Alone But Happy

Highest ranking #298 - lonely
#14 giving-up

She knows she loves to be alone
She knows she needs to be gone
To be gone from others' lives happily
She still stays though regretfully.
All she knows is that they are still going to leave anyway
Leave her and let her go away.

She can be alone and happy
But she never wants to suffer alone
She prefers making everyone go crazy
Than being gone.

However, she always ends up alone
Alone but happy
Happy that she has gone through a lot of unforgettable moments
With the ones she loved or the ones she still loves.
She knows she will end up alone.
Alone and sad is not what she is yearning for.
Alone but happy is what she is searching for.

She creates memories
She brings up smiles
She provokes tears
She leaves traces of herself
So that no one forgets her.
She still ends up alone
Alone but happy

She could let everyone be
But she finds happiness in knowing that others can suffer like she can
So, she tries making others suffer just to know what it feels like being the one watching
Instead of being the one enduring.

She needs to be reassured that those feelings are alright
She needs to know that she has the right to cry

Yet, the only thing that she does not want to imitate is judging
Judging, for her, is the greatest sin
Though she knows she will end up in hell, she does not want to satisfy satan by doing the thing that destroyed her.
Because honestly, Satan had done no good to her,
Why would she make him happy?

She just wanders around alone happily.
She is the villain of her loved ones' lives.
But, what others forget is that she is the villain of her own life too.
She cannot blame others.

She cannot blame others like everyone blames her.

But as we all know, in the end she is alone.
She ends up alone.
Alone but happy