Hello, Gravity...

Just a thing...idk

I fall back onto my bed, lying flat on my back, the ceiling spinning above me. I see faces and names and numbers and colours spiraling above me in the darkness, not knowing what's real and what isn't anymore...and then I sleep. I'm no longer hot and sticky, weighed down by gravity. I'm weightless in a sea of nothing and everything and thoughtless thoughtfulness. Emotion bleeds from me and yet I freely feel nothing, even as I bleed. I feel sick to my stomach and yet it's somehow comforting because I know that I'm somehow still alive in this everything of nothingness that has swallowed me whole, leaving no trace of me, and yet I'm somehow still here. The blaring colours and numbers, words and faces, names and memories, they're all grey now, washed out and faded into an unrecognisable and intangible state, not allowing me to enjoy anything anymore. I float, free and chained, and everything inside me wants to scream and fight but at the same time wants to fall silent and die into nothingness and suddenly I don't even feel weightless anymore. I can't escape the things that weigh me down, or what I've done, or who I am... So I curl up. So I fall silent. So I die.

And then I wake up, grounded. Gravity...hello, old friend.