The Heart's Confession

I gave him my heart and he ripped it out like it was nothing. Okay, maybe I'm being a little dramatic but I'm still mourning. He didn't have to treat me like that or even humiliate me. He could have declined like the others...Instead he tried to prove a point. He was only using me for his benefit to prove he's not...

Whatever--I don't need him. I have a Prince Charming out there. He's tall, dark, and handsome...or short, pale, and average. Whatever he may be, I'll love him and he'll love me. He'll love my curly, brown hair and dark brown eyes. He'll love the way I laugh at my own stupid jokes and how I crave vanilla ice cream too much. He'll love how I enjoy reading comic books and watching old cartoons. He'll love how I whine about my faults and mistakes, only to tell me how wonderful I am.

Tyler Murphy doesn't have a leash on me! I'm strong, damn it...Or am I just in denial? I could be, you know. I still think about him and daydream about the life we'll never have. I still get jealous when he gives other people attention, the simple type I crave from a love interest. I still hope that one day, he'll just appear at my doorstep and say, "I'm sorry--I do love you and I am so foolish for denying my true feelings."

I know he feels the same for me but he can't admit it to himself. I wish he would be as brave as he is with his friends to do a silly dare. I never got to see that side of him. He's so fucking afraid to let me see his true side. I just don't get it. We kissed like kids do in movies. I'm serious--it was perfect. My eighteenth birthday ended with a sweet kiss from him by the lake across town. The lake I first laid eyes on him...The lake where we shared secret swims at night.

Gosh, I'm stupid. How could I be so naive? I let myself let go...and for what? A dimpled smile? Those green sparkling eyes? His touch..?

There's no possible way my young adult fantasy will ever come true...

I guess that's what you get for falling in love with a straight boy.