Depression//Phan - ella - Wattpad

Depression//Phan

Reads 6,627
Votes 162
Parts 19
Time 1h 35m

Reads 6,627
Votes 162
Parts 19
Time 1h 35m

Mature

danandphil danandphilfanfiction danhowell danhowellandphillester danisnotonfire depression fanfiction howell lester phanfic phanfiction philanddan phillester sad upsetting

(tw: s*lf-h*rm, mentions of s*lf-h*rm, d*pr*ss*d scenes. May be triggering for some. Read at your own limit, please!)

Phil Lester, a boy who's falling into depression slowly. And soon, his depression may end up falling to deep.

He gets hateful and rude comments on his videos that he posts to YouTube. He even gets hate on Twitter, Facebook, and Tumblr. What did he ever do to them?

What did he do to deserve any of this??

His flatmate Dan doesn't know about Phil's depression, however. All he knows (thinks, rather) is that his best friend is staying strong through all of the hateful things he gets from people. 

But in reality, that's not what Phil is doing at all. 

He's not staying strong through the hate. He's just faking the smile for Dan so he wouldn't get so worried about him. Sure, Dan might be able to crack some real smiles out of him once in a while, but not every time. He also wears long sleeves and thick bracelets to hide the scars of his pain. He acts like his normal quirky, adorable, funny, weird self when making YouTube videos, when around his friends and family, when having a meet-up with fans (or just being around them in general), when out in public, etc. Phil hadn't told anyone at all about his depression. And he probably wouldn't anytime soon, either. His fans didn't know, his friends didn't know, his family didn't know, Dan didn't know... nobody knew.

But one day, would people push him over his limit?

Would Dan be able to save him in time?

© 2016 by bluetroyee. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.All Rights Reserved

danandphil danandphilfanfiction danhowell danhowellandphillester danisnotonfire depression fanfiction howell lester phanfic phanfiction philanddan phillester sad upsetting

Table of contents

19 parts

Sign up to add Depression//Phan to your library and receive updates

or

Content Guidelines

You may also like

Too Close (Phan) by WellThisIsAwkward49

Phil Lester is a well known youtuber. He hides behind the camera, he acts the way that he wants to but he scared to be himself at school. He's popular and he's not happy like that. Dan is sweet and rarely talks. He is always afraid that somebody will hurt him so he tries to stay away from people and emotions. Dan struggles with depression, selfharm, bullies, anorexia, a dark past, and being fostered by an abusive family. His mom and dad died when he was 13 and he blames himself everyday. His 7 year old sister is the only thing keeping him alive and sane. Phil feels bad for Dan, but he can't show it unless he wants to get hurt to. Little does Phil know, Dan is quickly losing control of his life. Read this book to go on this adventure with Dan and Phil. (Will mostly be written in Dan's POV) WARNINGS: This story will have very triggering content that deals with self harm, depression, self hatred, anorexia, abuse, harsh language, bullying, mentions of rape, bulimia, and anxiety. Please be careful reading my book and I am always here to talk if you need it. Also, Dan is shorter in this book, about 5'9" cause I have a thing with height.

My Blood, Your Bones - Phan by SweetLittlePhangirl

Young Dan Howell, who lives with his alcoholic father, lost his mother to cancer less than a year ago, and is killing himself. Phil Lester, a boy picked on for his weight, lives alone from the rest of the world in a rehab center while trying to recover from severe anorexia. When a concerned teacher suggests Dan seek help, the two lonely worlds collide. Maybe all they need for help is each other. (Rating: Mature! Very angsty! Read at your own risk! Triggers: self harm, eating disorder, suicide. A little swearing. A little smutty, a little fluffy)

I Am Nobody (phan) by MySecretsX

COMPLETE *** I am nobody and I'm nobody that matters. I'm alone, neglected by everyone and worthless. I want something, something crazy, something that's dangerous to get. But I will. Most would call me a psycho, but that's far from it. I'm so hurt and so full of emotion, which is exactly the reason I've decided to do this. Do what exactly? Stalk him 'til he loves me. I'm reasonably popular, I wouldn't say famous, on the internet. I have my little community and as long as I'm making someone happy, even myself, making these videos is worth it. There's this one guy, though, that's constantly trying to get my attention, and succeeding for that matter. I've been warned he's dangerous and I should take the hints and stay away, but I've never been one to listen. And, I see something in this kid, he's hurt, and I will help him. With what exactly? Whatever he wants.

A slim chance by noshowsiero

Two anorexia patients Two untold stories Is a slim chance really enough to survive? -------- When Dan Howell is sent to a rehab full of depressed teenage girls, will he ever be able to escape his traumatic past? It's a slim chance... until Phil Lester comes along that is. -------- please be aware that this was written a long time before it was uploaded and my writing style has changed a lot since then. I won't be rewriting this to fix any mistakes so please DONT bother pointing them out thanks and enjoy!

The Only One (Phan) [COMPLETE] by underscorekacie

"Phil Lester is the literal sunshine of my life. If I didn't have him in my life, I may have been dead by now. Every day still sucks, but whenever I'm with Phil, my heart remembers that life is worth living. The only reason my life is worth living is to be next to Phil. To see him smile, to hear him laugh, to listen to his voice, to watch him move...everything. Everything that he does brings the much-needed light into my life." Dan Howell has many struggles within himself, despite his successful YouTube career. The only one who truly helps him is his best mate, Phil Lester. Dan has been madly in love with Phil since the first day they met. However, Dan knows that it is inevitable that Phil will never return the feeling because he is only interested in women. As Dan attempts to battle his own demons, Phil seems to be quite happy and even ends up dating a beautiful girl. Unfortunately, this makes Dan's mental state even worse. What will happen to Dan? Will he ever confess his strong feelings for his best friend? Will he ever overcome the ongoing war in his head?

In Another Life (Dan and Phil X Reader) by Liv4Writing

You've lived most of your teenagerhood as a major fan of Dan and Phil, and a proud member of the Phandom (shipping them or not, your choice.) You wake up one day to find yourself seemingly inserted into Dan's life as his best friend, and the next day inserted into Phil's life. You alternate being your two favorite YouTubers' best friend. Finally, you notice that Dan and Phil are notably absent from each other's lives: they've never met. You're torn between wanting to bring the two YouTubers together to create the amazing Phandom, but you also want to continue spending your life with them. And on top of that, you only have room for one life- Dan or Phil? Note: Please read the whole story! It won't make sense if you skip chapters.

Annoying sunshine // Phan {COMPLETED} by derailedphantrash

CONTAINS SELF HARM AND DEPRESSION Dan: the anti social kid at the back of the class , dressed in black lost in his own world . He has no friends , no family and he liked it that way . He had secrets , ones that he could never share unless psychiatric hospital sound good to you . Phil : the over enthusiastic new kid that's smiling though his pain . The boy that lost everything yet still fakes his smile . He looks like the sun yet feels like the dark sky yet know one will ever know . Phil doesn't have secrets but he has another person within himself , the true Phil , the one that wants to put a bullet in his head and die like the rest of his family seems to do yet this Phil is hidden under a mask of bright clothes and smiles . When Dan and Phil meet at the back of a class right in the very corner dans appearance reminds him of his true self , Phil reminds Dan about the old him the one before he lost hope . Dan hates Phil he's to happy and it sickens Dan . Phil is intrigued by Dan he's to mysterious and Phil loves it . They both have secrets and they both have issues . Will they end up bonding or colliding ?

deranged | phan by phanlusions

completed~~ Dan Howell is admitted into the Manchester Eye Mental Hospital after his attempted suicide. He gets roomed with a boy named Phil Lester, but he doesn't talk much. Not at all actually. Dan decides to make it his personal mission to make Phil talk, but focusing on someone all the time can make you lose yourself. ------------------------------------------ mentions of self harm, suicide, multiple mental illnesses, etc ------------------------------------------ deranged (a.) mad; insane

Moving ~ PHAN by krysiice

When Dan start school in a new place, he and Phil become friends fast. But what happens when things become to much? What happens when the only relief seems to be in harming? What happens when they start catching feelings for one another? But what happens when what Dan's been forced to do his whole life, emerges again, threatening to possibly separate them forever, especially when they need the other the most? *Contains: -fluff, smut -descriptive issues such as: self harm, abuse, suicidal thoughts PLEASE DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE EASILY TRIGGERED BY THESE THINGS stay safe *hugs*

Outcast ✧ Phan by cuddlephan

Dan Howell has telekinesis - a power just like out of a comic book. Yet instead of protecting the universe as a brave superhero, he hides. He hides his power and himself, fearing nothing more than getting attached to somebody and dragging them down. Of course, Phil Lester, the new kid in school, just had to come waltzing in, destroying his entire view on nearly everything in the worst (and best) ways possible. Phil's like a drug, and boy, is Dan addicted. Warning: contains self harm, depression, boyxboy, references towards abuse, and other possible triggers or content you may not be comfortable with. you can message me in private for the specifics if you feel you need it and remember to stay safe. (Top: #89 in Fanfiction, #1 in Phan!)

You may also like

Slide 1 of 10

Too Close (Phan) cover

My Blood, Your Bones - Phan cover

I Am Nobody (phan) cover

A slim chance cover

The Only One (Phan) [COMPLETE] cover

In Another Life (Dan and Phil X Reader) cover

Annoying sunshine // Phan {COMPLETED} cover

deranged | phan cover

Moving ~ PHAN cover

Outcast ✧ Phan cover

Too Close (Phan)

Phil Lester is a well known youtuber. He hides behind the camera, he acts the way that he wants to but he scared to be himself at school. He's popular and he's not happy like that. Dan is sweet and rarely talks. He is always afraid that somebody will hurt him so he tries to stay away from people and emotions. Dan struggles with depression, selfharm, bullies, anorexia, a dark past, and being fostered by an abusive family. His mom and dad died when he was 13 and he blames himself everyday. His 7 year old sister is the only thing keeping him alive and sane. Phil feels bad for Dan, but he can't show it unless he wants to get hurt to. Little does Phil know, Dan is quickly losing control of his life. Read this book to go on this adventure with Dan and Phil. (Will mostly be written in Dan's POV) WARNINGS: This story will have very triggering content that deals with self harm, depression, self hatred, anorexia, abuse, harsh language, bullying, mentions of rape, bulimia, and anxiety. Please be careful reading my book and I am always here to talk if you need it. Also, Dan is shorter in this book, about 5'9" cause I have a thing with height.