The lost - hailee :) - Wattpad

The lost

Reads 1,079
Votes 22
Parts 17
Time 57m

Reads 1,079
Votes 22
Parts 17
Time 57m

findingyourself johnnycade johnnycake outsiders thelost

Why did it have to be like this? I feel like I've lost myself in this big world. When I was younger I always wondered what it felt like to be alone. Now I know. Sucks when you're dad beats you and cusses you out like its been your daily routine since you were little. It all started a few months ago when alcohol became my dads best friend after moms death. My dad only has to deal with my mom gone. I deal with that and my best friends death.
 My friend was killed a month ago. She was in town, at the store. It was only her, a greaser, and the clerk. He shot her for no reason, apparently. The clerk witnessed it all. There was a cop across the street so the clerk didn't get shot, thank god. They arrested the greaser and him killing Susan for no reason is what confuses me. His life must be all kinds of crazy.
 Now I have no friends. No mom. And I might as well have no dad. Susan was my only friend and before my mom died I told her everything. My dad and i were never that close and now its worse than before. From the outsider my life looks fine. But its not. I don't even like it, or like myself for that matter. I feel like my mom and susan died so they could get away from me. Next it'll be my dad and I actually might be glad for that one. Its like I'm the flu. Or worse. A deadly disease that no one wants to catch.
 I know its rough all over here in Tulsa and other people have it as bad as me, probably some have it worse. But I don't know how much longer I can take of this. I might kill myself or something, I have no one to live for. But I couldn't do that. I'm scared of physical pain. Couldn't hurt myself if I tried. My dad tells me to toughen up all the time but I can't do it. That's not how I dig.
I was home alone, and then I heard the screen door squeak and then slam shut.

"You little worthless piece of shit, where are you at?"(CC) Attribution-NoDerivs

findingyourself johnnycade johnnycake outsiders thelost

Table of contents

17 parts

Sign up to add The lost to your library and receive updates

or

Content Guidelines

You may also like

Word Of Action!✔️ by saraqat

-I am not good at giving descriptions but please give my story a chance- "He was the calm and she was the storm." They always say, loving someone would turn your life upside down in a good way but I believed that it's the opposite of good, and guess what? I was right. Love was always out of my mind. I drink, eat, and breathe my work I'm the definition of work alcoholic it's the truth. Then one day when I entered this case I knew that it will let me get where I want but for the first time in my life I was wrong. I failed! Not in my work, I failed in my life and I think I deserve it. My dad always tried gaining control over me and I hated it. One day I became sick of my dad's controllers over me so I decided that no one other than me would be in control of my life. Since that day I took the remote control of my life, emotions, tears, future, work, and anything that would pop out in my mind. If you wonder what happens if I wasn't in control the answer is I don't know or let me say I didn't know! Till one day I lost the remote control and it ended up pretty bad! I don't fear love, I fear the idea of someone else having control over my heart & feelings because you never know if the person will cherish you and never break you, or maybe it's only me. I don't trust people it's a survival instinct. And me being a controlling freak over everything doesn't make it any better for me! Love is like a drug, when you have it you feel at the highest place in your life but when you lose it you'll feel miserable, that's what I learned from my story of love. If I lost Serkan I know that I'll break apart and never be the same because I love him so deeply, he's engraved in my heart. And like that when I married Serkan it was like signing a deal with the devil himself. The name of the story has a deep meaning you come to know in the story. ** The story is under editing **

Ruin Me So You Can Save Yourself (Daryl Dixon X Male OC) by MIshaSatanHimself

Sam: I was raised the way that teaches you to be selfless. That's what I was doing my whole life. Taking care of my little brother when my parents couldn't or didn't want to, helping with chores, working, doing my best at school so I don't embarrass my family name, following my father's dreams and mothers expectations. Everything for them, to satisfy them, to please them. No one was ever satisfied with me though, I'm never good enough for no one. So as usual I bought a drink to reward myself for a once again perfect score on the exam. One drink turns into five and I find myself following some guy with pretty eyes. What I didn't know is that next time we meet I'm not going to be the one drunk and it's not going to be the last time I see him either. Quite the opposite, he'll manage to turn my life upside down, ruining it completely, and only the end of the world will be able to fix all of it. Daryl: When I was younger I used to think I was born with a curse in my blood, but then I understood that life is just a bitch. From my mother's death to surviving under my father's thumb and then jumping under Merle's. Whole my life I stood neck deep in shit, be it bird shit, my own shit or my family's. Every day is a stupid fight to not drown in that pool of shit, and for years the only thing keeping me floating were drugs and alcohol. But then, this bloody sunshine dropped into my life. After all the years of violence and roughness I grew to crave him like a secret drug. His gentle touch, his unconditional love and care. As much as my scarred soul craves it, this thing between us is crossing all the lines and breaking all the rules I knew. So I drown in ecstasy and weed even more, trying to figure myself out, so lost in my own bullshit that I didn't notice that his perfect life isn't as good as he says it is, and when I finally open my eyes, he's gone. He's fucking gone, and world is too, or at least the way we knew it.

𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐓𝐇𝐅𝐔𝐋 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄 ❥៚ 𝐝𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐚𝐬 𝐰𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐧 𝐱 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 by DlMENSIONS

You're part of the Curtis family, the third child - two years older than Ponyboy. You all get along quite nicely, they've taught you everything you need to know. Expect love, of course they love you but you don't know anything about being romantic. That never stopped "the colded hearted hood" Dallas Winston. But, what happens when an unexpected letter appears in your locker? Will it kill to find out who's writing these, or is it someone you're close with? ___ "You really don't know anything do you?" You scoff at his comment, glaring at him sharply. "Yeah, the only thing you know to do is get into everyones business!" He smiles at your response, "Atta girl, finally going by your name." You punch him in the jaw, he falls back and holds the new bruise that's gonna form."A girl can hit!" She runs a hand through her hair, "I hate you sometimes you know that!" He laughs and gets up, watching her figure walk away, "𝙎𝙝𝙚 𝙞𝙨 𝙗𝙖𝙙𝙖𝙨𝙨 𝙬𝙞𝙩𝙝 𝙖 𝙗𝙞𝙜 𝙝𝙚𝙖𝙧𝙩." ___ "Where do you see yourself in 5 years?" She ask the glum teen in front of her, he lights another cigarette. "Dead." She slaps him, he grins and blows out smoke. "What about you doll?" She smiles and dangles her feet off the bridge above the train tracks. "With you." He rolls his eyes, "In your dreams hon." She smirks and lays her head on his shoulder, "𝙄'𝙢 𝙖 𝙙𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙢𝙚𝙧," ⋇⋆✦⋆⋇　 ALL OUTSIDER CHARACTERS ARE RIGHTFULLY OWNED BY S.E HINTON! FEMALE READER; she/her pronouns started ◖ 11 - 19 - 19 completed ◖ 4 - 15 - 20 HIGHEST RANKINGS »»----> #1 IN GREASERS #1 IN DALLAS WINSTON #1 IN TWOBIT

Fake Tales by NotOriginal1997

"I don't know what kind of girl you think I am Greg" I mumbled. I was not the kind of girl who slept with guys on a whim. I wanted him, but not enough to abandon all reason. He took a step toward me, ignored my narrowed eyes and wrapped his arms around me. I wriggled and tried to pull away, but he only held me tighter. His face was impossibly close to me, expression serene to my fury. I could feel him already, pressing into my stomach. Fear shot through me, but the anticipation was equal. "I know exactly what kind of girl you are Maddy... that's the problem" He said simply. His lips crashed into mine, tasting every inch of me. I wanted more than anything to pull away, leave and never mention this again.... but I couldn't do it. The feel of him naked, warm and muscular against me rendered me speechless. I couldn't explain it, but our bodies seemed to fit together somehow and the anger I'd felt just a minute ago. That firey anger at him invading my privacy was gradually merging with the previous lust from last night. Now all I felt was an all consuming need for him to touch me. ....................................................................... Maddy Reynolds' life is a mess. Her best friend's brother Greg has just died and her two best friends Mel and Dom aren't speaking to each other. She has no one to talk to about her confusing feelings towards Greg or why Mel is so distant. Then at the funeral, she becomes friends with Tom Winter by pure chance and he seems to be the only one who understands her. And yet.... even he is keeping secrets from her. The sort of secrets that have the power to change everything. Maddy now has to decide to trust him or find out the truth on her own. Things would have been a whole lot simpler if she'd chosen the latter.

Can You Keep A Secret? (The Outsiders Fan Fiction) by fleetwoodmacca

"You lied to me," He insinuated. I felt my heart leap to my throat, this can't be happening. "It was a mistake, everyone makes mistakes," my voice dropped. "Yes, but you make more than most people." "I-" "You hurt me; you worry everyone, everyone you get close to you hurt. Ever since Ma and Pa died you've been nothing but inconsiderate to everyone else. You hurt all of us with your lies." "Not on purpose," I whispered, "I never wanted to hurt you, I only wanted to-" Soda put his hands up to silence me. "Rosey-" "Please don't do this, Soda, I care about him." I heard panic tinging my own voice. He said nothing. ----------- Friends are the family you can choose, but sometimes, those friends are more like lovers than family. Rosemarie Curtis, Sadie Cade, Sodapop Curtis, Ponyboy Curtis, Johnny Cade, Darry Curtis, Dallas Winston, Steve Randle, and Two-bit Mathews. All greasers and the best of friends, inseparable at the least. It's always been this way; a gang, a tight knot group of people. Nobody thought anything could disrupt the perfect little imbalance of friendship that consisted in the gang. Especially love, or complicated relationships. Complicated meaning... hidden. How will their friendship stay on the straight and narrow when fate's gun is loaded with twists, ready to be fired at the 9 gang members? And the main question is; can you keep a secret? Because there are plenty to keep.

Anomalies ✔ by whoscountinganyway

"I am the textbook definition of in love with you." *** Castor Rex: He's snarky, quiet and mysterious. A secret keeper. He doesn't like his life to be on display. People avoid him, even if they respect him. Jasper Red: He's polite, nice and helpful. A open book. He likes filling his life with other people and their love. People love him, they can't help it. Because of his quiet nature, snarky smirks and sarcastic words Castor has always had a hard time when it came to making friends -and keeping them. Something Jazz doesn't struggle with. With Jazz's protective nature, shyness and many friends he doesn't need someone else to fill a spot in his life -at least, that's what he thought. Then they met. And that empty part in Jazz's heart felt a little bit bigger because he started to realize Cas could fill it. Cas sees him as a grinning, happy dork he has no chance with. Jazz sees him as a adorable, grumpy jock that now, is his. Castor wants to get through the school year as quietly as possible but with how loud Jazz loves, neither of them know if it's possible, and to make matters worse they're roommates for the rest of the year. It's only a matter of time before they come together or fall apart. *** As a private person, someone who doesn't share myself with others, I can say that learning how to interact with others is difficult. It's like baking, almost, you have to mix the right ingredients together, and if you add the wrong ones things can taste hideous even if they look good. It's a lot like our words. But I've mastered how to tell someone just a little about myself but doing it in a way that makes the person in front of me think they know a lot. Jasper, somehow, sees through this every fucking time and it's absolutely infuriating. He's never satisfied with just a little of me, with my hidden truth, and it's the most annoying thing I've ever experienced. *** @STESLARA made the second POV in her book 'Jasper Red's Anomaly'

Siblings by Hjc0703

[Completed] There's three of us. Triplets. We all have each other's backs. There's me, Maeve. The one with red eyes. People call me a murder. Satan. Evil. Anything really. All I cared about was not them. Certainly not them. Those people didn't matter to me. What mattered was my other two siblings. Everything I have ever done, was for them. Even if they don't realize it. Even if they think I was the big bad monster. To the world, I was a cold heartless monster but to my siblings? I was loving sister. I was there if one of them have a nightmare. I'm there for them. There's Damien. The oldest out of us. He's the one with white eyes. The one who people who also call Satan and evil and all of that bullshit. You ever wonder if those goddamn bullies got tired of bullying other people? I do. Not the point, stay focused Maeve. What was I saying? Oh right, Damien. He likes cars. Building, tearing them apart, spray painting them, anything about cars. Then there's Angel. Sweet, sweet Angel. She's the youngest out of the group. She has blue eyes, different from us. She's the lucky one, per say. The one who doesn't get bulled. She has the personality like a five year old but we love her to pieces. Me and Damien try to protect her against the evil's of the world. She shouldn't go through that like we did. At least she has a normal childhood, or some part of normal. We didn't have the best childhood growing up. Well, me and Damien didn't. Mother gave Angel the best childhood she ever wanted. Sometimes, only sometimes when she was drunk or whatever with her stupid boyfriend did she punish Angel. That was once every blue moon. She was convinced me and Damien had Satan in us. While Angel, well she thought that Angel was an angel from Heaven. Now, let me stop rambling. This story will be an emotional roller coaster. Especially since we get sent to live with our older half-brothers. Mentions of self-harm, abuse, rape, miscarriage, violence, cursing, suicide attempts.

Outcast ✔️ by justanathergirl3

"You're hurting me..." I whispered. But his grip only got tighter as the pain got even more crucial. "It's what you get for stopping the party yesterday," Liam said. "I needed to," I murmured under my breath in the hopes that he would hear the weakness in my voice and let me go. But at last, it was only hoped that made me think that way. He didn't let go; he wouldn't let go until he taught a firm lesson. No matter how many times I ask and plead for forgiveness, he is never going to go until he is satisfied. "Were you jealous that you weren't invited? Is that why you had to sabotage the whole thing, uh?" he bit his teeth, his voice getting angrier and his hold on me crushing. "Ow.. please...," I said tears rolling down my eyes. He didn't say anything this time just watched me cry, and I could basically see the smirk forming on his lips in slow motion. This is what he wanted for me as if it was never enough for him to see me like this. I waited for him to say something anything, but instead, he let me go aggressively and pushing past me hard, causing me to lose balance and fall to the marble floor. I looked up to see everyone watching me struggle to get up. No one came to help, and I didn't expect them to they watched and laughed and even filmed, but no one came to my rescue. - The fake smiles, laughter, friends I am getting sick of it all. I always felt like I didn't belong anywhere with him gone. It was even worse. It was pathetic that I thought it's okay I will get through this, but I am slipping away falling slowly. The only reason I am still holding on is for my family. But he hurts me, bullies me, breaks me in ways I can't even describe. He has become the worst nightmare, and I can't wake up from it. There is no helping me from his sick and twisted games. After all, he believes I was the reason for the death of his best friend. But I have to hold on only one more year till I don't have to see him anymore. I need to survive as an outcast...

I Fell in Love with a Bad Boy by Beautiful_Tragedy8

CRINGE WARNING! First book I ever wrote on here!! -- "Sometimes the person who you are willing to take a bullet for is the person behind the gun." I stood peering over the cold lifeless body that lay before my eyes. I had always thought of death the enemy, but right now, I blessed it upon the person who is now at peace. Sometimes you don't need to be the smartest, or the fastest, but you do need to be wisest. They say the blood runs deeper than water, and I believe it, because even though the people that we love can turn on us and begin to hate us, they are only human, meaning that soon they will begin to see how short life really is and how it is not to be wasted. People who seem perfect and they look like they have no floors'; they are the people who are suffering, like I was. But I found my savior in the most uncommon place. He was able to look through my mask, he saw the cracks, and tried to fix the broken girl that hid away deep inside the girl who only wanted to be seen as 'fine'. I slowly began to find comfort and safety in him, and I did the same to him. We were two broken people becoming whole. Someone once said when you pass, if you can count your true friends on one hand you are beyond lucky, and I even though I did not like the person that lay before me, I know that he once had true friends, including me. I'm a 17 year old girl who has suffered more than any other, beginning to believe that 'Hope' was just another word the people throw around. Until I fell in love with a badboy. Trailer to the side -------------------> Made By @Laura__1 Cover made by @Beautiful_Tragedy8 Copyright 2014

Daddy Issues - Johnnyboy by cultural-decay

(Under Major Editing) this story contains descriptive self-mutilation, character death, alcohol abuse, drug/substance abuse, and bits of violence. (ANYONE WHO IS UNDER 16 AND IS CURRENTLY SUICIDAL, DEALING WITH OR EXPERIENCING THOUGHTS OF SELF-HARM PLEASE JUST CHOOSE A DIFFERENT STORY. THIS ISNT A FUN RIDE) Johnny has always been different, the gang knew that. He was always doing something to be proud of but he'll forever be a greaser unless his folks actually started to care for him, and even then, he'll always be an outcast, a delinquent. Johnny doesn't mind that though, he likes it the way it is, but he mainly would just like things to be different at home, but he's content with the gang. He was okay with them. Until his father dies. His old man had always treated him like shit anyway, but there was something inside that was crushed. Dad would sometimes help little Johnny out, it was his mother that had made things worse for him. After his death, Johnny couldn't cope much anymore, he was used to being able to, but now his emotions were out of control. He starts to spiral downwards. The gang is with him the whole time and tries their hardest to keep him at his best, but Johnny becomes irrational, too unpredictable for the gang to even understand but Johnny doesn't go down alone, he brings someone with him.

You may also like

Slide 1 of 10

Word Of Action!✔️ cover

Ruin Me So You Can Save Yourself (Daryl Dixon X Male OC) cover

𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐓𝐇𝐅𝐔𝐋 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄 ❥៚ 𝐝𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐚𝐬 𝐰𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐧 𝐱 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 cover

Fake Tales cover

Can You Keep A Secret? (The Outsiders Fan Fiction) cover

Anomalies ✔ cover

Outcast ✔️ cover

I Fell in Love with a Bad Boy cover

Daddy Issues - Johnnyboy cover

Word Of Action!✔️

-I am not good at giving descriptions but please give my story a chance- "He was the calm and she was the storm." They always say, loving someone would turn your life upside down in a good way but I believed that it's the opposite of good, and guess what? I was right. Love was always out of my mind. I drink, eat, and breathe my work I'm the definition of work alcoholic it's the truth. Then one day when I entered this case I knew that it will let me get where I want but for the first time in my life I was wrong. I failed! Not in my work, I failed in my life and I think I deserve it. My dad always tried gaining control over me and I hated it. One day I became sick of my dad's controllers over me so I decided that no one other than me would be in control of my life. Since that day I took the remote control of my life, emotions, tears, future, work, and anything that would pop out in my mind. If you wonder what happens if I wasn't in control the answer is I don't know or let me say I didn't know! Till one day I lost the remote control and it ended up pretty bad! I don't fear love, I fear the idea of someone else having control over my heart & feelings because you never know if the person will cherish you and never break you, or maybe it's only me. I don't trust people it's a survival instinct. And me being a controlling freak over everything doesn't make it any better for me! Love is like a drug, when you have it you feel at the highest place in your life but when you lose it you'll feel miserable, that's what I learned from my story of love. If I lost Serkan I know that I'll break apart and never be the same because I love him so deeply, he's engraved in my heart. And like that when I married Serkan it was like signing a deal with the devil himself. The name of the story has a deep meaning you come to know in the story. The story is under editing