Donald, the Barbarian

Donald, the Barbarian

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WpMetadataNoticeLast published Thu, Oct 22, 2015
Donald fears he is going insane--and with good reason. Every male member of his family eventually succumbs to insanity, but Donald is not having any of that (it makes it hard to meet women and have a good time when you're chained up in the barn to keep you from eating your own toenails) so he sets off to become a hero. That, he figures, is the best way to become rich and famous, something he desperately wants. Not so much for the wealth and fame, but rather because--as everyone knows--the rich and famous are never 'crazy', they are 'eccentric'. So, if he must go mad (and he certainly must, since it's a family tradition), Donald would much rather have people say of him "that's the eccentric hero, Donald" than "that crazy old git, Donald--he eats his own toenails". So he sets off to find fame, fortune, and eccentricity accompanied only by his horse, Duncan. Fate, however, steps in to lend a hand and Donald soon learns that being a hero (especially a barbaric one) involves a lot of sweat and beating people over the head with heavy, sharp implements. . .
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You might think you know human history, but you've never viewed it From His Perspective.....you like a good laugh, right? In the beginning, there was darkness and The Boss liked the darkness. He'd spent years creating the darkness. He was proud of the darkness. Unfortunately, his assistant Norbert liked to snack while working and had a very sensitive nose. Had he not been in charge of monitoring the black holes this may not have been a problem but, as it was, a violent sneeze launched a single biscuit crumb into the darkness, and it was no more. A huge explosion rocked the Factory (better known to us as Planet Earth) and, for The Boss and Norbert, the real work began - they had to deal with life. Life, as they found out, had an awful habit of not staying true to their designs, however carefully they drew up the blueprints. Suddenly, there were fish who wanted to live on the land, a dinosaur who went around killing everything it met, and then, of course, there was man - the Boss' most distinguished and regrettable invention.

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