Seventeen.
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- Parts 1
The only thing I'm conceiving tonight is a bittersweet aftertaste.
There's always a reason to inhale confidence and the little breath I do away with rushes back to me when I'm with you.
I was behind the normal crowd, cursing those who knew the fundamentals of love, and feeling nothing but contempt for the people who got to end their day with a kiss on the lips as the moonlight seemed to put on a show just for them. Now today I understood that it just isn't everything.
Salty tears would hit the ground and from there the center of the earth would brew an evil stew, made especially for me.
This inability to form coherent words when I'm around you never ceases to amaze me. My mind is my own and yet when I'm around you I'm fighting my ailments because you're starting to make me feel alive.
Being in touch with your feelings is never a bad thing, not at all.
No matter where we walk every pebble and stone would sink into the earth and spring forth onto the daylight as if they're seeing us for the first time.
We could lay on my lawn with our arms outstretched and wonder what it would be like to be the only two people on the planet. In the far reaches of the galaxy, even.
I'm meticulous with my thoughts but even more so with you.
When the day is done and we're dancing around the flames I would hold your waist ever so gently and gaze lovingly into your eyes.
You have that cute smile that makes the rest of the obscure features on your face visible.
I'm never happy, only less melancholy. Sad for me but not so much for you,
If I really wanted to escape this change I would look at the time.
With you, every moment would be the most beautiful crime.
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My restless mind doesn't stop to think about things before suggesting them to me, pushing my hopes up. I often have debates with myself inside my head. Good thing nobody else hears it though, otherwise I'm certain I'd get some weird stares. My mind continues to argue with me, but really, I'm just arguing with myself. Maybe he likes you. He doesn't. What about the kiss? A dare, nothing more. You love him. Sure I do, but why would he love someone like me? Do I love him? That's a good question... Wait, why am I even thinking about this stuff? This is just me talking to myself, just me shooting possibilities out there, hopes and dreams that most certainly won't come true. I have sanity to realize this, but unfortunately, the other side of me thinks otherwise. You liked kissing him. STOP IT, STOP IT, STOP IT!!! My heart races just at the thought. I did like kissing him. But it was only a dare. Stop reminding me about it, for god's sake! Maybe he liked it too. Probably not. Maybe he's thinking about you right now, as you are him. Ha! If only! Those last words echo in my mind. If only... If only he felt the same. Maybe he does, but I'm not about to bet my money on it. Probably not. Who would love me? If only... he did.
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