That day, I made a decision. I knew I would either stick by it or regret it. Although, knowing this I know I had no choice. My feelings for him were too strong for me to ignore.
I loved my family, and him, I had feelings for him. I loved him too but, the passion wasn’t the same.
I miss my mother, of course I do. But yet nothing was strong enough to prevent what I wanted to do. One step was all it took to trap me from the rest of reality.
I didn’t doubt my choices then, and even now I know I did the right thing.
I did, do the right thing, right? I didn’t only do it for me, I did it for him too, everything was perfect, and for once I could say that.
I wouldn’t change anything about my decision. I mean I had everything I wanted right there, with him the man of my dreams, like it was handed out on a plate. One heavy guilt is left on my shoulders though, for someone I had to leave behind, a sacrifice.
HOW DOES IT FEEL TO BE THE SECOND CHOICE IN A PERSON'S LIFE?
I was always the 2nd choice in everyone's life. People always left me for someone, someone who was a bigger jerk than me. I couldn't understand why they left me for assholes such as those bastards. This always happened in my dream. Every single time people left me to be with a toxic guy when I was the better choice. In my dreams, those people who left me were, sometimes a girl and sometimes a guy. Nevertheless I was always abandoned in my dreams while the guy who takes them away glares at me with a smug smile on his face as if screaming "I won."
Why was I always the second choice in their lives? I don't understand. What am I lacking?
"YOU ARE TOO KIND!"
"YOU NEED TO BE ASSERTIVE AND ROUGH ON BED TO WIN."
"PEOPLE THESE DAYS LIKE TO BE CONTROLLED AND LEAD ON!!"
"YOU NEED TO BE A BIT MORE TOXIC, MANIPULATIVE AND DEMANDING!"
"BADBOYS ARE A TREND THESE DAYS!"
"JUST BE A BIT MORE OF AN ASSHOLE OR ELSE YOU WILL NOT WIN! YOU HEAR ME?!?"
SAID A CERTAIN ANNOYING BUG!
"......." WTF!
I QUIT!!!