Does My existance matter
- Reads 240
- Votes 50
- Parts 11
MatureOngoing29m
Last published Mon, Apr 24, 2017
"What exists after Death?", I asked myself, the smell of death had become more and more apparent with each day that had come and gone within one breath. "Whatever it is, it can't be worse than living" I answered myself. I knew however that I had answered that question a few weeks back but something was holding me back. was it him? Could this stranger that forced himself into my life have been the reason why the string my life hung by remained intact? Or was I waiting for the string to snap and plunge me into death's waiting arms? I repeated my answer, this time a little louder so my heart could hear it, "nothing is worse than living."
We get to see the life of someone who is bullied through their eyes.. she takes us on a journey as we experience her pain, laughter,suicidal thoughts and hate.
Yet through all that she remains quiet and shuts the whole world out but little does she know..she is killing herself.
All Rights Reserved
Join the largest storytelling communityGet personalized story recommendations, save your favourites to your library, and comment and vote to grow your community.
You may also like
![The Trouble with Trust [COMPLETED]](https://img.wattpad.com/cover/240554796-256-k368525.jpg)
The Trouble with Trust [COMPLETED]
I'm about to tell you a story about a girl. A normal girl. A girl that had no cares in the world, until her trust for it was stripped away. When you read her story, you'll find yourself trusting her, loving her, rooting for her. But you see, not everyone gets to trust the world. Not everyone has a happy ending. --- Halfway through the kiss however, his attitude changed; instead of being a loving embrace, it became a fierce trap. His grip on her waist tightened, trapped her where she was instead of simply holding her where he wanted her. The hand in her hair grabbed a section of it, enforcing his demand for her not to go anywhere. Before she knew what was happening, he left go of her hair, and pushed her to the ground. She gasped, suddenly able to breathe. He stood up and walked over to her. He placed a soft hand on her cheek, just like he used to when he was telling her how special she was to him. None of the emotion was there this time however, all she could feel radiating from his was rage. "You shouldn't have run off, babe," he said bitterly. "I was about to show you how much I loved you. Instead, I now have to show you what happens when you anger me." --- The men regarded her, before she was shoved to the ground and one produced a whip. There, laying broken on the floor, as the other girls watched, she was whipped. Slowly, she felt her skin breaking in time with her heart and her will.Complete
Finding Purpose (+18) ✔️
***this book contains suicidal thoughts and tendencies, may not be appropriate for younger audiences*** In which she looks for the purpose of life. Lily Carter's parents died in a car crash leaving her and Laura, girl was depressed long before her parents passed away and with all the problems turning up now, Lily felt more miserable - if that's even possible. With her journey to look for life's purpose and grab the small pinch of HOPE - which is ironically her second name -, will she finally snap at the pressure and finally end it all? or will a small light lit her darkened world of grief and loneliness? * "So you know. The little goth girl who gets bullied is indeed a mess. There's this mess in her head that eats her alive everyday isn't it? What to do now Kaden? Tell the whole neighborhood and recieve an award for taking out a crazy in this world?" I spit like vomit. His eyes warmed up as I finished, "Lily. It isn't like that" "What is it then? People stopped caring... they gave up, why aren't you?" I fought my tears. "Because I feel the need to care. Did Leigh hurt you? Did she hit you?" he finally noticed the unusual redness of my cheek. I don't like the way he told me he needed to care for me. I felt like an obligation, a responsibility that he is carrying and carrying leads to getting tired and when people gets tired, they give up. I don't want them to give up on me. But they will, so it's good not to make them care for me in the first place. "I never needed anyone. I stopped needing anyone before, why start now?" I uttered the words again. Why? There is nothing to fight for. No mama. No papa. No sister to love me. No one. So why would I waste my life and the time of others to fix what is already broken - and someone who doesn't want to be fixed? If I may add. Maybe I gave up. No, scratch that. I gave up a long time ago - when my parents died, my hope and purpose went away with them.Complete
Tired of Lies
*(COMPLETED) "The worst thing about being lied to is knowing you weren't worth the truth." He bit his lip. "I wanted to te-" His eyes began to water and as a single tear fell he looked at me and said "but what if you've been lying for so long you don't know how to tell the truth?" "I have and so will you." He shook his head, shut his eyes, and leaned his forehead against the glass. "And here I was thinking you would admit that you don't tell the truth either." I gripped the telephone as my knuckles turned white. "What do you mean?" "Come on Zoey I've seen you sneaking around acting like you're busy. You're hiding something and you won't tell me." All Zoey Campbell ever wanted to do was keep her head down and get through high school. Too bad it isn't that easy. Zoey is tired of everything and everyone. She is tired of being pushed around and tired of watching in the shadows. She is tired of pretending to like that girl that doesn't even know her name. Tired of pretending that she is ok when she isn't. She is constantly hoping for a better way out thinking she should just disappear. All she wants to do is scream but no matter how loud she screams no one can hear her. Don't worry things just get worse. Everyone thinks she's a "sick" girl and just another suicide case waiting to happen. I mean what kind of girl sits by herself everyday right? Zoey is running out of time and she thinks no one has tried to help her until her "special" speech in class. No one really cares about what she really thinks anyway. It just that feeling of pity. Everyone thinks she really is sick but she knows she's not. But what if she is? Maybe all it takes is that one thing to make her snap. As her life gets thrown into chaos and deep dark secrets she can't help but try to figure out the truth. Will she find a way to let her new friends save her or will she just end up as another suicide case? *Disclaimer wrote this in 2017 when I was 14.Complete
Thank you for your Love..
All the person that i used to love, just made me believe that Love can't make your world go round. You'll witness chapters of my life. How to find love. How to hold love. And how to let go of love. ----------------------------- I met Hayden on one of our school activity. We dated and love each other so much. But he left for Australia to continue his college. I broke up with him because i don't want to be in a long distance relationship.We promised to each other that we'll be making each others life. After few years, i fall in love with Michael. His been the rock and my strength that time. I forced myself to move on about Hayden. Until Hayden came back. "I want you back Tiff." Hayden softly said. I froze and started to dig the thoughts on my mind. I still want him and love him, but i have Michael now. My past that made my life complete or my present that became my rock through the down times? If i let him in my life again, will he stay for me? will he never leave me?Complete
The Boy Who Lived Again (boyxboy) (COMPLETED)
What if you committed suicide one day. After just one horrible day that set you off. You know, the bullies and the mean classmates who want to help but don't. And your crush refuses to help you one night. What if another woke up months later with no memory? You don't know who you are, nothing seems familiar. All you know is that something draws you to a boy who died months ago right before school ended. A lot of people care that he is dead, they feel responsible. Another boy catches your attention and you can't help but feel something for him. What if he's the answer to your problem but he won't talk about the dead boy? What if he does? Can you win over his trust and figure things out or will meeting him awaken something in you, you may or may not have known? or seen coming...Complete
The Suicide Equation
For the last month I've had nothing but dark thoughts. I finally decided to speak to someone about it. I went to Mr.Harn and told him everything. All he did was hold me and bring me to the schools councilor. He told her the story I was able to utter. She called my mother and arranged for me to be put into therapy. I spoke with her for half an hour. "You've been through way to much for a girl your age!" She said in astonishment. "I know." I replied. "How are you alive?" She asked with both worry and curiosity. "I honestly don't know." I spoke the truth. How am I still alive?Complete
The Accidental Love
A love story started with an accident. He loved him but didn't know how to tell him. He writes it down in his diary but didn't get the chance to give it to him. ************ It's been 2 years, and he is still in a coma. He still doesn't know how I feel. Every day I just thought if I will ever be able to tell him that how much I regret teasing him. How much I regret that I'm not the one laying here but him. ************** Hello everyone. It's a "boys love" story. If you are not comfortable with it then please don't read. I have done my duty and gave you an alert. Now if you don't want to read it, it's your loss. This story is full of fun and only fun. It will be an awesome but sweet love story. For further stirring occasionally stay tuned. love you all.Complete
Parasitic relationship
Parasitic relationship - one in which one organism, the parasite, lives off of another organism, the host, harming it and possibly causing death. A girl who not many people liked. A girl who was always bullied by others. A girl who was always sick. A girl who was so skinny she was unattractive. The only person in the world who truly cared for her and protected her was her father. But he soon met his demise. All of a sudden, she came across a handsome and attractive young man who worked under a funeral parlour who was really kind and caring and was there to support her. Even she didn't know why, but she was glad he was there for her. To support her. Something even her own friends couldn't do... But of course, like her, he was simply an emotional teenager as well. And as time passed by, he started to fall for her. Except, she saw him as a danger to her. Especially if they ended up in a relationship. It was better to avoid this. But you just can't avoid the media and insecure teenagers, can you? You can't avoid all those manic girls who are out there to get you, can you? With all these lies and rumours that spread...Was he really someone who was there to support her or there to ruin her life?
Broken ✓ (BoyxBoy)
"Wait, you're gay?" I asked in confusion, scratching the back of my head. "Well duh. How oblivious are you?" "Well, I guess I'm pretty dumb, but my sexiness makes up for it." "Sure Hunter, whatever helps you sleep at night..." *** [Completed] Hunter just moved to a small city in Florida after his third suicide attempt, being forced to live with his aunt. After his first day at his new school, he has the whole football team hating him with his smart remarks, except for one quarterback who takes an interest in him. With his new therapist, his annoying aunt, and the hell hole he calls school, will Hunter be able to make it through the rest of high school, or will he forever be broken? --- This story contains romance between two boys. If you're not okay with that then I suggest you leave. I'm gonna go ahead and add a trigger warning, for suicidal themes, cutting, etc... Fair warning, this story is really poorly written. It's filled with plot holes, grammar errors, and everything else under the sun that makes a bad story. It pains me to reread it but it's like my own writing history so I don't want to take it down. It was written when I was 12, if that says anything, so keep that in mind before you read it! *** Highest rankings: 07/10/20 | #5 in Humor 02/09/20 | #5 in BxB 06/22/19 | #4 in SuicideAwareness 05/21/20 | #3 in GayLove 04/12/20 | #3 in UnlimitedPride 10/06/19 | #1 in Sarcasm 08/09/19 | #1 in GayFiction 08/17/19 | #1 in GayAf 09/28/19 | #1 in FreeTheLgbt 11/28/19 | #1 in TeenFiction 02/12/20 | #1 in Gayness --- Completed on 5/30/19Complete
the suicide mind
"and you left me with bad habits like cracking my knuckles and wearing your sweater because the smell of you still lingers. you left me chewing at the skin of my skin on my lips because maybe just maybe if it's gone the taste of you will be too, but the problem is i can't tear off my skin. so i'm left with the shivers down my spine when my body remembers your hands running up my back as you kissed me and it paralyzes me because i miss it. i miss you. i miss smiling between kisses because damn you just made me happy and I thought I made you just as happy because you would smile and whisper "what" but i would just shake my head and pull you close and it was real. it was. all of it. so why did you leave me? why?"Complete
I'm about to tell you a story about a girl. A normal girl. A girl that had no cares in the world, until her trust for it was stripped away. When you read her story, you'll find yourself trusting her, loving her, rooting for her. But you see, not everyone gets to trust the world. Not everyone has a happy ending. --- Halfway through the kiss however, his attitude changed; instead of being a loving embrace, it became a fierce trap. His grip on her waist tightened, trapped her where she was instead of simply holding her where he wanted her. The hand in her hair grabbed a section of it, enforcing his demand for her not to go anywhere. Before she knew what was happening, he left go of her hair, and pushed her to the ground. She gasped, suddenly able to breathe. He stood up and walked over to her. He placed a soft hand on her cheek, just like he used to when he was telling her how special she was to him. None of the emotion was there this time however, all she could feel radiating from his was rage. "You shouldn't have run off, babe," he said bitterly. "I was about to show you how much I loved you. Instead, I now have to show you what happens when you anger me." --- The men regarded her, before she was shoved to the ground and one produced a whip. There, laying broken on the floor, as the other girls watched, she was whipped. Slowly, she felt her skin breaking in time with her heart and her will.
More detailsContent Guidelines