im to blame
- LECTURES 3
- Votes 0
- Chapitres 1
Sitting in the dark, alone, with the smell of cooked beef in the air. I sit here alone in the dark and think about everything that has gone bad in my life. I look at the good and bad things in each situation. But with every single thing I somehow find a way to blame myself. Its not my fault, I can't help it. Its just what I do. They say your past doesn't define who you are. But its hard to believe that when it has taken over your mind. I don't know who I am anymore. And maybe I never will. But for now I will keep playing memories in my mind and somehow find a way to blame myself.
Tous Droits Réservés
Rejoignez la plus grande communauté de conteursObtiens des recommandations personnalisées d'histoires, enregistre tes préférées dans ta bibliothèque, commente et vote pour développer ta communauté.
Vous aimerez aussi
Fix Me, I'm Broken
Walking into an empty house is normal to me. I guess I got tired of saying 'I'm home' when nobody is home to reply. It wasn't always like this. I remember when our family was close. Now we don't see each other any more. We don't talk to each other. We don't eat with each other. We don't ACKNOWLEDGE each other. This all happened after my 'Mother' killed herself. My father blames me. This is my story about how I learned to not count on anyone else but myself. I'm broken. I'm used. No one can fix me. But when the New Boy in town tries to fix me, everything will change. Good change or Bad change, I don't know. Only time will tell. I want to enter this story in the #Wattys2015 please help me out and vote and comment on my story. I'll really appreciate it!!! #Wattys2015 COPYRIGHTED © 2014 BY Anallely ALL RIGHTS RESERVED ®Terminé
Unintentional Passion
Geovanni Have you ever gotten that feeling that somebody was watching you? And that person who was watching you wasn't normal. I have felt that way all of my life; but then again I felt as if I went missing nobody would even notice or care I was gone. I am 23 and just graduated from college. I was there an extra year because I had to take care of my family. I had to transfer back into the city and pick up the extra work because my mom died, and my dad became addicted to anything that would numb his pain. My little sister and brother would be lost without me here. But now I could care less. A cold breeze blew through my window waking me up from my thoughts. I looked over in the corner and saw that nothing was there. It was odd because I felt like someone well more like something was there. It had to be my imagination getting the best of me. I laid back in my bed and closed my eyes. Then all of a sudden I got the feeling I wasn't alone. But the really strange thing is that even if there was someone in here with me I felt safe. Jordan. I watched her as she slept. In fact I have been watching her since she was born. I have waited half a century to find that one person. I think I have finally settled on her. She was my choice. I know. After being in as many relationships as I have you know things. I felt my fangs tingle. Her blood smelled so sweet. Her heartbeat was steady and strong. I took my tongue and ran it across my fang. The temptation to indulge in her red liquid was far too strong. I let out a low growl and jumped out her window. I was ready for a hunt. "Did you see her Jordan?" "Yes, and tomorrow night you will turn her," "Why do I have to turn her?" "Ezra, you know once you turn them, they hate you," "I didn't hate pops," "You wanted to join though," "True, but first see if she wants to be turn before you jump to conclusions," I nodded my head, before me and Ezra took off to find some fresh blood for the night.
𝐻𝑖𝑠 𝑐𝑢𝑟𝑠𝑒, 𝐻𝑖𝑠 𝑑𝑖𝑠𝑒𝑎𝑠𝑒
"It's getting harder each day, so much harder. It drains me to have to constantly put up a mask, hiding how I really feel behind a smile that isn't even true. I don't think I'll ever find that easy, because it's not. The easy part for me is lying, it always has been. Telling them I'm fine always works. But the hardest thing... the hardest thing is realising that no one hears my pleads, my cries and my screams... leaving me to fix my broken mind." ~~ Cooper Bryan is a young boy living with his mother in California, he lost his brother and father when he was 7 and now, his mother is moving on, she's getting remarried. From bullying, to awful step brothers, to having monsters in his head, Cooper fears he won't make it through his teenage years... but he's surviving... and he's doing it damn well too. This... this is his story, with many ups and a million downs, this... this is Cooper Bryan's troubled life. ~~ DISCLAIMER: I do not own any photos/Videos or songs used in this Wattpad story. They were either found on google or YouTubeTerminé
Icarus
Summary: This story is about an incredible unique autistic girl and her two equally incredible best friends. Will they ever get out of the friend zone? A little taste of the story: Is it a sin to love someone too much? To say I miss her is an understatement. I can't eat. Can't sleep. Can't function. She is constantly on my mind as she dwelled herself deep inside my heart. My heart aches for her. Every time I think of her, I smile but my heart hurts like hell because she lives far away. Too far. Sometimes all I can do is lie in bed and hope to fall asleep before I fall apart. Is it wrong to love someone this deeply at such an early age? I have inappropriate thoughts about her...about us. Not, as we are presently but grown up as adults. I'm jealous of my twin brother because he wants to take her from me. I can't let go of what's making me sad because its also the only thing that makes me happy. Her. I cannot lose her, because if I do, I will lose my best friend, my smile, my heart, my soul mate, my everything. If it is a sin, I don't think I want to be forgiven because I truly believe that God has sent her into my life to give me something to fight for, to show me there is love in this world, to give me hope and to bring me joy. All the proof I need in God is in her. She is a gift from heaven." ⚠️WARNING ⚠️ * language *drugs & alcohol * violence *assault & rape *nudity & sexTerminé
The Night Sky is in Her Veins
// s o n d e r \\ - "the realisation that each random passerby is living a life as vivid and complex as your own" Life can be dark, cold and lonely. Feeling betrayed, misunderstood, chewed up and spat out by the world, its when I get sonder, that I realise I might not be as alone as I thought. This is my autobiography, in a series of harsh and delicate words, painted as a story. Includes drugs, sex, alcoholism, depression, anxiety, self harm, suicidal tendencies, assault and other hard topics, so read at your own discretion. THIS IS THE TRIGGER WARNING. I wrote it, with the intention that, if there are people in the world who feel alone and misunderstood just like me, and can benefit in any way by relating to my stories in my poems, then I have done at least one thing right. Highest rankings: #1 in poetry 07/05/2021 #1 in poetry 26/11/2021 #1 in slampoetry 07/05/2021 #1 in sonder 08/05/2021 #1 in sonder 06/12/2021 #2 in slampoetry 25/11/2021 #2 in slampoetry 01/12/2021 #2 in slampoetry 06/12/2021 #2 in sonder 27/11/2021 #2 in sonder 01/12/2021 #3 in slampoetry 06/07/2021 #3 in sonder 30/09/2021 #3 in sonder 25/11/2021 #3 in sonder 11/12/2021 #4 in slampoetry 24/11/2021 #4 in slampoetry 03/01/2022 #5 in melancholy #6 in sadness #11 in poetry #11 in alcoholism #21 in smokingTerminé
Suffer
Everyone suffers no matter how much we think we're alone, there maybe someone out there more disconnected from the rest of the world. If you had the power to help the other and didn't take it does that make you a bad person? If you had one chance to correct the world would you take it? If you were given one power what would it be? No matter what choice you make it will come haunting back to you. The good the bad there's a fine line between what people perceive as good and bad it's up to you to decide that.Terminé
poetry
trigger warning. dont expect you to read this, words are simply that. just words. but if you do i hope you enjoy 👍 and if you relate to any of these, im so sorry. (all of these are original and written by me unless its said otherwise) might also include random rambles and/or thoughts or maybe even quotes (sorry again abt this)
Behind every mean girl...there's a tragedy
The average human being spends every second of his day fighting against the force of nature to see another day. But I'm different. I'm not afraid of outside forces to take my life away - only myself. Approximately 10 years ago, something happened to me. Something really bad. But I'm not allowed to talk about it. As a way to release my frustration, I give hell to my body and everyone I come in contact with - especially my parents. No one knows about what happened except the ones who did it...and Him. But he didn't stay. Now, he's back and he's not talking either. I want to stop hurting, I need to stop. Make me stop.Terminé
The leaving 11 years on on going stopped up dating for a awhile
The leaving. It was hard, tragic , painful, yet it had to be done, I needed to save my life. I didn't want to start again, this would be the story of finding myself, pulling myself back together, reuniting the happy go lucky youngster I had once been. The shock of leaving took more of a toll on me than I thought it would. I had asked two people to help me move out of the house I had shared with my partner for 8 years, we had been together 23 years in total. The move was done in total secrecy, my partner could never know in advance, it was a very scary time. I had moved various things out of the house and secured a rent on a property nearby. The house I picked was near the School the children went to, and my oldest lad was going to be near his best friend. My Mother told me of the property it was advertised on the web, we both went and had a look, even that was scary, I didn't want to be seen by anyone and became paranoid that I would be caught out. For many months I lived on a new kind of fear, the fear of someone finding out that I planned to leave my abusive partner, though of course no one knew my seemingly happy, funny, generous partner was abusive. Finding the house was one thing, getting the various companies to connect the house and exchanging the information of my current address so they could varify that I was, who I said I was almost drove me mad. The day came to leave, My Mother and a very dear Friend came round as early as possible, we packed as much as we could. This included taking the boys clothes, bedding, toys, stuff from the garden, my stuff. We had 3 cars the packing seem to take all day. By the end we had to get going to be able to unpack, leaving me time to pick up the boys from School and settle them in their new home. I couldn't do it at first,I started to cry then scream, to leave the world I had put so much of my life into, and now in a split second would be leaving was breaking my heart.Terminé
Someone New ✓
"There comes a point where you no longer care if there's a light at the end of the tunnel or not. You're just sick of the tunnel." - Who I am doesn't matter. How I got here doesn't matter. What matters now is I'm getting help, right? That's what they tell me here. They tell me that the road to recovery feels like a terrible butt fuck, but the fact that you're on the path to begin with, is all that matters. So as I sit in this circle of fuck ups, I realize just how different I am from them. I didn't attempt suicide because my mother was a crack addict who didn't want me. My father wasn't abusive. I didn't have a sibling die in a car accident. I was never really bullied either. I attempted suicide because, for the first time in years, I thought I had found something that could make me feel again... and after not feeling much at all for far too long, perhaps I went a bit overboardTerminé
Walking into an empty house is normal to me. I guess I got tired of saying 'I'm home' when nobody is home to reply. It wasn't always like this. I remember when our family was close. Now we don't see each other any more. We don't talk to each other. We don't eat with each other. We don't ACKNOWLEDGE each other. This all happened after my 'Mother' killed herself. My father blames me. This is my story about how I learned to not count on anyone else but myself. I'm broken. I'm used. No one can fix me. But when the New Boy in town tries to fix me, everything will change. Good change or Bad change, I don't know. Only time will tell. I want to enter this story in the #Wattys2015 please help me out and vote and comment on my story. I'll really appreciate it!!! #Wattys2015 COPYRIGHTED © 2014 BY Anallely ALL RIGHTS RESERVED ®
Plus d’InfosDirectives du Contenu