Married To A Duggar

As I boarded the plane, I thought of all the years I'd lived on the Earth.
They had been the best of my life.
But the world was ending.
Billions of lives were already lost.
My family and I were few of the survivors.
Besides us, there were only five families left.
As the jet took off, the vampires terrorized the city.
And then the werewolves came.
~
Three weeks later, I had found new happiness.
I was getting married.
"Joseph Duggar, do you take Oletha Long to be your lawfully wedded wife?" asked the priest.
"I do." I answered.
"And Oletha Long, do you take Joseph Duggar to be your lawfully wedded husband?"
"I do." Oletha answered.
My new wife and I exchanged rings.
"You may now kiss the bride." the priest said.
Oletha and I happily complied.
Althea's cousin was not the least bit pleased.
"Le!" she said, stomping up to the alter.
"What's wrong, Laur?" Oletha asked.
"How could you possibly marry a Duggar...and not ask me to be in your bridal party?!"
"I did." Oletha said.
"What?" Lauren asked, confused.
"You didn't get the note card?" Oletha asked.
"No, I didn't." Lauren answered.
"Darn! Gertrude was supposed to give it to you! Gertrude!" Oletha said, walking off.
From several feet away, I could hear their conversation.
Oletha: Gertrude! Why didn't you give Lauren her note card? That had all the information on it!
Gertrude: Den da infarmayshun was deelishuss.
Oletha: What?
Gertrude: What kynd of soss did you'z yooze?
Oletha: Gertrude, did you eat the note card?
Gertrude: Well, obveeussly. What did you'z think I'z was tryeeng to says?
Oletha facepalmed and walked back over to Lauren and I.
"She ate the note card." Oletha said.
"We heard." Lauren said.
~
A few months after the wedding, Oletha and I were blessed to know she was pregnant.
"I can't believe this is happening, sweetie." Oletha said.
"I know. This is wonderful." I said, kissing my wife.
In eight months, we would become parents.