Chasing Time

Chasing Time

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WpMetadataNoticeLast published Thu, Jul 25, 2013
I don't want to lose the time I have with her. I know there's not much left. She told the doctors to stop the treatment. That she didnt want to waist away the rest of her life in a white room with beeping monitors constantly reminding her of the dwindling time she had. I asked her why she did it. She smiled, put her arm around my shoulder and said she was chasing time. I was 15 then. This is our story.
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Words We sat on opposite sides of the room, she was asleep. I think he was exhausted, so was I,but we both didn't want to sleep. We couldn't sleep, maybe a bit scared that if we close our eyes then she will be gone. Nathan"I'll ask the nurses if they can organize a bed for you" Me" Am fine here" He didn't argue, for once he didn't try to control the situation. "You can get one for yourself" Nathan" I'll sleep next to her" For the next two days we spent waiting for her to wake up. Each day felt like a huge battle that we were losing, it felt like she was gone and maybe we both knew she was gone but we didn't want to admit it. Days turned into weeks, Nathan and I refused every suggestion the doctors made. Some days they said she was improving, would be taken to surgery then they would discover something new. It just felt like nothing was working, and our options were limited. Me" I can't stay here" He didn't answer me, I grabbed my things and went to the door. "Don't give up" He whispered, I turned around and looked at him. Me"I need to bring her toys here, I need to bring Mr Elephant, she needs her toys here." "I just need..." I bit my bottom lip fighting the tears "I'm sorry for everything" Pulling up in our drive way, my mind took me back to when Nate and I moved in here. The house has changed over the years, we have also grown up in a lot of ways. We were happy, we thought we had it all figured out and it turns out we knew nothing. I also never imagined myself here, in this house with him. Maybe subconsciously I know I don't belong here, maybe I am the reason my daughter is fighting for her life right now. My bad luck, why did I think I could be happy?. I drove back to the hospital and Nate was sleeping, I put the sandwich on the table then Mr Elephant next to Claire. Looking at them, I couldn't help but reminisce about the first time I met Nathan and how we got to this point in our lives. !

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