I should hate it. It's a curse, after all. I've caused a lot of pain, hurt a lot of people because of it. My youth went by so fast it's like I'm still there, at the very first step towards this insanity. I can only remember fragments of it. Eight years of nothing, only the build up to the moment when I cut the cord. Only foundations weakening each day I spent trying to control my thoughts and extract every sliver of hope out of any source I could find. This curse, it's always near me. This bubble could burst at any second, and everything would end: my life or another's, me or my family's future. It's a black hole, an endless pit that sucks in every penny, every loving gesture that you throw at it. But I don't hate it. I'm thankful, even happy that a burden this large rests on my shoulders. Everything's clearer now, my mind unplugged from the system. I think and act by my own will and I can safely say I'm safe when all of this ends...for now. I still have to climb myself out of this rabbit hole, but everything else is primed for the taking. I have decades upon decades ahead of me.
20 parts