Story cover for For How He Made Me Feel by rbeeyashah
For How He Made Me Feel
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    Parts 7
  • WpHistory
    Time <5 mins
  • WpView
    Reads 92
  • WpVote
    Votes 17
  • WpPart
    Parts 7
  • WpHistory
    Time <5 mins
Ongoing, First published Nov 02, 2015
Bringing you bits and pieces from the favouritest thing that rests on my bookshelf;  My diary. 
'For How He Made Me Feels' gives away from it's title. The pieces I'll be posting depicts was how it was with him in my life and how it was to let him go and how it is to miss him every single day.
This ain't no depressive love shit folks! Just a girl who found a way to cope by indulging herself into writing. 7 years worth of material that will be posted here in bits and pieces mostly are dedicated people who have left their mark in my life.
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"I want a divorce." And just hearing him say that my whole world that seemed to revolve around him stopped. Gathering myself I barely managed to speak in a voice that even I could not recognise. I couldn't comprehend anything going around me. "Wh..hy?" As soon as the words left my mouth he threw the file and the photographs spread across the floor. And those photographs had me in compromising positions with not one but several men. Looking at those photos I looked straight into his eyes. Disgust and hatred. The only emotions I could see. Taking a deep breath I composed myself and tried to keep my face void of the emotions I felt at that moment. Hurt and immense pain. If he didn't trust me then he has no right to see me vulnerable too. "Is this the only reason why you want to divorce me? No other except this?" It was foolish of me to ask him but I had to make sure. Also for me trust comes before love. If he doesn't trust me I don't even want to save the relationship. "Is this not enough you whore? What else can I expect from a slut and a gold digger like you! I knew it from the start that all you showed was just a facade. Your innocence, kindness, it was all fake. I just don't believe how can I be so dumb." Was I hurt? No I was broken beyond repair. My heart ached. I felt like I was seconds away from collapsing. I had far exceeded the limit of hurt and pain. I was so powerless in that moment that I couldn't even fight with him. Love makes you strong. I have heard and felt that countless times but they always forget to mention what comes after that. Love makes you weak too. I couldn't shout at him because I loved him. But I had to be brave. For myself. ************************************************** Is love enough for two people to be together or is there something more important than love? This is story of Xander and Sophie who loved each other but still couldn't be together. Because more important than love is trust. © All rights reserved
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This is a way to document how I felt every month we were together, holding onto the moments that meant the most. I will cherish every memory we made, no matter what happens. I don't know how to move on from it. One day we'll be together again, if it's God's plan. It's been weeks since the break, and I'm still writing about you.