The Deepness of the Heart
- Reads 36
- Votes 6
- Parts 10
The secret feelings held inside my journal that only my friends know. I decided to share them in case y'all have gone through the same experiences. What is written comes from the deepest part of my heart.
All Rights Reserved
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When our eyes met
"As I looked up, my eyes met someone else's. He had curly copper brown hair that fell on his forehead and a chiseled jaw but I wasn't too concerned about his physical attributes. What really stuck out to me was his hazel eyes. I felt my pupils dilate as I slowly melted in his eyes. I felt safe in the comfort of his gaze. Why do I feel safe? The room faded away. It was just the two of us. Why does he have this effect on me? His eyes looked sympathetic. Why is he sympathetic? What are my eyes telling him? I felt a warm sensation flow through my body as my breaths became deeper. I didn't care about any of what happened before and I didn't care about anyone else. I just wanted to stay in this moment, with him, forever."Complete
¿How far are you willing to go? {Book 4} (Old Version) Being renewed
A body swam above me as he moved toward me, oh for heaven sakes! Even stuck in a bottom of the pool I had the disgrace to be saved by him again? What was he even doing here in the first place? Was he stalking me or something? Oh God, I had a stalker like in the movies. He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me up but my body didn't move an inch. I pushed him away from me and shook his shoulders as I pointed down at my stuck foot. He swam down and tried to unhook the bracelet but he couldn't. He pushed himself up and I thought that he had given up on me. I thought he was a rapist, now that I blew his cover it was a perfect way to get rid of me. I'm going to save myself, I don't need him anyways. I hovered and struggled to get it out. How did this even happen? I was pushed as jerk face returned, my head leaned back as he swam toward me and sneaked his arms around my waist to bring me forward. He plastered our mouths together to give me mouth to mouth breathing and the bracelet suddenly unhooked by itself. The fuck the ancestors think they're doing?Complete
Dear Journal...
Just an online journal of my personal thoughts . No, I am not suicidal. No, I am not depressed. Just introverted, and I trap feelings in more than I'm supposed to .. So I let them out here.Complete
Almos
"Who are you?" I asked him but instead of answering my question he suddenly grabs my hand and pulls me for a run. I don't know where he will bring me but to my surprised, I let him. We run away from something I don't know. I just know that there is something that was pulling me through a deep unknown darkness. But he was there and now we are running away. I don't know who he is yet I trusted him with all my life. For that instant, I knew my heart belongs to him. *** *** "I didn't mean to love you yet I love you so much I cannot hold you so tight." I said those words and I couldn't stop myself not to feel the bitterness of the truth we are going to face. But still I hold her hand even though I know that it isn't right. We run and I save her. Yet, I don't know it was the beginning and I don't want to find out the ending. Still, the end is near and I cannot hold her even though my heart already belongs to her.
Coming out
Well one of my good friends suggested I wrote a story or little biographical piece of my journey, experiences and feeling throughout the whole process of 'coming out'. I will also speak about all the feelings I felt and when I actually realized I was gay and how I've felt emotionally and how I've grown to this very day. Obviously this will be a gay piece of writing but nothing too extreme, but still I do recommend you refrain from reading if you don't like anything linked to homosexuality.Complete
when Em came to me
this is some stuff I write because I can't say it out loud and/or because I shouldn't be thinking about it. this is truly how I feel and what I think.Complete
Fatal Attraction: Falling into a Cruel love (Boyxboy)
Why did he kidnap me? This happened 3 months ago. Many times I have tried to escape the clutches of his rough hands. Many times I have cried for help. But I need to get stronger in order to escape from him. Now, three months later, I think about this, but now my feelings are different. I wanted to kill him, to make him suffer the way he made me suffer. "Do it, kill him!" Is what I'm thinking. "Kill him and it will be over. I will be able to escape." The mask that was hiding his identity looks at me as I hold the knife to his throat. The whole time I been wondering why I didn't just slit his throat. He told me to do it, to finish him but I couldn't, I just couldn't. I couldn't hate him for the times he whipped me or raped me. I just couldn't. I looked at him holding the knife to his throat with a shaky hand. No matter how hard I try I can't hate him. No matter how hard I try I can't get the knife to slice Reidson's throat. Dropping the knife on the floor I look at his face. I couldn't see his eyes because of the white mask. Now the same hands that used to be so rough became soft and warm. He still beats and rapes me but I figured out why I didn't hate him for making me suffer like this with these same hands that hurt me so cruelly are now touching my face gently. I held his hand to my chest as I look at his masked face. His hand is stained with blood. My blood. I look at his face, I have fallen into a cruel love.Complete
Thoughts and Constellations
A year full of ups and downs, written down to make someone, somewhere feel something. This is my personal journal published for the world to see. All my thoughts and feelings for a year. It has no plot. It has no ending. It just ends. Good luck trying to understand it because I don't even understand it myself. Enjoy the mind of a fifteen year old girl, unedited.Complete
The Journal of Beatrice Grace Parker
It all started as an exercise to let out my feelings... And ended up being much more.Complete
In Shadows of Night
I woke to a sudden breeze invading the warmth from the heavy blanket that caressed my skin. Here, alone with my thoughts, the still, calm quiet in the atmosphere is almost painful. I feel suffocated in the clingy, static air. In quiet, still moments like these, I can almost feel Him. I don't know who "Him" is, but I can feel his presence. It's almost calming, especially on fearful, anxiety fueled nights. Usually, he was the strongest when I had a nightmare. The nightmares weren't as common now, but, right after everything happened, I was having them every night. I'd wake up and swear I was drenched in blood, my eyes and lips sticky, my nose filled with the smell of iron and fuel. After everything, that's when Him first came. From there, he just never left. I can usually sense when Him is near. Today, though, his presence is stronger. I can almost feel Him next to me, weighing down the mattress. Some nights, I roll over and imagine how he looks, envision his smile or the sparkle in his eyes. He's never there and I'm left clutching to the thought that he exists, staring into empty air. Tonight, though, I swear I can reach out and touch him. Extending my hand gently, I sweep my hand out into the darkness and meet an inexplicable warmth. A scream rips from my lungs as hands cover my face and two icy blue eyes stare back at me, daring me to speak again. A soft cloth caressed my nose and mouth before I felt myself fade into bed. All Rights Reserved. Contains graphic descriptions of violence and assault. Contains battle scene.Complete
"As I looked up, my eyes met someone else's. He had curly copper brown hair that fell on his forehead and a chiseled jaw but I wasn't too concerned about his physical attributes. What really stuck out to me was his hazel eyes. I felt my pupils dilate as I slowly melted in his eyes. I felt safe in the comfort of his gaze. Why do I feel safe? The room faded away. It was just the two of us. Why does he have this effect on me? His eyes looked sympathetic. Why is he sympathetic? What are my eyes telling him? I felt a warm sensation flow through my body as my breaths became deeper. I didn't care about any of what happened before and I didn't care about anyone else. I just wanted to stay in this moment, with him, forever."
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