I'm Just tired

The word "suicide" have been passed around and even appeared in my mind before. What causes "suicide"? Bullying. Abuse. Depression. Pain. Neglect. And so on. These are some of my poems on suicide and the thoughts that have passed through my head. I have to admit, I have tried to commit suicide, but I have thought about it from time to time and even cut myself. I have scars over my legs and arms from it and I feel almost ashamed because of it. When I wear shorts or a tang top, people ask me where I got some of my large scars from. Memories flood back and I quickly used my old time excuse: "I'm clumsy."
To answer a few questions:
1. Yes, I do have a hidden, rusty razor hidden in my room that I don't use anymore.
2. I have been through pain and bullying. I even nearly died from it when I was young.
3. Yes, I use to cut because of my pain, neglect, and bullying.
4. I have tried to commit suicide once.
5. Yes, I do believe in hope.
6. Yes, I do believe people should be kinder to others for you are making a difference in their lives.
7. I have lost a friend to suicide. Bullying drove him to it and I hated myself for not being really there to help him through it. I was young and I didn't really know until our other friend told me he was being bullied. The night we planned to help him was too late. It turned out he had committed suicide.