Anamazing journey
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- Parts 10
Ongoing5m
Last published Thu, Oct 29, 2015
This is a story about my day to day life having to deal with my eating disorder. This will include the highs and lows and hopefully follow me on my road to recovery :)
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I've Got It Under Control
Jules is forced to live a life in the psychiatric ward after her eating disorder nearly ends up taking her life. Stuck in a life that is contained within four walls, while she fights her battle with an eating disorder and depression, trying to gain control of the demanding voice in her head. Finally having to admit that she can't do it herself and faces vulnerability by doing so. She endures love and heartbreak but only she can save herself. Will Jules recover and finally be free of the voice that has become the burden of her life? ~ I've Got It Under Control That's what she thought. That's what they all think when it first starts. They had control, had, past tense. Now they wish they did. Their bodies are screaming for help but their head is saying otherwise. Hunger coursed through Jules's body, the rumble of her stomach was like a thunderstorm, violent and painful. It scared her, yet it also satisfied her. She started to skip breakfast, and once she realised she didn't need breakfast, she knew she wouldn't need lunch nor dinner. ~TW: Goes into depth about eating disorders, mentions about suicide and self harm. View at your own risk~Complete
It was under control
Jules Hart returns to the psychiatric ward, her life has fallen apart once again. She had it under control. Or was it all just her imagination? She encounters trials and tribulations with her eating disorder recovery, being forced into situations like no other; ending in painful repercussions and unhealthy coping mechanisms. After deciding she no longer wants help, Jules escapes the psychiatric ward; resulting in her attempting to take her own life. The consequence of her actions, broke Tom's heart in the process, all the while he held her sick body. Her life has led her down the path of having to recover from not only the torturous eating disorder, but the addictive self harm and torment of the suicidal ideation. Let's just hope Jules gets her happy ending... ~ "GET OFF ME! GET THE HELL OFF ME! I DON'T LIKE BEING TOUCHED! GET THE FUCK OFF ME. TOM PLEASE HELP ME. TOM! PLEASE GET THEM OFF ME. I'M SO SCARED!" Jules's fragile body was making a forceful connection with the cold and unsympathetic ground. Her bloodline exiting and tainting her body and all of the surroundings. Her painful and emotional screams echoed the white corridor, while Jules's body shook and shivered, and dizzy spells with blurry covered eyes; forced her body and mind to experience a feeling of disconnection. The fit of fear that swirled in the pit of Jules's stomach made her head jolt violently side to side, along with front and back; causing her forehead to strike the floor. ~TW: Eating disorder, suicide and self harm mentioned throughout~Complete
Behind every mean girl...there's a tragedy
The average human being spends every second of his day fighting against the force of nature to see another day. But I'm different. I'm not afraid of outside forces to take my life away - only myself. Approximately 10 years ago, something happened to me. Something really bad. But I'm not allowed to talk about it. As a way to release my frustration, I give hell to my body and everyone I come in contact with - especially my parents. No one knows about what happened except the ones who did it...and Him. But he didn't stay. Now, he's back and he's not talking either. I want to stop hurting, I need to stop. Make me stop.Complete
Struggling with an Ed
TW For the whole book!!! This is just a book of what goes through my mind as someone with an undiagnosed eating disorder :)Complete
A Lovely Life
Journey with me back in time as I rewrite the first Journal I kept from when I was in high school, and see that maybe even with how horrible life is most of the times, there are little things spread throughout that make life worth living. My high school experience was full of drama, tears, laughter, and most of all constant search of love, and approval of the people around me. I can't always get what I want in this world. Life is a beautiful mess. It's not perfect, and filled with a lot of disappointments, and heartbreak. There are moments when it all feels too much, but there's not much we can do other than go with the flow of things.Complete
The Twisted Mind
"I felt as if I didn't belong, And I felt as if i'm not sick enough" Alfie struggles with the concept of food. He loves it, he hates it and just wants to find peace with it and within himself. He wants to make up with his body, his mind but he's lost all control so he's finding it hard to live. Alfie Hailo, a 16 year old swimmer, has been struggling with food since the age of 13. His parents put him in dance class when he was 6 but he was getting bullied as he got older, so decided to quit and choose a more 'masculine' sport.His father also left the family home 2 years prior and has been struggling to understand why. He has amazing friends, and an amazing family who love and care for him dearly but, he doesn't feel this. He feels like he has to be perfect. With the pressure of school, and having to keep up to the social norms of a professional swimmer, it's hard for Alfie to concentrate. He needs the help. And to do this, Alvin helps. Alvin helps him find his worth, take control, and makes his life easier, or so he seems. His best friends, Killian and Ruby, know Alfie inside and out. They know his family life, school life. And this is because Alfie is a simple person. He has never had a detention, nor has he been expelled. He's a straight A student with no history of alcohol or drug abuse. Will they suspect anything? How will Alfie proceed with his excruciating pain. Will he cover it up or will he find the courage to speak up and seek help?Complete
The Day I Met Ana
Hi, my name is Anorexia. Ana for short. I'm here to tell a story. A story of struggle, family issues, and most of all, losing. At the moment I'm quite friendless and time will unfold that story but for now I have a question. Would you like to be my friend? I promise I'm nothing like they say. But I have to warn you, you must do everything I say.Complete
Abigail
(In editing) She's depressed. She's anorexic. She's suicidal. She's insecure. Abigail has grown up with her three brothers and James, never meeting her parents, who abandoned her at birth. Her brothers were left to take care of her and keep a roof over their heads. Everyday they struggle to take care of Abigail, while working to keep them in their home. Life for them is hard. Life for Abigail is even harder. She has a dark mind and not by choice. Somewhere along the way she's developed these feelings of loneliness and hopelessness. Everyday is a struggle for her and just getting out of bed is a success. She meets Zach, a bad boy with a bad reputation. He starts off as a tutor, just to help her out, out of pity. But eventually feelings get involved and Abigail finds herself liking a boy for the first time in her life. Things get serious and she somehow learns about his drug dealing business. Everything gets hectic and Abigail doesn't know what to do with her life anymore. Or if she even wants to live.Complete
Dear Ana,
"I fell into darkness but I didn't mind, I liked it." Amy Adams thought everything was alright, but when she heard her very best friend Rose committed suicide, her world turned upside down. Amy couldn't understand, why? But Amy found Rose's diary at her wake and everything became clear. Rose was anorexic. Rose wrote about her two guardians Ana and Mia, they helped her, or something. Amy didn't understand a thing, but not for long. Because Amy would also meet her fate with the two angels of death. Just like Rose. Amy has a hard time fitting in after her only connection to a social life left her alone. Amy get's lost and tries to save herself. But how can you pull yourself out of a hole where you can't see the edge? Amy does make new friends and she even falls in love but everything is on the verge of falling apart. How does she plan on keeping her 'new habit' a secret? and when will Amy really understand?Complete
healing is not linear - A Memoir by Frances Edelstein
FINAL VERSION NOW AVAILABLE ON AMAZON: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0846QJQ86?ref=knfdg_R_twm_yes No one's life is perfect--and mine is no different. On the outside, you might see me as a young woman that was raised in the most perfect life; both parents, an upper-middle-class home, a safe neighborhood. This is all true, yes, but the worst of my struggles were things that many people didn't see: my mental health. In this book, I share all my struggles with my eating disorder, anxiety, depression, and the things that go along with it. My goal in writing this is letting you know that you, the reader, are never alone. There are people like me that care about you, that understand how hard it can be. Hopefully this book with give you clarity about some things you've been dealing with, and maybe give you some peace of mind and directions on how to navigate through these hard times. Please, keep fighting. We need you. Much love!Complete
Jules is forced to live a life in the psychiatric ward after her eating disorder nearly ends up taking her life. Stuck in a life that is contained within four walls, while she fights her battle with an eating disorder and depression, trying to gain control of the demanding voice in her head. Finally having to admit that she can't do it herself and faces vulnerability by doing so. She endures love and heartbreak but only she can save herself. Will Jules recover and finally be free of the voice that has become the burden of her life? ~ I've Got It Under Control That's what she thought. That's what they all think when it first starts. They had control, had, past tense. Now they wish they did. Their bodies are screaming for help but their head is saying otherwise. Hunger coursed through Jules's body, the rumble of her stomach was like a thunderstorm, violent and painful. It scared her, yet it also satisfied her. She started to skip breakfast, and once she realised she didn't need breakfast, she knew she wouldn't need lunch nor dinner. ~TW: Goes into depth about eating disorders, mentions about suicide and self harm. View at your own risk~
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