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WpMetadataNoticeLast published Sat, Feb 27, 2016
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Poetry
"Are you happy?" is such a difficult question. I always said yes, because I have friends. I laugh at jokes. I go out alot and have fun. my life isn't as bad as it could be, and I don't have terrible problems. It could be worse. But then, one night at 3 am when I'm alone but still awake, lying in bed, thinking about life, I find myself crying my heart out. Suddenly I convince myself that no one likes me, or that nobody ever will. I feel horrible and question everything I had. And I start to wonder if i was ever happy at all.
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Sometimes when I say "I'm okay", I want someone to look me in the eyes, hug me tight and say, "I know you're not". I have felt like this many times in my life; as a kid, teenager and as an adult. I have seen many things in my life and felt even more things that has been horribly depressing... But I got up. I stood up to walk on for another day. I dealt with my emotional amnesia the only way I knew I could and that was by writing it out into poetry. I wanted to forget my pain and forget what I was going through. I needed that cut of the blade or a pill to drink to take everything away. My poetry became both my pill and my blade... Now I share the most intimate part of myself with the world. The part of me I kept hidden in the closet. The part I never thought I would ever present to the world. Now is the time I have to stop having amnesia about my emotions. It is time to learn, to better myself and to stand up and remember the things that I shut out like a voluntary amnesia all these years. Those who are offended after reading this - f**k you! If you are sad with me and willing to cut your wrist - I know how you feel! If you just enjoy the words - I love you! #679 in Poetry on 17/03/2018 #779 in Poetry on 18/03/2018 #807 in Poetry on 19/03/2018 #474 in Poetry on 22/03/2018

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