My Brother Is My Lover?

My name is y/n . Im 17 years old . Senior in High School . And I live with my mom , grandma , and my older brother Derek . I hate him , we hate each other , but living with a mom and grandmother that cares for us so much , we have to act as if we like each other . I've always wanted an older brother to look over me , check on me and you know stand up for me when needed . I would love that type of relationship with my brother .. But once i expressed that to him , he took it a whole 'nother way and wanted to be my lover instead of my 'brother' .