Rebecoming a Muslimah, Rebecoming Laili

So basically i think i was born very much an idealist and very much innocent. I loved everything and anything and all was quite beautiful. But see the thing is, people grow up. And i did it. I didn't know how to handle it. To be fully honest, I'm not quite sure I always will. But masyahallah, I can seek solace in the fact that Allah swt will always help and guide me through. So I have a lot to say. I don't even know where to start. But I do know this, I think, Alhamdulillah, that this time I've found a stable muse for my thoughts and writings and a very genuine one. After reading millions of others' novels and fanfiction and academic papers, it recently clicked that I was going about it the entirely wrong way. In my love for the people around me, I've concerned and grounded myself so much upon them that I lost myself when they have to leave my life. Insyahallah I won't make the same mistakes again. And this is how I try...