Love for Pain
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Complete, First published Oct 16, 2015
I fell in love with the pain of the blade.
I fell in love with it's sense of comfort and the thought of power.
I fell in love with seeing the drops of blood
Running down my thighs as I silently cried.
I fell in love with the pain I caused myself with the sharp shard of glass
But most of all, I fell in love with you.
I fell in love with the way you pinned everything on me and turned everyone against me. 
I fell in love with the loneliness that you were the cause of. 
I fell in love with being alone with no one to cry to but myself. 
I fell in love with pushing people away. 
And as I fade away, remember that I fell for you first.
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53 parts Ongoing

we're all beggars here, clawing at each other's sepia-toned loneliness ... || caffeinated afterthoughts and lovers' vomit ||