Indigo
- Reads 7,976
- Votes 166
- Parts 33
Ongoing5h 28m
Last published Wed, Sep 3, 2014
"Oh, please Indigo, you are way too perfect to make a mistake like that." Ryder's grip tightened on my arm, like if it was a warning sign.
"Well this good girl is tired of the image perfect, I'm tired of being good! I'm tired of not being able to do the things you do because my image is that shy, teal hair colored, perfect, good girl. I know there is no space for mistakes when you're in my shoes but, honestly? I just want you to get me wasted and make me do a mistake I know I'd regret. And it sounds stupid, but it's the truth. I'm. Tired. Of. Being. Indigo. And I'm glad you took that picture of me that night, because if you hadn't I would've never been in this situation, trying to take out all my anger for all those stupid, perfect years." I stopped to take a long breath.
**** Long story short, my name is Indigo Roberts and I'm the girl who doesn't hang around anyone. I'm just that Scene girl with the green hair.
That's not enough?
My parents are almost never home, and since I'm an only child I spend most of my days alone at home. What about my neighboor? Don't even get me started with this idiot and his big macho-man act. He's a "bad boy" so he pretty much has that "Stay away from me or I'll kill you" reputation.
Honestly, I think he's stupid. Probably the only good thing about him is that he's not like other bad boys. He wasn't a player. He's just bad most of the time. And from all the yelling I've heard from his house at night. I completely understand why he acts like that.
Why Ryder King acts like that.
Blackmailing has to be illegal right?
Well, not if you're blackmailing someone who's blackmailing you. And what if you're tired of being good? It's not good to hold in your anger for such a long time, you know.
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#14
really
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Loneliness. Depression. Broken. Scared. Devastated. Hopeless. Mournful. Disheartening. Bleak. Joyless. Somber. I have no one. Depression and Loneliness are the only things I feel. My family tries to make me happy, but I just put on a fake smile and cry about it in my room. They act like everything is alright, but everything is not. They KNOW I was devastated about Mom's murder. They KNOW I was heartbroken about Dad's sickness that eventually killed him. That's all I've thought about. Devastation and heartbroken. Just because of those two things. Never in my life I have been this devastating. Dayton, Hayden, Angel, or Monica know how to make me truly happy. Not even my own siblings know how to make me show a real smile. Suicide is all I can think about day to day and I've almost died because of that. DEPRESSION IS A REAL THING. NO ONE KNOWS HOW I FEEL EVERYDAY. NO ONE CAN JUDGE OTHERS ABOUT DEPRESSION OR EVEN MAKE JOKES ABOUT IT BECAUSE ITS A REAL THING. DEPRESSION HAS KILLED PEOPLE. EVERYONE IN MY LIFE JUDGES ME JUST BECAUSE I DON'T SMILE, LAUGH, HUG, OR DO ANYTHING NORMAL PEOPLE DO. I CUT MYSELF, I CRY, I YELL, I VENT, I PUSH PEOPLE OUT OF MY LIFE. Those are the things people are worried about me. "Go kill yourself and join your parents in hell." They say and I just shrug it off and find a private place to hide and cry it out. "I CAN'T DEAL WITH LIFE ANYMORE!!!!" I say and I use my sharp nails and cut myself then cry some more. A gun is buried within my arm for defense from my dad, but I use it in case I am tired of society. Then that's when I met the Host Club. They saw my sadness and made me a part of it to repay my debt for accidentally breaking a vase. I am now a Host for men to flatter them, but how can normal guys want me to be a Host when I wear lip earrings, eyeliner, chains, and have a gun in my arm? I'm the definition of Hell. Then he made me smile again, something that I thought I would never get back. Happiness.
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