The Suicide Equation - William Woodruff - Wattpad

The Suicide Equation

Reads 1,057
Votes 88
Parts 32
Time 2h 16m

Reads 1,057
Votes 88
Parts 32
Time 2h 16m

Mature

alcohol anxiety dark darkness death depression drugs family fiction hatred hell help highschool love pain selfharm suicide teen teenfiction therapy

For the last month I've had nothing but dark thoughts. I finally decided to speak to someone about it. I went to Mr.Harn and told him everything. 

All he did was hold me and bring me to the schools councilor. He told her the story I was able to utter. She called my mother and arranged for me to be put into therapy. 

I spoke with her for half an hour.

"You've been through way to much for a girl your age!" She said in astonishment.

"I know." I replied.

"How are you alive?" She asked with both worry and curiosity.

"I honestly don't know." I spoke the truth.

How am I still alive?All Rights Reserved

alcohol anxiety dark darkness death depression drugs family fiction hatred hell help highschool love pain selfharm suicide teen teenfiction therapy

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32 parts

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Cold Water by adaline_meadows

[BWWM] I was only twelve years old when the world turned cold. The day my mom died in that car accident, I felt like someone had dumped a bucket of ice water over my heart. My dad, who had always been my hero, suddenly became a stranger, filled with rage and blame. He couldn't see that I was hurting, too; he only saw me as a reminder of his loss. The accusations cut deep. He said it was my fault for being there, for not doing something to save her. For being the reason she was in the car in the first place. In the years that followed, things only got worse. The abuse started gradually-a harsh word here, a shove there-but it escalated, leaving scars that I carried long after the physical pain faded. I was drowning in my own despair, struggling to keep my head above water while my father's anger raged like a storm around me. I only had a break from his anger when I started living with Aunt Dina-my mom's older sister. Well, that was because she found me nearly dead on my bed after I took a dozen pills. I was tired of living. I had hit rock bottom. The harsh whispers that followed me around and the stares at school. I pretended not to notice, like it didn't bother me. But it did. I was alone. Then came Athalia, a ray of sunshine cutting through my darkness. With her, I felt something I hadn't felt in years-happiness. She became my light through the darkness and my lifeline. ••••••••••• ● Warnings ⚠️ ~ Mention of suicide ~ Anxiety attacks ~ Rape attempt ~ Mention of self-harm ~ Depression

You're My Last Hope (Under Edit) by mxchxxlxsmxth

*SEQUEL WILL BE PUBLISHED SOON* {Trigger Warning: Self Harm, Abuse, Rape, Suicide, Depression, Anxiety, Panic Attack, Anxiety Attack, Anorexia, Bulimia} I never liked my life. No one would if they had an alcoholic dad who abuses him and his mom. Or if they got beaten every day at school for being "emo". Plus so many other problems that seem to have no solution. So yea, I guess I can officially say my life sucks. And I didn't want to live it. In fact, I was going to end it. But then that changed. It all changed when I met Anna. My name is Kellin Austins, and this is my story.

Locked In by MichaelaCilley

You don't believe me anyways. You don't see me throwing away my inhibitions or filling up my online shopping cart. You don't see me diving into new life goals and careers and areas of study. You don't see my cry to myself in the car when my chest sinks in and my head gets crushed in a vice. You don't feel the panic in my stomach whenever I must make human contact. And you sure don't see how hard I try. How I wake up every morning and apply my mask. My work mask- to conceal all of this. But.... It's been the same mask for many years And my mask is wearing thin. My sadness, my anger, my paranoia and grand euphoria are trying to become a part of your world too. A world where it's not welcome. A world where it's not understood, where it's frowned upon.

The New Me by thebarbiegirl95

High school is supposed to be the greatest years of our lives but so far for me it's been the worst my sophomore year I had only 2 best friends one embarrassed me in front of the whole school saying how much of a loser I was. My twin brother ignores me even he thinks I'm a loser and his best friend who I have been in love with for years and who was one person I always knew I could count on stops speaking to me after I declare my love for him and gets with the school bully who's one of the people who make my life hell, after all that I left and moved in with my aunt states away. when my senior year comes around I decide to face my fears and go back to my old high school and show them the new and improved me.

Fading Away ✅ by kia_spens18

Overthinking makes the voices in your head imminent and you begin to listen to them. You listen to them because they are the only thing there,the only thing telling you how it is. So you believe what they say; believe you're not worth the good things, believe you deserve the negative things that happen to you, believe that you could have stopped a bad incident from happening and believe it was your fault And that belief grows, it grows unto depressed thoughts and feelings and you start sinking until you become a shadow of your former self *********** Alexa sees life as a gloomy abyss of darkness Yes,she moved to a new city in a new state but it didn't change the mistake she did. Her past which was filled with colour is a contrast to her present bleak life The voices speak for her,her nightmares are a reminder and her attacks are her punishments Or so... she believes Blaze doesn't think his life is anything than his version of perfect He has a girlfriend,he is surrounded by two friends he would do anything for and his grades are always...perfect Until Alexa barges into his version of a perfect life and unravels the imperfections. But she's not the only one unraveling imperfections He sees the fear in her eyes,he feels a sense of protection over her and one question clouds his mind Who is Alexa Magnus and what happened to her? They'll both need help, care, confrontations from the past, patience, friendship and as they navigate through this roller coaster, they'll find discoveries that'll leave them shocked at the end. Trigger warning: Incidents of self harm is mentioned. Cover by @saphire_skye ***********************************************

Emptiness. by needsomementalhelp

Maybe in the emptiness, I'll finally find a way to escape. But I know I won't. I never do. The darkness is just another cage, another prison, and I'm trapped, with no way out. So I lie there, in the silence, in the darkness, and I wait. Wait for the next day, for the next alarm, for the next moment that will never come. And I wonder, is this all there is? Is this all there will ever be? I'm so tired, tired of pretending, tired of trying, tired of everything. I just want it to stop, to end. I want to disappear, to fade away into nothing.

It All Started With A Lie by AshanteMWilliams

"Why did you do it?" he asked. "What are you talking about" I replied nervously I knew what he was talking about. I just had hope that it would've been something else. "The lie" he replied calmly while me on the other hand was shaking. I was nervous, guilty and I felt like crying. "I umm don't know" I murmur I honestly didn't know I closed my eyes hoping, praying that when I opened them this will all be a nightmare...

What if...? Book One, Part 1: Neverland (A Peter Pan rewrite by Jae) by JAE_Wrote_This

"Who are you?" I demand. The boy in front of me replies, "That's not how this works, love." I freeze. That phrase. That voice. It can't be. I look up but he's just a cloaked silhouette. The rustling stops when boys surrounding us step from their hiding spots and light lanterns. Every single one of them masked and cloaked. Except the one in front of me. The lamps lit, and I see his face. "Whoa," slips from my lips as I stare at the boy in front of me. His eyes widen and his jaw almost, just almost, drops. With his guard down for that one instant I lose all fear and gain control. "You!" I yell suddenly overflowing with anger. My stomach heats with rage. I fight to stand, stronger this time with anger as fuel. He backs up, his breath increasing. Obviously, uneasy, I take it as a win and almost stand all the way. "You. What are you doing here? How did you find this place!" He switched to angry. "You! You're the reason! They put me back because of you! It was all cause of you! It was your fault! All of it!" I'm so angry I yell only what I can. My thoughts flying through my head I can only yell unexplained nonsense. I've never felt anger like this before. The red glow lightly pours off my own skin and I take notice to it. I compare it to the glow coming off of him. Suddenly, it's an instinct to allow the anger to explode and in doing so the red glow is taken from his chest as I absorb it all and throw it out in all directions. I yank down away from the boy holding me just as the red glow gets sucked from him, absorbed into my hands, and then thrown out in a sphere of red glow. All boys stumbling but not by much and the one holding me gets knocked back, I'm free. "You die now, Peter Pan!"

Devil May Cry ✔ by petra_the_first

She was the angel and I was the devil. I knew better than to fall for a good girl like her but something about her lured me hard. Maybe because she was hard to get or the only one who was better than me in my own game. I would be the one breaking hearts but I guess tables turn. Her love was torture for me but a torture I enjoyed. She had wings no one can see but I saw. I had all the bad habits and did all kinds of mistakes and everybody witness excpet she uncovered a side of me I learned to keep hiding. When I thought that love was empty she showed me that is was special. She was my angel and I was her devil. Her love taught me that everyone gets hurt and everyone feels pain. Even people with careless attitudes cry somedays. Her love gave me what life took. Her love hurt me more than life ever could. Because of her I now know that even the Devil May Cry

This is my truth by KristinaFigolah

My life has been an intense journey from a little girl who was beaten down and abused into believing that she was worthless, to a woman at 43 years of age who is still desperately searching for who she truly is. I found her though. I did. And she writes like me, from inside of me. She is me. This girl that I've been in love with since time first existed, is indeed me. The way that she walks. With her hands... and how she talks? The hearts that she's captured, the souls that she has inspired. I'm now trying to be her. I've never felt that I was good enough to actually be myself!!! I always knew how pure and clear and free I was inside. But people told me otherwise, in a very cruel way. No one ever spared my feelings or thought to speak to me with kindness or love. My parents were very serious and strict people. They believed that there was only 1 way to act and inside I knew that I did NOT fit in the parameters of the behavior expected of me. And every single time I made my Step Daddy sigh or frown it felt like I knife in my heart. I was a let down. Always too loud. Always moving too much. Always too fat and always too ugly. Always too much. Unless I sat quietly. But I've always been a firecracker and all of that containment really made me want to blow off! All of what was inside of me, swirling and dividing in me. Burying the side of me that I loved the most! I was a bastard and a blasphemy. Harsh words for a girl of 3. They said them when they baptized me.

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Slide 1 of 10

Cold Water cover

You're My Last Hope (Under Edit) cover

Locked In cover

The New Me cover

Fading Away ✅ cover

Emptiness. cover

It All Started With A Lie cover

What if...? Book One, Part 1: Neverland (A Peter Pan rewrite by Jae) cover

Devil May Cry ✔ cover

This is my truth cover

Cold Water

[BWWM] I was only twelve years old when the world turned cold. The day my mom died in that car accident, I felt like someone had dumped a bucket of ice water over my heart. My dad, who had always been my hero, suddenly became a stranger, filled with rage and blame. He couldn't see that I was hurting, too; he only saw me as a reminder of his loss. The accusations cut deep. He said it was my fault for being there, for not doing something to save her. For being the reason she was in the car in the first place. In the years that followed, things only got worse. The abuse started gradually-a harsh word here, a shove there-but it escalated, leaving scars that I carried long after the physical pain faded. I was drowning in my own despair, struggling to keep my head above water while my father's anger raged like a storm around me. I only had a break from his anger when I started living with Aunt Dina-my mom's older sister. Well, that was because she found me nearly dead on my bed after I took a dozen pills. I was tired of living. I had hit rock bottom. The harsh whispers that followed me around and the stares at school. I pretended not to notice, like it didn't bother me. But it did. I was alone. Then came Athalia, a ray of sunshine cutting through my darkness. With her, I felt something I hadn't felt in years-happiness. She became my light through the darkness and my lifeline. ••••••••••• ● Warnings ⚠️ ~ Mention of suicide ~ Anxiety attacks ~ Rape attempt ~ Mention of self-harm ~ Depression