If I could change everything...(read first)

If I could change everything...(read first)

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WpMetadataReadMatureComplete Mon, Sep 28, 2015<5 mins
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hi my name is rose I wont say my real name its better like that I wanted to say what if you could reverse change your life would you? I dont know I have this thought everyday cause my life isn't perfect and am not afraid to admit it cause whatever people often see me as this girl who's shy and unemotional and just stares ive been alone for years only at home with the people I love I can actually be me all the friends ive had over the years ive never could be me ive been bullied called ugly and fat but am so use to it thats were I look so unemotional I have trust issuses and depression stress anixenity I know thats spelled wrong but yeah ive only met one person out there who I can relate too in school kairi she was alone she always drew to keep her busy I use too do that too when I met her she was this great girl beautiful I don't get why anyone would bully her but they did we got closer and closer and begin to show more of us to the point she became my sister bestie she told about her
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"I smile everyday. I live my life like nothing is wrong with me. No one would ever guess that I'm screaming inside or that I've secretly been hiding this huge part of my life. No one would ever know that I cry myself to sleep at night or that deep down I'm starving for help." Welcome to Anorexia. Your hostess is Ana. She'll take over from here. Suffering alone inside of your mind from a terrifying mental disorder, is something that even those who battle such a thing every day, cannot fully understand. It's like being alone 24/7 yet it's never quiet inside of your head. You can't stop the voices. You can't control your emotions. As it gets worse, you lose control of your body all together. You become prey to your disease and You can't fight back. That is what it's like for someone who has spent years of their life suffering in silence from an eating disorder. Fighting a monster that you have no chance of beating. It's almost impossible to describe the type of torture that consumes your mind. Hell. It's equivalent to pure hell.

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