Funny Jokes and Comebacks
- Reads 135,423
- Votes 7,421
- Parts 70
Complete Wed, Oct 31, 20186m
*WARNING* This book will either make you want to bash your head on a table or knee slap :)
Read if you're sad, mad, happy, pissed, tired, bored, curious or feeling anything in general, (and if you're like me and don't have a soul, still read).
P.S
If you don't read, you'll make the cute dog on the cover sad. You don't want to do that, do you?
All Rights Reserved
#447
smiles
Join the largest storytelling communityGet personalized story recommendations, save your favourites to your library, and comment and vote to grow your community.
You may also like
![Tyler Talk [Complete]](https://img.wattpad.com/cover/21044692-256-k695424.jpg)
Tyler Talk [Complete]
The book of random shtick that I will probably update the most because I made it as an excuse to write in a book as constant as possible on wattpad and if you tried to read this out loyd you probably could not say it in one breath without involuntarily taking a breath.... I think my thumb grew a muscle when I wrote this. xD.Complete
My Babies Mystery Daddy. (Completed March 2021)
(Mature content) (Highest ranks listed) (Editing slowly) A simple last night out with my girls before I move to America. Drinks are flowing, hips moving & laughing like we have no worries in the world, & an encounter with a drop dead gorgeous man, whos eyes could see my soul like we belonged & his hands ohh 🤪 but I left before he woke mortified. I never had a one night stand. Only problem now is I left with something belonging to him. So here I am 4 years later and my boss is retiring. Who's my new boss you ask. Well you guessed it & Does he remember me? I hope not as theirs more than my feelings at stake now. *********************************** Eoin Ryder now 29 year old badboy billionaire. Eoin cant get a girl named Saoirse (sheer-sha) out of his head for years. That one incredible night has had him searching for that connection again. He dates but nothing to serious as he compares them to her beauty. Is there such thing as love at first sight. Will he find her again. If so what will he do. What will she do. Though he is in for a shock. Laughter, tears, anger, sex & possible loss. This book has it all. Hey everyone 😁 this is my 1st ever book/story to write & writing it from my phone. If its boring or silly I do apologise. Im writing chapters as I go so please be kind and i would love feedback and ideas for this story. I Started it 20-dec-2020. I thought id give it ago & to have a new focus point to steadying out my anxiety. Never done anything like this before. feel free to point out mistakes nicely im trying to edit quickly. Also the pregnancies are sort of based on my experiences. Also copywrited. Mature content will be present so please dont read if this will offend you or under age. Hightest rank 1st #daddy (sept) 1st #Irish (may 21) 1st #over18s (may-now) 2nd #single (feb23) 2nd #2021 (may 2021) 2nd #accidental (may 2021) 3rd #soul (may 2021) 4th #lover (june 2021) 6th #sexual (june 2021) 10th #love (may 2021) 11th #growth (june 2021)Complete
INSATIABLE
He brought his hands up and tucked my hair behind my ear. coming closer to my ear "Do i arouse you?" he whispered, making my knees weak "I can feel the heat radiating off you and i know you are soaking wet already" What the hell? Pushing him off me i straightened up and glared at him "You are now my boss starting tomorrow and i dont think it is appropriate to use comments like that with an employee." He suddenly jammed on the elevator emergency button, causing the elevator to stop. "Really? That would make this more exciting and easier. "I am attracted to you, you are attracted to me. Lets fuck and be fine" I stared at him wide eyed Has this man gone mad? I admit that he is hot and affects me a little but that doesn't mean i want to jump into bed with him, he is my boss for crying out loud and i really need this job" He was now standing in front of me with his face close to mine staring at my lips. I want to kiss you" He whispered making me feel chills all over my body. ***************************************************** Blake Greyson wasn't born with a silver spoon but he worked all his life to get to the top. Too as one of the eligible billionaires in Florida with his beautiful girlfriend Anna by his side every step away. Mellisa Wakefield is a young woman in her early twenties who is yet to get her life together. She fails miserably in whatever she does and her sister never misses the opportunity to remind her of how much of a loser she was until she got a job at Greyson's enterprise. Two different people tangled into a life of love, sex and betrayal.Complete
Friends & Foe's (COMPLETED)
*THIS BOOK HAS BEEN COMPLETED* When four crazy best friends set out for Uni, fate has something else in store. When they messed with the wrong crowd, embarrassed themselves with some cringe worthy moments. Pretty much everything else went downhill from there. From broken hearts to drama queens. They probably wished they got jobs at target instead... Just a reminder: ( There are 3 people altogether writing this book....) - This book contains a lot of swear words... - First ever Wattpad book we have published. (So don't judge!) - Sorry for any mistakes, we try changing them as soon as we find them. - This book is quiet cliche... - It has been completed!!! - Anddd finally..... ENJOY!! ZMS XXXComplete
A Teenagers life
I'm terrible at descriptions but just give my book a try i promise you won't regret it. I'm pretty funny ik if you really are funny you shouldn't have to say that but y'all might not even read the book so you might not be able to look in to my unique humor. Please read it I'm begging you please I got a chocolate addiction to feed hear people please read this bookComplete
WHAT
BOOK ONE. So, I see that you have stumbled across this book, hmm. Well it's your lucky day. *Wink wink* This is a book that contains random weirdness, and you can read at your own risk. (Caution: All these things actually happened to me and my friends. We are weird. We've embraced it, it's time you do too. ) : )Complete
Five BFFs *The Amazon Forest*
So, just a disclaimer. This is an old story I wrote for my four best friends back in middle school and I wasn't very good (I'm still not that good). I've tweaked it a bit but the plot is still the same. One of my friends, who's in the book, has asked me to put this up along with the sequel for some time now. So, yeah. Enjoy. Oh! And also, the cover is just using cats to symbolize my friends and I. The book isn't actually about cats. Also, the chapters are really short. --------- I've always dreamt of going on some amazing adventure with my friends but I never thought it would actually happen. One day, I'm just working on science homework and the next I'm in the Amazon forest with my four best friends on a mission. Not to mention, animals are disappearing more and more every day. This ought to be interesting.Complete
15 Days With The Possessive Billionaire
"You are mine now. Just remember one thing nobody gets the privilege of bringing that smile on your face and touching you" he clenched his fsts and moved forward. My breath hitched. "I want to see you smile every morning and lie beside you each night. I cannot think of somebody more perfect for me then you are. Your my strength and biggest weakness. You complete me. I could do anything to bring a smile on your face and kill any man who brings a tear." I cant believe it, the college bad boy who had every girl on his feet wanted me. Suddenly his hand started moving around my thigh making circles on them. He leaned forward. Our lips were so close still he did not kiss me. What a tease! His finger was going to enter me when he stopped. ******************* When Ayan's friends challenge him to bed the new girl Veronica, the only way he thought would bring her close was a vacation away from all of them. It gets messy when feelings started pouring in. Veronica fell in love. Or I think she did. After all- Who doesn't want a guy who is handsome, caring and loves you like your his only possession in this world. Did he know she was pregnant? Read in to discover them trying to discover their own mysteries. This book is a roller coaster of love, lust, heartbreaks.Complete
Book 1✔️ Sugar Baby
Highest Ranking #1 adultthemes (01/05/19) #1 eroticromance (24/10/2019) #1 adultromance (26/06/2019) #1 sugardaddy (05/08/2019) #1 couple (16/08/2019) #1 mature (16/10/2019) #2 romance (2/11/2019) #2 ceo (23/03/2020) "You need to shut up baby. Let me take care of your needs. Can you do that for me?" He unzipped my dress, as it falls freely down to the floor. ***** Lori was a socialite, she lived a life of luxury until her parents got a divorce and she was forced to live on her own. She struggled with financing her education and trying hard to maintain her high standard of living. She finally gave up when her best friends treated her like she has the plague and cut her off, then her boyfriend was forced to end things with her when his parents didn't want him to be associated with Lori because of her family's scandal. And that's when she decided to take the offer to be a sugar baby, thinking she'll treat it as a summer job and end it as soon as she's back on her feet again. ********** James never needed a girlfriend. He's a workaholic. He likes the arrangement of a sugar baby where he can pay a sum of money for a companion of a young attractive woman. His friend suggested the idea. With the last sugar baby being too attached to him. It's time for him to find another one. A less demanding one. His eyes locked into the beautiful fragile young woman with an attitude to match. Her fiery yet nervous attitude was refreshing for him, and he wanted her for himself. Will he get what he paid for? Will she get back on her feet? ********** Completed: May 2019 *Warning! R-Rated for 18+ due to strong, explicit language and sexual content*.Complete
Thoughts
*** A Wattpad Featured Collection *** Dreams. Imagination. Emotions. These are what this book emodies. The stories here will be centered on these three pillars. Pillars that can open up the world we live in to something better than what we know. And nothing can define the world better than the Thoughts we have everyday. Here's a couple of mine :) ............................................................................................................................... This book is a collection of short stories written to inspire, facilitate, and maybe even motivate, anyone out there with something to say about life. A story is a gift best shared than received. Amazing cover was done by @KRosalle. She's truly an amazing person🙌 (The Creativity Awards Runner's Up ✌😊) (The S.S.P.R 3rd place Random Winner✌😊) (The Rose Awards 1st place Short Story Winner✌😊) (The Pen and Ink January Quote Awards 2nd Place Winer✌😊) (Featured in Wattpad Short Stories Reading List "Boxed Sets" ✌️😊) *I'm climbing the ladder here haha*Complete
The book of random shtick that I will probably update the most because I made it as an excuse to write in a book as constant as possible on wattpad and if you tried to read this out loyd you probably could not say it in one breath without involuntarily taking a breath.... I think my thumb grew a muscle when I wrote this. xD.
More detailsContent Guidelines