Seventeen.
- LECTURAS 10
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- Partes 1
Concluida sáb, ago 13, 2016<5 mins
The only thing I'm conceiving tonight is a bittersweet aftertaste.
There's always a reason to inhale confidence and the little breath I do away with rushes back to me when I'm with you.
I was behind the normal crowd, cursing those who knew the fundamentals of love, and feeling nothing but contempt for the people who got to end their day with a kiss on the lips as the moonlight seemed to put on a show just for them. Now today I understood that it just isn't everything.
Salty tears would hit the ground and from there the center of the earth would brew an evil stew, made especially for me.
This inability to form coherent words when I'm around you never ceases to amaze me. My mind is my own and yet when I'm around you I'm fighting my ailments because you're starting to make me feel alive.
Being in touch with your feelings is never a bad thing, not at all.
No matter where we walk every pebble and stone would sink into the earth and spring forth onto the daylight as if they're seeing us for the first time.
We could lay on my lawn with our arms outstretched and wonder what it would be like to be the only two people on the planet. In the far reaches of the galaxy, even.
I'm meticulous with my thoughts but even more so with you.
When the day is done and we're dancing around the flames I would hold your waist ever so gently and gaze lovingly into your eyes.
You have that cute smile that makes the rest of the obscure features on your face visible.
I'm never happy, only less melancholy. Sad for me but not so much for you,
If I really wanted to escape this change I would look at the time.
With you, every moment would be the most beautiful crime.
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Concluida
All you need Is love but sometimes love alone isn't enough
I really don't remember the last time I was happy even my childhood memories I honestly don't remember having a bubbly childhood like any other kids ,my life has always been miserable and honestly learned how to adapt to that. you honestly smile over something stupid , laugh over a cracked joke for a few minutes and there's that thing that triggers that you just had enough and you should stop and your mood just goes down and there's nothing to do about it. It's like the inner you always wakes up fucked up more than you are fucked up and tells you that you just sad and you gonna stay that way until you take out the anger on something or someone but you know what something always has to be the blade, permanent scars on how bad it was ,a daily reminder on how life is and how sadness over comes you at times actually not at times but everytime and on the someone part , you hurt people that honestly try to reach out to you and show you how much they care about you but you just had it with everyone and everything and you want no one caring about your feelings and giving a fuck about you because you can't reciprocate the feelings. You can't find yourself caring about anyone else but you but still can't care about yourself enough to feel safe or protected , he was the only one that made me feel alive and I lost him but what hurts more is losing someone and only realizing later what they meant to you.Concluida
so, I've been struggling for a long time now, and I never told anyone about it. I've never opened up. but I met someone who understands how I feel, and I'm beginning to feel again. I don't know how to do it, but I finally feel I can fight. I've been so exhausted. I'm not better, I'm not sure if i ever will be, but I'm not numb, not entirely. I can't say how I'm feeling, or what i am going to write, but if you want it, it's here. This is for you. For everyone who was made to be the villain by those meant to be by their sides. For everyone with a sensitive heart made to grow strong much too quickly. For everyone who struggles to get out of bed in the morning. For everyone who never could find the words to say why. For everyone who struggles to feel and for everyone who feels too much. For everyone who had to pick themselves back up. For everyone who had to parent themselves. For everyone fighting an invisible battle. For everyone who has been underestimated. For everyone who has to flee to other worlds to cope. For everyone who found other means to silence their voices. For everyone who was silenced. For everyone who was over powered. For everyone who was made to be less. For everyone who had to watch someone else suffer and stay silent. For everyone asking themselves, why? Why would you do this? What did I do? Why is this happening to me? It was never your fault.
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