All Of My Secrets
- Reads 1,072
- Votes 33
- Parts 21
Ongoing29m
Last published Tue, Jul 28, 2015
"I’m not worrying about anything. I’m not caring about anything.
I sometimes dream about dying, more specifically about killing myself. I wonder what it feels like. I wonder if this is how it feels to die."
My name is Taylor and this is going to be my "Journal".
I feel like I can't talk to anyone about how I feel so I decided to write this for myself.
I’m 17 years old. I am about five three, I have blue eyes and golden brown hair – a bit of a ginger colour – that reaches to my bum.
I have four birds, Settle, Grey, Boy and Harley, and a dog, Jackie (17 years old).
I do school online and am studying at TAFE in a course about animals.
I spend my time volunteering at the local animal shelter.
I'm a bit messed up in the head, with depression, anxiety, OCD, an ED, hallucinations and delusions. I've also self harmed and attempted suicide.
WARNING: POSSIBLE TRIGGERING CONTENT
All Rights Reserved
#281
dog
Join the largest storytelling communityGet personalized story recommendations, save your favourites to your library, and comment and vote to grow your community.
You may also like
Blurred Lines
Y/n has a secret. Actually, she has a few secrets. Y/n used to be involved with the BDSM community for several years with her fiancee, until her new job at the BAU slowly forced her to become more and more separated from her double life. One fateful night, it all changes. Y/n's life is now in shambles, and she has to navigate through her feelings alone. Y/n tries to throw herself into her work, finally allowing herself to become close with her team; but there's one person she can't connect with - her unit chief, Emily Prentiss. Y/n admires her from a distance, concealing her feelings for her unit chief. It works for a few months, but secrets are bound to be exposed, especially when you work with the world's top profilers. One case that hits way too close to home for Y/n proves just that. ... My phone dings as I sit back. I grab it, seeing a text from Emily. I gape openly at her text. "Fucking hell," I breathe. "What? What is it?" Garcia questions me in concern. I swallow harshly. "Emily texted me," I say, "It's a list of rules for tonight." "What do they say?" Garcia asks excitedly. I bite my lip as I read her text out loud. I take a breath, looking at Penelope. She shrugs at you through the mirror. "How are you doing?" She checks. I shake my head. "As good as I can be, given my role-play with the Chief just began," I groan, "I am going to regret this." ... TRIGGERS angst smut BDSM swearing degradation potential lack of aftercare - death/unaliving guns and other unaliving instruments blood mentions of rape and torture (for the cases obvs) kidnapping (for the cases, again, obvs) - anxiety/panic attacks depression throwing up (mostly from being drunk fun fact, Y/n likes to party) ---- *obvs I don't own any of the CM cast. I'm not following a particular plot from the show, and I make up my own cases for the team to work on. It's more fun for me and helps the story line --- #1: jj - 9/6/24 #1: jenniferjareau - 9/6/24 #1: prentiss - 9/6/24
A Spark Of Hope (#Wattys2016)
||UNDER EDITING || [ I just want to die. ] This story is about Sarah, a young teenage girl who is suffering from depression, anxiety and mental breakdown. She wants to die. She thinks that she dont have any reasons to live anymore. Will she win or will she lose the battle against herself? What happen when there is someone who really wants to be friends with her and tries to understand her? Will she accept or refuse? Is she going to be fine? Do her mom knew about her dark secrets and problems? What makes her depressed? [WARNING] THIS MIGHT BE TRIGGERING FOR SOME AUDIENCES. -Self harm -Foul language Please do give feedback on every chapter! That will help me to improve :) This is my first story. No hate please. -Erdy (Hope you guys enjoy the story ^-^) ©erdaniaputri Tysm for reading!Complete
Thoughts of a Juvenile
Words are sharper than knife they say. Yes it is true. Some perfectly moulded good words can both make and break a heart easily. A poem is a group of such perfectly moulded words given wings to fly. They fly through the mind and heart easily. A hobby is an activity we do to express ourselves, our beliefs and our thinking. For example through drawing, dancing, singing, etcetera. Writing a poem is one of such hobbies. Here words are used. These words and messages are far more twisted. A poem hits the mind, a good poem hits the heart. Thoughts Of A Juvenile is just a collection of my poems.I started writing poems when I was 8. I may not be a great writer. But yeah I write to express. There have been times for me like many other teenagers where I thought I was lost and helpless. There have been good times too. I'm standing on the edge of teenage now, telling you that you can survive this. You can survive everything. All you need is to find your strengths. There are sad nights and then there are mornings full of opportunities. Don't give up. I'm here and I'll always be here. Whenever you feel down just remind yourself "Be stupid". Go out in public and the eat the food you like alone, ask out your crush, flirt like there's no one watching, dance like a ghost has possessed your body, prank people, have a little chat with the nerds you know. Surviving is an art not many can master. Be a Master. There are mistakes in this book and I tried my best to correct them. But couldn't correct them all. I would really love to receive reviews and criticism. Vote if you like it. Comment your views. And follow for more poems. Add it to your reading list or library.Complete
The Suicide Equation
For the last month I've had nothing but dark thoughts. I finally decided to speak to someone about it. I went to Mr.Harn and told him everything. All he did was hold me and bring me to the schools councilor. He told her the story I was able to utter. She called my mother and arranged for me to be put into therapy. I spoke with her for half an hour. "You've been through way to much for a girl your age!" She said in astonishment. "I know." I replied. "How are you alive?" She asked with both worry and curiosity. "I honestly don't know." I spoke the truth. How am I still alive?Complete
To Be
Death could be so unpredictable, am I right? You see I never really pictured how I'll die. My life was okay, or as okay as okay could be for me. Constantly haunted from my past. Always pretending. Except with Adrian. My Adrian. With him I'm happy. But then everything changed. And now I'm dying, slow and painful. Now, what led to all this? I'll tell you only if you're daring enough to read my story. Well, are you? *#197 in young love 12/26/19* *#222 in young love 5/10/20* *#270 in young love 12/3/20* *#55 in yafiction 3/29/21 *#18 in yafiction 4/01/21 *#16 in yafiction 1/24/22 *#44 in yafiction 11/11/22 *#25 in yafiction 3/13/23Complete
Don't let go - Emily Prentiss x Reader
You and Emily met at the BAU when she transferred back from Interpol after Hotch had hired you a few months before. You fit right into the team when you joined, and naturally developed a great friendship with Emily when she returned too. But that friendship quickly developed into a little something more, and although you'd agreed to keep it secret from the rest of the team, it was getting harder to hide how much you cared for each other, especially when one particular case puts you right at the forefront of the team's investigation. This fanfic will revolve around y/n having mental health issues, and whilst the relationship with Emily will play a large part in the storyline, I want to keep it as realistic as possible so y/n's mental health problems will continue throughout. For the purposes of this story, Emily's return from Interpol is the only reason why she's left the BAU, the Ian Doyle storyline has not happened yet. (This story mentions various mental health topics including depression, anxiety, eating disorders (restriction and purging), self-harm and suicide. Please don't read if you think it'll trigger you, and please reach out to someone if you're struggling.) Smut warning - chapters with smut involved will have '*' in the titleComplete
Undercover Lovers (EmilyPrentissxReader)
THIS IS ALSO POSTED ON AO3 Y/N started at the BAU almost 2 years ago and her and Emily's bickering started on her first day. The pair constantly throw insults at each other along with glares and eye rolls, the team are used to their petty arguments - it doesn't stop them from solving cases together. What will happen when the pair have to go on an undercover mission as a couple, will living together change the dynamic of their relationship? Will new feelings be recognised?Complete
Innocent: Spencer Reid ✔️
She's worked with two notorious killers for years, but now she's in an interrogation room while the team at the BAU try to grill information out of her. Where are they? Why did you do it? Why do you kill like that? Why do you spend so long with your victims and most importantly - why were you so easy to find? Spencer's on the other side of the mirror, observing her body language. She doesn't flinch, her eyes don't twitch or move from the desk but she's trying to hide one thing - her index finger rapidly tapping against her thigh. It doesn't take a genius to see her brows furrow a fraction of an inch when she says one sentence. "They are my family." She's a liar. A thief. A murderer. But shes innocent. And they just gave her a job. ••••• On the cover, it says 'Spencerreidsgirlf'. It was my old username which I can't be arsed to change because I like the cover, and I think it's getting my fanfic attention so...enjoy!Complete
Y/n has a secret. Actually, she has a few secrets. Y/n used to be involved with the BDSM community for several years with her fiancee, until her new job at the BAU slowly forced her to become more and more separated from her double life. One fateful night, it all changes. Y/n's life is now in shambles, and she has to navigate through her feelings alone. Y/n tries to throw herself into her work, finally allowing herself to become close with her team; but there's one person she can't connect with - her unit chief, Emily Prentiss. Y/n admires her from a distance, concealing her feelings for her unit chief. It works for a few months, but secrets are bound to be exposed, especially when you work with the world's top profilers. One case that hits way too close to home for Y/n proves just that. ... My phone dings as I sit back. I grab it, seeing a text from Emily. I gape openly at her text. "Fucking hell," I breathe. "What? What is it?" Garcia questions me in concern. I swallow harshly. "Emily texted me," I say, "It's a list of rules for tonight." "What do they say?" Garcia asks excitedly. I bite my lip as I read her text out loud. I take a breath, looking at Penelope. She shrugs at you through the mirror. "How are you doing?" She checks. I shake my head. "As good as I can be, given my role-play with the Chief just began," I groan, "I am going to regret this." ... TRIGGERS angst smut BDSM swearing degradation potential lack of aftercare - death/unaliving guns and other unaliving instruments blood mentions of rape and torture (for the cases obvs) kidnapping (for the cases, again, obvs) - anxiety/panic attacks depression throwing up (mostly from being drunk fun fact, Y/n likes to party) ---- *obvs I don't own any of the CM cast. I'm not following a particular plot from the show, and I make up my own cases for the team to work on. It's more fun for me and helps the story line --- #1: jj - 9/6/24 #1: jenniferjareau - 9/6/24 #1: prentiss - 9/6/24
More detailsContent Guidelines