I'm A Big Fat Liar

I'm A Big Fat Liar

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WpMetadataReadLengkap Sab, Des 9, 20173h 28m
How can one mistake of gender can break me. How is it that the only person to ever truly love me for me, now despises me. I can not even imagine what he'd think if he'd seen me now. I always knew love was a joke and now I'm living proof. I'm a big fat liar and I am now alone. (I understand this is cliche and like so many others, but I don't care. I tried to make it interesting, but if it's not I'm sorry. Please enjoy though.)
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As I stare at myself in the mirror, I don't even recognize the reflection. I'm a married woman, and I can't get over that. I'm only wearing red lace underwear at the moment. I wear sexy panties and bras now because I have someone who's seeing them every day other than myself. Does he wear special boxers...? I'm not ready to think about Silas that way yet. It is still too weird. I am a little surprised that I haven't had a meltdown yet. I've never had a panic attack before, but my life has been turned upside-down. I have a pretty damn good excuse to have one. Everyone is probably expecting that I will. They may even be surprised that I haven't yet. Eight years erased... Eight years to learn... I stare at my reflection in the mirror. I'm still me... just older. I rub lotion into my face, examining it closely. Still me. Same blue eyes. Same shallow dimples in my cheeks. Same lips that cover straight teeth that my parents paid a lot of money for. I step back and take in my body. A little curvier then I remember, but not by much. I guess with marriage comes comfort weight. My hair is the same blonde, just longer. How odd to have everything the same... yet so different. Completed July of 2019

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