childhood nightmare

I didn't have a very good childhood. my mom and dad divorced when I was little I don't remember when it happen. I have a younger brother that has has Tourette's syndrome. my mom was an alcoholic and party all the time had boyfriends after boyfriends. I was very confused and very lonely child I was sexually abused by my mom boyfriends and was even bullied in school which brought my self esteem self esteem down to zero. there was. a lot of violence my own mom would call me slut whore no good I am worthless and will never melt to nothing. I didn't have friends in school or out of school. I didn't go to church but was told by my dad I was Catholic i've heard about God but didn't know anything about him or it whatever people would have a name for God. my mom would move around a lot I went to different schools and I was in special education classes cause I was a slower then the other children. I always felt different from everybody else. never really knew what love was.