Depression//Phan - ella - Wattpad

Depression//Phan

Reads 6,690
Votes 162
Parts 19
Time 1h 35m

Reads 6,690
Votes 162
Parts 19
Time 1h 35m

Mature

danandphil danandphilfanfiction danhowell danhowellandphillester danisnotonfire depression fanfiction howell lester phanfic phanfiction philanddan phillester sad upsetting

(tw: s*lf-h*rm, mentions of s*lf-h*rm, d*pr*ss*d scenes. May be triggering for some. Read at your own limit, please!)

Phil Lester, a boy who's falling into depression slowly. And soon, his depression may end up falling to deep.

He gets hateful and rude comments on his videos that he posts to YouTube. He even gets hate on Twitter, Facebook, and Tumblr. What did he ever do to them?

What did he do to deserve any of this??

His flatmate Dan doesn't know about Phil's depression, however. All he knows (thinks, rather) is that his best friend is staying strong through all of the hateful things he gets from people. 

But in reality, that's not what Phil is doing at all. 

He's not staying strong through the hate. He's just faking the smile for Dan so he wouldn't get so worried about him. Sure, Dan might be able to crack some real smiles out of him once in a while, but not every time. He also wears long sleeves and thick bracelets to hide the scars of his pain. He acts like his normal quirky, adorable, funny, weird self when making YouTube videos, when around his friends and family, when having a meet-up with fans (or just being around them in general), when out in public, etc. Phil hadn't told anyone at all about his depression. And he probably wouldn't anytime soon, either. His fans didn't know, his friends didn't know, his family didn't know, Dan didn't know... nobody knew.

But one day, would people push him over his limit?

Would Dan be able to save him in time?

© 2016 by bluetroyee. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.All Rights Reserved

danandphil danandphilfanfiction danhowell danhowellandphillester danisnotonfire depression fanfiction howell lester phanfic phanfiction philanddan phillester sad upsetting

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19 parts

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I Am Nobody (phan) by MySecretsX

COMPLETE *** I am nobody and I'm nobody that matters. I'm alone, neglected by everyone and worthless. I want something, something crazy, something that's dangerous to get. But I will. Most would call me a psycho, but that's far from it. I'm so hurt and so full of emotion, which is exactly the reason I've decided to do this. Do what exactly? Stalk him 'til he loves me. I'm reasonably popular, I wouldn't say famous, on the internet. I have my little community and as long as I'm making someone happy, even myself, making these videos is worth it. There's this one guy, though, that's constantly trying to get my attention, and succeeding for that matter. I've been warned he's dangerous and I should take the hints and stay away, but I've never been one to listen. And, I see something in this kid, he's hurt, and I will help him. With what exactly? Whatever he wants.

Annoying sunshine // Phan {COMPLETED} by derailedphantrash

CONTAINS SELF HARM AND DEPRESSION Dan: the anti social kid at the back of the class , dressed in black lost in his own world . He has no friends , no family and he liked it that way . He had secrets , ones that he could never share unless psychiatric hospital sound good to you . Phil : the over enthusiastic new kid that's smiling though his pain . The boy that lost everything yet still fakes his smile . He looks like the sun yet feels like the dark sky yet know one will ever know . Phil doesn't have secrets but he has another person within himself , the true Phil , the one that wants to put a bullet in his head and die like the rest of his family seems to do yet this Phil is hidden under a mask of bright clothes and smiles . When Dan and Phil meet at the back of a class right in the very corner dans appearance reminds him of his true self , Phil reminds Dan about the old him the one before he lost hope . Dan hates Phil he's to happy and it sickens Dan . Phil is intrigued by Dan he's to mysterious and Phil loves it . They both have secrets and they both have issues . Will they end up bonding or colliding ?

In Another Life (Dan and Phil X Reader) by Liv4Writing

You've lived most of your teenagerhood as a major fan of Dan and Phil, and a proud member of the Phandom (shipping them or not, your choice.) You wake up one day to find yourself seemingly inserted into Dan's life as his best friend, and the next day inserted into Phil's life. You alternate being your two favorite YouTubers' best friend. Finally, you notice that Dan and Phil are notably absent from each other's lives: they've never met. You're torn between wanting to bring the two YouTubers together to create the amazing Phandom, but you also want to continue spending your life with them. And on top of that, you only have room for one life- Dan or Phil? Note: Please read the whole story! It won't make sense if you skip chapters.

Finding the Phandom: A Dan and Phil AU by AmberIssues0

Phil Lester is a YouTuber who lives in London. He has a following of, just recently, 4 million people. He has been making a name for himself. He loves his job, but he is missing something. Dan Howell is a law school drop out from the University of Manchester. He has been doing YouTube since he graduated high school. He now does YouTube full time. He has a following of six million people. He still feels lonely. What happens if Dan and Phil never met in 2009? In a world where Dan and Phil aren't "Dan and Phil", will the phandom still ship them? Will fate intervene? Warnings: Language, Depression, Self-Harm, Hospitals Cover Art credit: http://maddox-rider.tumblr.com/

Danny's Girl (Phan) by SmolSalmon

I've read a bunch of phan, so why not write one? Dan Howell's life couldn't be any better at the moment. He has met the most beautiful, charming, kind girl he could ever imagine, and she loves him back. Everything is perfect... but not for Phil. Phil Lester has always been in love with Dan since the first moment he first met him, but now Phil's heart is crushed. He has some suspicions of Dan's girlfriend, but Dan just brushes it off, ignoring Phil completely. Unfortunately, Phil's bad feelings may be true... Sexual content, self harm, language, and domestic abuse warning. Also, I'm American, so if I get anything wrong, please tell me. ••• Update: This is very old (not really that old) writing! It's cringy as hell, and I apologize in advance. I have fixed a few errors, so if it seems slightly different than it was before, that's why.

Smile, Dan by kittylover573ds

DISCLAIMER: This story is mature because it will have some self harm in it. It will also have some swearing due to that's how Dan actually talks. This is not about Phan being real. I'm sorry to disappoint you. Now onto what it is really about: Dan Howell is becoming more and more depressed. His family, his community, not even his best friend, Phil Lester, can help him. He believes he's a lost cause, and he's a mistake. He tries to hide it best he can, but some nights, it's just too much. During this, he's lost his will to smile. He'll fake smiles for videos and pictures, but he's lost a reason to genuinely smile.

voices | phan au by gothboiiz

dan howell, nothing but a fuck up student and son. he knows the voices get the better of him, or does it? another voice comes, but this one is real. hes called phil lester. does phils voice change the thoughts of dan? or make it worse? ~ triggers : self harm, suicide, blood, anxiety & nervous breakdowns au's : depressed, high school (mainly adult life) boyxboy

My Blood, Your Bones - Phan by SweetLittlePhangirl

Young Dan Howell, who lives with his alcoholic father, lost his mother to cancer less than a year ago, and is killing himself. Phil Lester, a boy picked on for his weight, lives alone from the rest of the world in a rehab center while trying to recover from severe anorexia. When a concerned teacher suggests Dan seek help, the two lonely worlds collide. Maybe all they need for help is each other. (Rating: Mature! Very angsty! Read at your own risk! Triggers: self harm, eating disorder, suicide. A little swearing. A little smutty, a little fluffy)

Too Close (Phan) by WellThisIsAwkward49

Phil Lester is a well known youtuber. He hides behind the camera, he acts the way that he wants to but he scared to be himself at school. He's popular and he's not happy like that. Dan is sweet and rarely talks. He is always afraid that somebody will hurt him so he tries to stay away from people and emotions. Dan struggles with depression, selfharm, bullies, anorexia, a dark past, and being fostered by an abusive family. His mom and dad died when he was 13 and he blames himself everyday. His 7 year old sister is the only thing keeping him alive and sane. Phil feels bad for Dan, but he can't show it unless he wants to get hurt to. Little does Phil know, Dan is quickly losing control of his life. Read this book to go on this adventure with Dan and Phil. (Will mostly be written in Dan's POV) WARNINGS: This story will have very triggering content that deals with self harm, depression, self hatred, anorexia, abuse, harsh language, bullying, mentions of rape, bulimia, and anxiety. Please be careful reading my book and I am always here to talk if you need it. Also, Dan is shorter in this book, about 5'9" cause I have a thing with height.

A slim chance by noshowsiero

Two anorexia patients Two untold stories Is a slim chance really enough to survive? -------- When Dan Howell is sent to a rehab full of depressed teenage girls, will he ever be able to escape his traumatic past? It's a slim chance... until Phil Lester comes along that is. -------- please be aware that this was written a long time before it was uploaded and my writing style has changed a lot since then. I won't be rewriting this to fix any mistakes so please DONT bother pointing them out thanks and enjoy!

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Slide 1 of 10

I Am Nobody (phan) cover

Annoying sunshine // Phan {COMPLETED} cover

In Another Life (Dan and Phil X Reader) cover

Finding the Phandom: A Dan and Phil AU cover

Danny's Girl (Phan) cover

Smile, Dan cover

voices | phan au cover

My Blood, Your Bones - Phan cover

Too Close (Phan) cover

A slim chance cover

I Am Nobody (phan)

COMPLETE *** I am nobody and I'm nobody that matters. I'm alone, neglected by everyone and worthless. I want something, something crazy, something that's dangerous to get. But I will. Most would call me a psycho, but that's far from it. I'm so hurt and so full of emotion, which is exactly the reason I've decided to do this. Do what exactly? Stalk him 'til he loves me. I'm reasonably popular, I wouldn't say famous, on the internet. I have my little community and as long as I'm making someone happy, even myself, making these videos is worth it. There's this one guy, though, that's constantly trying to get my attention, and succeeding for that matter. I've been warned he's dangerous and I should take the hints and stay away, but I've never been one to listen. And, I see something in this kid, he's hurt, and I will help him. With what exactly? Whatever he wants.