Why
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Why is it that the backbone of my mind is the weakest part. The very core that is meant to support me makes me crumble. Gosh am i really righting this, my thoughts processed into 'formal' language? I've had enough of it, i'm sick of having to do this. Im going to be honest. I have a very low amount of strengths to me, my weaknesses are way more than i was hoping for, but then again, maybe im just chaoticly unaware of my talents. Is that even a word? I dont know, and quite frankly couldnt care. I want to be a graphic designer, i want to travel world and take photographs, i want to have my own apartment. But guess what kiddo! YOU CANT HAVE EVERYTHING YOU WANT. why? why do stupid things happen to stupid people. Cant we just be left alone?
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I'm trying to keep my eyes open while hearing the noises of doctors and the beeps of machines. It's feeling like something is going away from me. I'm trying my best to keep my conscious. But second by second my strength is draining and pain is increasing into my head and whole body. But right now , I don't give damn to my own self. Anything could happen to me. I don't care. But nothing should happen to my child ... he should survive and live his life unlike his mother "who never got anything in her life. First I couldn't get the love from my parents "which i deserved.." then i got the husband "who don't give shit to my existence. My whole life went trying to get the piece of love "which I at least deserved once in my life . But no one dared to give to me and now god is snatching my last happiness as well. Which is my child. When I'd got to know about him. A ray of hope I'd felt in my life. I thought at least now I'll able to get someone whom I could call mine. But seems like god couldn't see me stay happy and now I'm laying on death bed holding my womb pleading to god that he should keep my baby safe. But I guess he can't see me happy and soon I heard doctor's faint voice " who announced baby is no more. We lost the baby. He whispered looking at other doctors being dejected. Tears made their ways from my twitching eyes..' and I felt like to scream and cry bitterly. All the emotions are gushing towards my brain and heart. but being numb on the bed made me so helpless that I can't even cry. After battling I couldn't hold my sanity and fell unconscious.
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