My Book IS My Baby

My Book IS My Baby!
I feel as though I should apologize to you and all mothers. At my book release party, I told people “I never had a child and this (book) is my baby.”
I can’t even imagine the feelings one goes through while pregnant, during child-birth and after, when one has to deal with that child. But I purposely never had a child because I knew the entire process is painful, very difficult and even heartbreaking at times.
In my case I did feel all these emotions with my novel, from writing the first draft, to the final ms that was turned into the editor, to the exposure of my book to the world. There are many things that are out of my control, and there are many things that are not, yet I didn’t control them.
At one point, I had a misunderstanding with the editor and I, unintentionally, insulted him. The only way I could begin to convince him that it was a mistake was to give him a tip ($200, a little less than 20%). All along this process, I have been hurt and have responded badly because of misunderstanding or not being clear enough, or even sometimes people actually were rudely insulting me or my work.
Looking back, I almost always overreacted. But, whether it was my fault or someone else’s, my heart has been broken several times throughout the process. I have had sleepless nights and days that I walked through like a zombie. I have cried, gotten angry, been too mean and sometimes, even too nice.