would ever present to the world. Now is the time I have to stop having amnesia about my emotions. It is time to learn, to better myself and to stand up and remember the things that I shut out like a voluntary amnesia all these years. Those who are offended after reading this - f**k you! If you are sad with me and willing to cut your wrist - I know how you feel! If you just enjoy the words - I love you! #679 in Poetry on 17/03/2018 #779 in Poetry on 18/03/2018 #807 in Poetry on 19/03/2018 #474 in Poetry on 22/03/2018Complete
Fearless
Shit. I hopped on my bike and I started it and I drove off. As I was zooming down the street I saw a wolf in the middle of the road I was going to fast I pressed on my breaks but I wasn't going to stop in time so I swerved off the road. I moved the bike off of me, the wolf slowly came up to me. I thought I was going to die, but I didn't instead it bit my side I screams once it's teeth synced through my skin. What was worse then it stopped I felt his teeth slowly pull out he then ran off I cried in pain I heard my phone go off but I couldn't move nor answer everything was blurred I saw figures through my helmet. I heard cars stopped I saw someone standing over me. He lifted me to sit up but I screamed and cried in pain. He looked at my side and saw the bit then everything went black.Complete
A LETTER TO YOU
Hi. It's me again, the one who always hide everything behind words. If you happen to read this, i just want to let you know that I love you, I always do.Complete
When You Fall in Love with Your Enemy
When I was jumped off the bridge I thought of a moment which made me re-think my decision. But its too late. I was dying. Drowning. Struggling. Then his hand came up to me. He pulled me towards him. I was held up in his arms. He shook me to see if i can open my eyes. But all i can sense is his warmth. Who is he? Why is he saving me? Why is his touch feels so good?
I felt the back of my head connect with the wall and felt a hot liquid pour down my neck and back. I touched my hand to the back of my head and lifted my hand up to examine a shiny liquid that must have been my blood. I felt dizzy and my stomach turned as I saw so much blood covering my hand. The man then laid me on the ground and stripped me. I was so weak by this point that I couldn't even fight back. He then spread my legs and took what he wanted. All I could do was lie there moaning in pain. All of a sudden I heard someone yell and the man got off of me and ran. I saw a pair of blue eyes and said, "My savior," and then I fell into darkness.
More detailsContent Guidelines