Tired of being

We stood besides the car, next to the gate and he asked:”why me? Why be with me when there are other guys out here?”
The Other Woman
When he says I love you bananas and posses all the open ended promises and you actually think they mean something. It’s a fairy tale! A world you’ve created and it’s hard to tell what’s real and what’s not.
So I know about the girl... The phone matching high school sweet heart
I should have given up, but I wasn’t strong enough, he had my heart and emotions wrapped round his finger.
I did nothing, because...
It felt right.
He was my home.
Everything in his world mingled with mine- his goals, his dreams, his passion, perfectly aligned with mine.
I'm not strong enough to walk away, instead
I let myself be treated as if I’m worthless.
I begged, I pleaded, I strategized-no matter what, the girlfriend is still in the picture- it hurts! I let myself be disrespected and at the same time disrespected someone else. Being second best hurts you as much as it hurts anybody else. I am the other women for months on end, years even.
I feel worthless; I question why I’m never good enough. I beg for answers and try to clear my conscience. I try to comprehend how something could feel so real, so amazing, How could I let him trick me into the feeling of being loved. I’m baffled by the presumption (or truth) that I will always be the other girl and never worth the real deal.
Tears stream down my face as I accept the truths. I hope one day I will be worth three things; Love, truth and a committed relationship.

I gave you my best, why are you giving her your best??

24 Oct. 15