You never know the fear of falling until you fall, or the shame of tears until you cry, or to guard your heart until it's been broken. Desdemona Ezra, only child of the divorced couple Carrie and James, has been broken, again and again. Her father left her and her mom when she was just a kid, and life went on. But then he came back, in need of money and a place to stay, spouting lies of false love, daring to even pretend to care. When he left the second time, he left both Dess and Carrie broken and bleeding. Carrie needed stitches, and Dess was in a coma. When she awoke she was not the carefree girl she'd been before, and trust was not something she believed in. So she broke her boyfriend's heart before he could break her's, and was on her own, a completely different person. Then she met Nott, someone more like her than she could had possibly imagined. With a past as painful as hers, Nott steps into Dessie's life and turns it upside down. Her life had already been upside down, so Nott mended her bleeding heart and made her believe in love and trust. But it wasn't over yet, and when her past threatens her future and her barely healed heart, decisions must be made by all involved. Carrie is engaged, Dess is in love, and they are finally getting back on their feet when their love and faith are tested with reappearances of those once closest to their heart. Deceit, pain, longing, tears, lust, fear, love. Some lies are better of believed, and some doors are better off locked. Follow Dess, Nott, Carrie, Phil, and others through the fear, laughter, uncertainty, love, doubt, lust and friendship that, luckily or not, comes with being human.
"You were worried about me, Specs?" He smirked.
"No, Tyler. I hoped that someone cut up your corpse and fed it to paranas. Obviously I was, you idiot! I'm a doctor. Worrying about people is kind of programmed into my system. It's a curse if you ask me," I surprised myself a lot more than I thought was possible with my answer.
And what did he do? Laugh! He fucking laughed! Not full on rolling- on- the- floor laughter but a laugh nonetheless.
"This isn't funny, Tyler."
"It kind of is. Almost a month ago, I would've sworn that you hated me. Be careful, Specs," he squinted down at me, "or you might actually sound as if you like me."
I rolled my eyes. "Don't flatter yourself. I was concerned. Don't confuse that with affection. It's two very, very different things."
***
When you think that all is not lost in the world.
That not all men are pricks and that not all sushi is bad.
When you think that there is a light, no matter how dim, at the end of the tunnel.
When you think that life isn't the ruthless bitch you've always thought it was...
It turns around and bites you in the ass.
When you think that the past will always and forever remain where it should be...
It comes at you from every direction. Like a violent tsunami destroying everything...and everyone in it's path.
Can you change what happened?
I wish.
Can you stop what's going to happen?
God! I really hope so.