The lost - hailee :) - Wattpad

The lost

Reads 1,079
Votes 22
Parts 17
Time 57m

Reads 1,079
Votes 22
Parts 17
Time 57m

findingyourself johnnycade johnnycake outsiders thelost

Why did it have to be like this? I feel like I've lost myself in this big world. When I was younger I always wondered what it felt like to be alone. Now I know. Sucks when you're dad beats you and cusses you out like its been your daily routine since you were little. It all started a few months ago when alcohol became my dads best friend after moms death. My dad only has to deal with my mom gone. I deal with that and my best friends death.
 My friend was killed a month ago. She was in town, at the store. It was only her, a greaser, and the clerk. He shot her for no reason, apparently. The clerk witnessed it all. There was a cop across the street so the clerk didn't get shot, thank god. They arrested the greaser and him killing Susan for no reason is what confuses me. His life must be all kinds of crazy.
 Now I have no friends. No mom. And I might as well have no dad. Susan was my only friend and before my mom died I told her everything. My dad and i were never that close and now its worse than before. From the outsider my life looks fine. But its not. I don't even like it, or like myself for that matter. I feel like my mom and susan died so they could get away from me. Next it'll be my dad and I actually might be glad for that one. Its like I'm the flu. Or worse. A deadly disease that no one wants to catch.
 I know its rough all over here in Tulsa and other people have it as bad as me, probably some have it worse. But I don't know how much longer I can take of this. I might kill myself or something, I have no one to live for. But I couldn't do that. I'm scared of physical pain. Couldn't hurt myself if I tried. My dad tells me to toughen up all the time but I can't do it. That's not how I dig.
I was home alone, and then I heard the screen door squeak and then slam shut.

"You little worthless piece of shit, where are you at?"(CC) Attribution-NoDerivs

findingyourself johnnycade johnnycake outsiders thelost

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The Rich Emo: Ouran High School Host Club by graciegreat

Loneliness. Depression. Broken. Scared. Devastated. Hopeless. Mournful. Disheartening. Bleak. Joyless. Somber. I have no one. Depression and Loneliness are the only things I feel. My family tries to make me happy, but I just put on a fake smile and cry about it in my room. They act like everything is alright, but everything is not. They KNOW I was devastated about Mom's murder. They KNOW I was heartbroken about Dad's sickness that eventually killed him. That's all I've thought about. Devastation and heartbroken. Just because of those two things. Never in my life I have been this devastating. Dayton, Hayden, Angel, or Monica know how to make me truly happy. Not even my own siblings know how to make me show a real smile. Suicide is all I can think about day to day and I've almost died because of that. DEPRESSION IS A REAL THING. NO ONE KNOWS HOW I FEEL EVERYDAY. NO ONE CAN JUDGE OTHERS ABOUT DEPRESSION OR EVEN MAKE JOKES ABOUT IT BECAUSE ITS A REAL THING. DEPRESSION HAS KILLED PEOPLE. EVERYONE IN MY LIFE JUDGES ME JUST BECAUSE I DON'T SMILE, LAUGH, HUG, OR DO ANYTHING NORMAL PEOPLE DO. I CUT MYSELF, I CRY, I YELL, I VENT, I PUSH PEOPLE OUT OF MY LIFE. Those are the things people are worried about me. "Go kill yourself and join your parents in hell." They say and I just shrug it off and find a private place to hide and cry it out. "I CAN'T DEAL WITH LIFE ANYMORE!!!!" I say and I use my sharp nails and cut myself then cry some more. A gun is buried within my arm for defense from my dad, but I use it in case I am tired of society. Then that's when I met the Host Club. They saw my sadness and made me a part of it to repay my debt for accidentally breaking a vase. I am now a Host for men to flatter them, but how can normal guys want me to be a Host when I wear lip earrings, eyeliner, chains, and have a gun in my arm? I'm the definition of Hell. Then he made me smile again, something that I thought I would never get back. Happiness.

Daddy Issues - Johnnyboy by cultural-decay

(Under Major Editing) this story contains descriptive self-mutilation, character death, alcohol abuse, drug/substance abuse, and bits of violence. (ANYONE WHO IS UNDER 16 AND IS CURRENTLY SUICIDAL, DEALING WITH OR EXPERIENCING THOUGHTS OF SELF-HARM PLEASE JUST CHOOSE A DIFFERENT STORY. THIS ISNT A FUN RIDE) Johnny has always been different, the gang knew that. He was always doing something to be proud of but he'll forever be a greaser unless his folks actually started to care for him, and even then, he'll always be an outcast, a delinquent. Johnny doesn't mind that though, he likes it the way it is, but he mainly would just like things to be different at home, but he's content with the gang. He was okay with them. Until his father dies. His old man had always treated him like shit anyway, but there was something inside that was crushed. Dad would sometimes help little Johnny out, it was his mother that had made things worse for him. After his death, Johnny couldn't cope much anymore, he was used to being able to, but now his emotions were out of control. He starts to spiral downwards. The gang is with him the whole time and tries their hardest to keep him at his best, but Johnny becomes irrational, too unpredictable for the gang to even understand but Johnny doesn't go down alone, he brings someone with him.

I WILL NEVER FALL FOR YOU by yummylittlepeachbabe

My life has alway been surrounded by people that love each other but never around people who truly love me. Growing up the youngest boy of a family of 6 boys and a single mom hasn't been easy. My life hasn't always been picture perfect being the only brother with a different dad hasn't been easy. After all my brother fathers died my mom was destroyed and met my dad she had me and they broke up. My dad lives in london and my mom lives in america so for a big part of my life I lived with my dad but when I started high school I moved to live with my mom for a better life and that's when I joined this chaotic family as an outsider and a foreigner. Keeping to myself I got close to my brothers but never close enough. Being an outcast is all I ever will be a broody outcast the quiet pothead that you should stay away from and that one brother whos always lonely and by himself. All my brothers have girlfriends and my ma has my step dad and I have no one and that's fine because I don't believe in love and when they all get their heartbroken they can't blame anyone but themselves. Moving to a new city has never been easy for me. My dads in the army so it's just me and mom moving from new York to California isn't gonna be easy moving to a new high school is never a good idea but if it means a fresh start from my past I'll do anything to run away from it.

Siblings by Hjc0703

[Completed] There's three of us. Triplets. We all have each other's backs. There's me, Maeve. The one with red eyes. People call me a murder. Satan. Evil. Anything really. All I cared about was not them. Certainly not them. Those people didn't matter to me. What mattered was my other two siblings. Everything I have ever done, was for them. Even if they don't realize it. Even if they think I was the big bad monster. To the world, I was a cold heartless monster but to my siblings? I was loving sister. I was there if one of them have a nightmare. I'm there for them. There's Damien. The oldest out of us. He's the one with white eyes. The one who people who also call Satan and evil and all of that bullshit. You ever wonder if those goddamn bullies got tired of bullying other people? I do. Not the point, stay focused Maeve. What was I saying? Oh right, Damien. He likes cars. Building, tearing them apart, spray painting them, anything about cars. Then there's Angel. Sweet, sweet Angel. She's the youngest out of the group. She has blue eyes, different from us. She's the lucky one, per say. The one who doesn't get bulled. She has the personality like a five year old but we love her to pieces. Me and Damien try to protect her against the evil's of the world. She shouldn't go through that like we did. At least she has a normal childhood, or some part of normal. We didn't have the best childhood growing up. Well, me and Damien didn't. Mother gave Angel the best childhood she ever wanted. Sometimes, only sometimes when she was drunk or whatever with her stupid boyfriend did she punish Angel. That was once every blue moon. She was convinced me and Damien had Satan in us. While Angel, well she thought that Angel was an angel from Heaven. Now, let me stop rambling. This story will be an emotional roller coaster. Especially since we get sent to live with our older half-brothers. Mentions of self-harm, abuse, rape, miscarriage, violence, cursing, suicide attempts.

Can You Keep A Secret? (The Outsiders Fan Fiction) by fleetwoodmacca

"You lied to me," He insinuated. I felt my heart leap to my throat, this can't be happening. "It was a mistake, everyone makes mistakes," my voice dropped. "Yes, but you make more than most people." "I-" "You hurt me; you worry everyone, everyone you get close to you hurt. Ever since Ma and Pa died you've been nothing but inconsiderate to everyone else. You hurt all of us with your lies." "Not on purpose," I whispered, "I never wanted to hurt you, I only wanted to-" Soda put his hands up to silence me. "Rosey-" "Please don't do this, Soda, I care about him." I heard panic tinging my own voice. He said nothing. ----------- Friends are the family you can choose, but sometimes, those friends are more like lovers than family. Rosemarie Curtis, Sadie Cade, Sodapop Curtis, Ponyboy Curtis, Johnny Cade, Darry Curtis, Dallas Winston, Steve Randle, and Two-bit Mathews. All greasers and the best of friends, inseparable at the least. It's always been this way; a gang, a tight knot group of people. Nobody thought anything could disrupt the perfect little imbalance of friendship that consisted in the gang. Especially love, or complicated relationships. Complicated meaning... hidden. How will their friendship stay on the straight and narrow when fate's gun is loaded with twists, ready to be fired at the 9 gang members? And the main question is; can you keep a secret? Because there are plenty to keep.

Anomalies ✔ by whoscountinganyway

"I am the textbook definition of in love with you." *** Castor Rex: He's snarky, quiet and mysterious. A secret keeper. He doesn't like his life to be on display. People avoid him, even if they respect him. Jasper Red: He's polite, nice and helpful. A open book. He likes filling his life with other people and their love. People love him, they can't help it. Because of his quiet nature, snarky smirks and sarcastic words Castor has always had a hard time when it came to making friends -and keeping them. Something Jazz doesn't struggle with. With Jazz's protective nature, shyness and many friends he doesn't need someone else to fill a spot in his life -at least, that's what he thought. Then they met. And that empty part in Jazz's heart felt a little bit bigger because he started to realize Cas could fill it. Cas sees him as a grinning, happy dork he has no chance with. Jazz sees him as a adorable, grumpy jock that now, is his. Castor wants to get through the school year as quietly as possible but with how loud Jazz loves, neither of them know if it's possible, and to make matters worse they're roommates for the rest of the year. It's only a matter of time before they come together or fall apart. *** As a private person, someone who doesn't share myself with others, I can say that learning how to interact with others is difficult. It's like baking, almost, you have to mix the right ingredients together, and if you add the wrong ones things can taste hideous even if they look good. It's a lot like our words. But I've mastered how to tell someone just a little about myself but doing it in a way that makes the person in front of me think they know a lot. Jasper, somehow, sees through this every fucking time and it's absolutely infuriating. He's never satisfied with just a little of me, with my hidden truth, and it's the most annoying thing I've ever experienced. *** @STESLARA made the second POV in her book 'Jasper Red's Anomaly'

The One And Only Outsider by DizzyDreamer_11

If I had to choose one word to describe my life in a nutshell, I'd choose...Hell. My dad was arrested for buying and selling drugs, my mom stopped caring for and about me when he was taken away. The only person who cares about my wellbeing is my grandmother. And she lives in a nursing home. Plus I'm bullied at school. EVERYDAY. Sounds a lot like hell if you ask me. It's because of the way I dress, the way I act, the type of music I listen to. You name it, they judge me on it. I don't really care what people think or say about me. I just want to be left alone. Garnet is a very quiet and mysterious girl. She doesn't have any friends, so she spends most of her time at the nursing home with her grandmother. She's very grateful for the love her grandmother gives her, but she's starting to want something more. A different kind of love. She never thought that anyone could give her that kind of love. At least not until she met Micah. Micah really likes Garnet, but she just doesn't believe it. Micah and Garnet become really good friends. Until feelings are revealed. In this book, you'll see what life is like for Garnet as...THE ONE AND ONLY OUTSIDER. ~*[COMPLETED]*~ X-WARNING-X This story is down right crappy. So, I apologize in advantage for how bad and cringe worthy this story is. I read back through it once I completed it, and cringed at almost every sentence I wrote. Some parts are actually worth reading, and others make me want to gag. So, I warned you. If you cringe/gag/puke from reading this book, I'm sorry. My writing is getting better though, I promise.

Ruin Me So You Can Save Yourself (Daryl Dixon X Male OC) by MIshaSatanHimself

Sam: I was raised the way that teaches you to be selfless. That's what I was doing my whole life. Taking care of my little brother when my parents couldn't or didn't want to, helping with chores, working, doing my best at school so I don't embarrass my family name, following my father's dreams and mothers expectations. Everything for them, to satisfy them, to please them. No one was ever satisfied with me though, I'm never good enough for no one. So as usual I bought a drink to reward myself for a once again perfect score on the exam. One drink turns into five and I find myself following some guy with pretty eyes. What I didn't know is that next time we meet I'm not going to be the one drunk and it's not going to be the last time I see him either. Quite the opposite, he'll manage to turn my life upside down, ruining it completely, and only the end of the world will be able to fix all of it. Daryl: When I was younger I used to think I was born with a curse in my blood, but then I understood that life is just a bitch. From my mother's death to surviving under my father's thumb and then jumping under Merle's. Whole my life I stood neck deep in shit, be it bird shit, my own shit or my family's. Every day is a stupid fight to not drown in that pool of shit, and for years the only thing keeping me floating were drugs and alcohol. But then, this bloody sunshine dropped into my life. After all the years of violence and roughness I grew to crave him like a secret drug. His gentle touch, his unconditional love and care. As much as my scarred soul craves it, this thing between us is crossing all the lines and breaking all the rules I knew. So I drown in ecstasy and weed even more, trying to figure myself out, so lost in my own bullshit that I didn't notice that his perfect life isn't as good as he says it is, and when I finally open my eyes, he's gone. He's fucking gone, and world is too, or at least the way we knew it.

I Fell in Love with a Bad Boy by Beautiful_Tragedy8

CRINGE WARNING! First book I ever wrote on here!! -- "Sometimes the person who you are willing to take a bullet for is the person behind the gun." I stood peering over the cold lifeless body that lay before my eyes. I had always thought of death the enemy, but right now, I blessed it upon the person who is now at peace. Sometimes you don't need to be the smartest, or the fastest, but you do need to be wisest. They say the blood runs deeper than water, and I believe it, because even though the people that we love can turn on us and begin to hate us, they are only human, meaning that soon they will begin to see how short life really is and how it is not to be wasted. People who seem perfect and they look like they have no floors'; they are the people who are suffering, like I was. But I found my savior in the most uncommon place. He was able to look through my mask, he saw the cracks, and tried to fix the broken girl that hid away deep inside the girl who only wanted to be seen as 'fine'. I slowly began to find comfort and safety in him, and I did the same to him. We were two broken people becoming whole. Someone once said when you pass, if you can count your true friends on one hand you are beyond lucky, and I even though I did not like the person that lay before me, I know that he once had true friends, including me. I'm a 17 year old girl who has suffered more than any other, beginning to believe that 'Hope' was just another word the people throw around. Until I fell in love with a badboy. Trailer to the side -------------------> Made By @Laura__1 Cover made by @Beautiful_Tragedy8 Copyright 2014

Can You Remember? (Sequel to Can You Keep A Secret?) by fleetwoodmacca

"I love you," Johnny murmured, clutching my wrist to the point I could not pull away no matter how much I tried. "Stop it," I snapped, "Stop saying that!" "But I do, I love you, I want you, I need you to remember," He was pleading now. "Stop, quit pretending-" "There is no pretending," Johnny said with absolute clarity. "I love you and I will love you until the day I die. You don't remember now, but you used to love me too Rosey. And I will love you until you love me again, even after I die, and if there is a life after this I will love you then, too." I stared at him as he poured his heart out; he was moving away, for once he wasn't trying to get me to love him. I was doing it myself. "Will you ever give up on this?" I asked. Johnny shrugged, "Someday, I suppose I'll give up, and sit in a rocking chair. But I'll probably be rocking fast, because I don't know what I'll do without you." ----------- Rosemarie Curtis' story has seemed to come to an end. Everything is lost. Nobody can forget. Nothing is the same. Now the gang seems to have to wrestle the past, rebuild on the ruins inside them. But sometimes life has a twisted way of bringing back something you've lost. For Rosemarie's story is just beginning. But there was no way the gang could scrape the earth clean, and keep thinking they could start again. Because even though Rosemarie is alive, her memories of the past are gone. Her mind had left them; she has now gone wild and wary. She remembers no feeling, no hurt, and no loving. Johnny must cope with losing his only love, while her thoughts swim between them, hidden under rocks, disappearing in weeds, and he fishes for them, dangling his own memories like bait and lures. But how can you love someone you don't remember loving? How can you remember something you don't want to remember? And how can the gang hold together when everything has fallen apart?

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Slide 1 of 10

The Rich Emo: Ouran High School Host Club cover

Daddy Issues - Johnnyboy cover

I WILL NEVER FALL FOR YOU cover

Can You Keep A Secret? (The Outsiders Fan Fiction) cover

Anomalies ✔ cover

The One And Only Outsider cover

Ruin Me So You Can Save Yourself (Daryl Dixon X Male OC) cover

I Fell in Love with a Bad Boy cover

Can You Remember? (Sequel to Can You Keep A Secret?) cover

The Rich Emo: Ouran High School Host Club

Loneliness. Depression. Broken. Scared. Devastated. Hopeless. Mournful. Disheartening. Bleak. Joyless. Somber. I have no one. Depression and Loneliness are the only things I feel. My family tries to make me happy, but I just put on a fake smile and cry about it in my room. They act like everything is alright, but everything is not. They KNOW I was devastated about Mom's murder. They KNOW I was heartbroken about Dad's sickness that eventually killed him. That's all I've thought about. Devastation and heartbroken. Just because of those two things. Never in my life I have been this devastating. Dayton, Hayden, Angel, or Monica know how to make me truly happy. Not even my own siblings know how to make me show a real smile. Suicide is all I can think about day to day and I've almost died because of that. DEPRESSION IS A REAL THING. NO ONE KNOWS HOW I FEEL EVERYDAY. NO ONE CAN JUDGE OTHERS ABOUT DEPRESSION OR EVEN MAKE JOKES ABOUT IT BECAUSE ITS A REAL THING. DEPRESSION HAS KILLED PEOPLE. EVERYONE IN MY LIFE JUDGES ME JUST BECAUSE I DON'T SMILE, LAUGH, HUG, OR DO ANYTHING NORMAL PEOPLE DO. I CUT MYSELF, I CRY, I YELL, I VENT, I PUSH PEOPLE OUT OF MY LIFE. Those are the things people are worried about me. "Go kill yourself and join your parents in hell." They say and I just shrug it off and find a private place to hide and cry it out. "I CAN'T DEAL WITH LIFE ANYMORE!!!!" I say and I use my sharp nails and cut myself then cry some more. A gun is buried within my arm for defense from my dad, but I use it in case I am tired of society. Then that's when I met the Host Club. They saw my sadness and made me a part of it to repay my debt for accidentally breaking a vase. I am now a Host for men to flatter them, but how can normal guys want me to be a Host when I wear lip earrings, eyeliner, chains, and have a gun in my arm? I'm the definition of Hell. Then he made me smile again, something that I thought I would never get back. Happiness.