I wonder...

Assalammualaikum and hi there.. ~_~
this is my first entry.. so thanks for reading,, and enjoy..

I am a girl. I am 19 this year. The title is "I wonder..."
L.O.V.E , its feel so positive just by saying it. Before this, I had crush on almost everyone that I think attractive, cute, handsome, kind, weird, smart, and etc... But when I started to know them, I became less attracted to them. And I found that I just want to have a friendship bond with them.
But, when its come to someone that I know (and had crush on him long time ago) I got confuse when he say he had feeling for me. At first I reject him, and say that we should just be good friend. And we do, but its a little bit awkward. After a while, he ask me out again, but I refuse. I know I am a bit to much on him, but I am just doing what I think is right. He got the look, active at sport, kind, and I love his eyebrow(hehe,,). Time has passed, and he got girlfriend. And she is pretty(huhu,,). I cheer him up(as a good friend).

Time pass.. I does not contact him because I do not want to bother their relationship. I just continue my life just like usual, but suddenly he contact me, and said that they broke up. So I cheer him up(that what friend are suppose to do right?). We continue our "unknown" relationship...

But, one day.. I don't know what happen to me, because I suddenly ask him "what are we actually???". And he answered casually "friend right?". And I was like "Owh,, yeah,". But its totally pissed me off. I know I am being greedy. That's why, a few days after that I ask him Out!
It is very embarrassing, but luckily he is happy.

But know, I realize that I does not feel the strength in our relationship. I am I doing the right things? Or I am totally wrong? I am confuse...

(.. hhaha , just a fiction)