Depression//Phan - ella - Wattpad

Depression//Phan

Reads 6,662
Votes 162
Parts 19
Time 1h 35m

Reads 6,662
Votes 162
Parts 19
Time 1h 35m

Mature

danandphil danandphilfanfiction danhowell danhowellandphillester danisnotonfire depression fanfiction howell lester phanfic phanfiction philanddan phillester sad upsetting

(tw: s*lf-h*rm, mentions of s*lf-h*rm, d*pr*ss*d scenes. May be triggering for some. Read at your own limit, please!)

Phil Lester, a boy who's falling into depression slowly. And soon, his depression may end up falling to deep.

He gets hateful and rude comments on his videos that he posts to YouTube. He even gets hate on Twitter, Facebook, and Tumblr. What did he ever do to them?

What did he do to deserve any of this??

His flatmate Dan doesn't know about Phil's depression, however. All he knows (thinks, rather) is that his best friend is staying strong through all of the hateful things he gets from people. 

But in reality, that's not what Phil is doing at all. 

He's not staying strong through the hate. He's just faking the smile for Dan so he wouldn't get so worried about him. Sure, Dan might be able to crack some real smiles out of him once in a while, but not every time. He also wears long sleeves and thick bracelets to hide the scars of his pain. He acts like his normal quirky, adorable, funny, weird self when making YouTube videos, when around his friends and family, when having a meet-up with fans (or just being around them in general), when out in public, etc. Phil hadn't told anyone at all about his depression. And he probably wouldn't anytime soon, either. His fans didn't know, his friends didn't know, his family didn't know, Dan didn't know... nobody knew.

But one day, would people push him over his limit?

Would Dan be able to save him in time?

© 2016 by bluetroyee. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.All Rights Reserved

danandphil danandphilfanfiction danhowell danhowellandphillester danisnotonfire depression fanfiction howell lester phanfic phanfiction philanddan phillester sad upsetting

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19 parts

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How to Help Howell? by fiercephandom

Dan is struggling with his self confidence. Well, let's be honest. Dan has no self confidence and struggles to face the harsh realities of life and the pessimistic thoughts and voices that inhabit and nag his brain constantly. Phil tries to help his friend to realize that he really isn't as much as a monster as he thinks of himself to be. These two friends embark on a journey of love, hate, discovery, and confusion. And will they even still be friends by the end of the journey? Will Dan's turmoil break apart their friendship or turn it into something more? Dan and Phil try to answer to the burning question, How to Help Howell? WARNING: Some of this story may be triggering, so if you're sensitive to depressing topics and/or thoughts, gay slurs, mentions of eating disorders, and self harm, this may not be the story for you, which is perfectly fine. Read at your own risk! In case you didn't know, this is Dan Howell and Phil Lester fanfiction. If you haven't heard of them, then go check out their YouTube channels (AmazingPhil and danisnotonfire) right now. It won't take you long to fall in love with them and once you do, come back and read the story. :)

A slim chance by noshowsiero

Two anorexia patients Two untold stories Is a slim chance really enough to survive? -------- When Dan Howell is sent to a rehab full of depressed teenage girls, will he ever be able to escape his traumatic past? It's a slim chance... until Phil Lester comes along that is. -------- please be aware that this was written a long time before it was uploaded and my writing style has changed a lot since then. I won't be rewriting this to fix any mistakes so please DONT bother pointing them out thanks and enjoy!

Outcast ✧ Phan by cuddlephan

Dan Howell has telekinesis - a power just like out of a comic book. Yet instead of protecting the universe as a brave superhero, he hides. He hides his power and himself, fearing nothing more than getting attached to somebody and dragging them down. Of course, Phil Lester, the new kid in school, just had to come waltzing in, destroying his entire view on nearly everything in the worst (and best) ways possible. Phil's like a drug, and boy, is Dan addicted. Warning: contains self harm, depression, boyxboy, references towards abuse, and other possible triggers or content you may not be comfortable with. you can message me in private for the specifics if you feel you need it and remember to stay safe. (Top: #89 in Fanfiction, #1 in Phan!)

pretend (phan) by audrat

Dan Howell was the typical spoiled, rich boy with butlers driving him to operas and maids making him nachos for breakfast. Phil Lester, however, was the opposite. Barely any money and deadbeat parents, he lives in a bad neighborhood in a gross apartment with cat hair covering the carpet and an odd roommate. And then Dan's parents decide he needs to love someone rather than himself, and when Phil shows up at his mansion steps, Dan's parents grow fond of him- so much that the two are exchanging rings and Phil is moving in with his new spouse. They tell Dan he should give it a few months, to be patient, and if he still doesn't like him then they'll sign the divorce papers and call it quits. Marriage isn't perfect, right? Well this one is the exact example. But they could always pretend.

Danny's Girl (Phan) by SmolSalmon

I've read a bunch of phan, so why not write one? Dan Howell's life couldn't be any better at the moment. He has met the most beautiful, charming, kind girl he could ever imagine, and she loves him back. Everything is perfect... but not for Phil. Phil Lester has always been in love with Dan since the first moment he first met him, but now Phil's heart is crushed. He has some suspicions of Dan's girlfriend, but Dan just brushes it off, ignoring Phil completely. Unfortunately, Phil's bad feelings may be true... Sexual content, self harm, language, and domestic abuse warning. Also, I'm American, so if I get anything wrong, please tell me. ••• Update: This is very old (not really that old) writing! It's cringy as hell, and I apologize in advance. I have fixed a few errors, so if it seems slightly different than it was before, that's why.

Moving ~ PHAN by krysiice

When Dan start school in a new place, he and Phil become friends fast. But what happens when things become to much? What happens when the only relief seems to be in harming? What happens when they start catching feelings for one another? But what happens when what Dan's been forced to do his whole life, emerges again, threatening to possibly separate them forever, especially when they need the other the most? *Contains: -fluff, smut -descriptive issues such as: self harm, abuse, suicidal thoughts PLEASE DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE EASILY TRIGGERED BY THESE THINGS stay safe *hugs*

I Am Nobody (phan) by MySecretsX

COMPLETE *** I am nobody and I'm nobody that matters. I'm alone, neglected by everyone and worthless. I want something, something crazy, something that's dangerous to get. But I will. Most would call me a psycho, but that's far from it. I'm so hurt and so full of emotion, which is exactly the reason I've decided to do this. Do what exactly? Stalk him 'til he loves me. I'm reasonably popular, I wouldn't say famous, on the internet. I have my little community and as long as I'm making someone happy, even myself, making these videos is worth it. There's this one guy, though, that's constantly trying to get my attention, and succeeding for that matter. I've been warned he's dangerous and I should take the hints and stay away, but I've never been one to listen. And, I see something in this kid, he's hurt, and I will help him. With what exactly? Whatever he wants.

My Blood, Your Bones - Phan by SweetLittlePhangirl

Young Dan Howell, who lives with his alcoholic father, lost his mother to cancer less than a year ago, and is killing himself. Phil Lester, a boy picked on for his weight, lives alone from the rest of the world in a rehab center while trying to recover from severe anorexia. When a concerned teacher suggests Dan seek help, the two lonely worlds collide. Maybe all they need for help is each other. (Rating: Mature! Very angsty! Read at your own risk! Triggers: self harm, eating disorder, suicide. A little swearing. A little smutty, a little fluffy)

deranged | phan by phanlusions

completed~~ Dan Howell is admitted into the Manchester Eye Mental Hospital after his attempted suicide. He gets roomed with a boy named Phil Lester, but he doesn't talk much. Not at all actually. Dan decides to make it his personal mission to make Phil talk, but focusing on someone all the time can make you lose yourself. ------------------------------------------ mentions of self harm, suicide, multiple mental illnesses, etc ------------------------------------------ deranged (a.) mad; insane

Forbidden Love ~ Phanfiction ~ BoyxBoy by Jessisnotonfire3

Phil's life was perfect up until a year ago when he came out to his parents. They disowned him and sent him to live with his sexually abusive Uncle. To make things worse he was forced to go to a public school and meet new people, he had little confidence and was bad at making friends. He occasionally uploaded videos to YouTube but he wasn't very well known. His videos allowed him to let his feelings out to the public, but they weren't exactly sincere. His life was falling to pieces, and it wasn't getting better any time soon. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Dan's life had always been perfect. He was popular at school, got good grades and his parents adored him. However he wasn't very good at meeting new people. How's he going to react when a new kid arrives at his school? Dan has a secret. A secret nobody knows about, not even himself. His life was perfect apart from this tiny thing that had been constantly bugging him ever since he started High School. He wouldn't reveal it would he? No. That would ruin his life completely, or would it?

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Slide 1 of 10

How to Help Howell? cover

A slim chance cover

Outcast ✧ Phan cover

pretend (phan) cover

Danny's Girl (Phan) cover

Moving ~ PHAN cover

I Am Nobody (phan) cover

My Blood, Your Bones - Phan cover

deranged | phan cover

Forbidden Love ~ Phanfiction ~ BoyxBoy cover

How to Help Howell?

Dan is struggling with his self confidence. Well, let's be honest. Dan has no self confidence and struggles to face the harsh realities of life and the pessimistic thoughts and voices that inhabit and nag his brain constantly. Phil tries to help his friend to realize that he really isn't as much as a monster as he thinks of himself to be. These two friends embark on a journey of love, hate, discovery, and confusion. And will they even still be friends by the end of the journey? Will Dan's turmoil break apart their friendship or turn it into something more? Dan and Phil try to answer to the burning question, How to Help Howell? WARNING: Some of this story may be triggering, so if you're sensitive to depressing topics and/or thoughts, gay slurs, mentions of eating disorders, and self harm, this may not be the story for you, which is perfectly fine. Read at your own risk! In case you didn't know, this is Dan Howell and Phil Lester fanfiction. If you haven't heard of them, then go check out their YouTube channels (AmazingPhil and danisnotonfire) right now. It won't take you long to fall in love with them and once you do, come back and read the story. :)