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Hilarious Texts

walkinginclouds

Reads 4,079,379
Votes 170,161
Parts 112
Time 26m

Reads 4,079,379
Votes 170,161
Parts 112
Time 26m

walkinginclouds

Random text fails that I stumbled upon while on the internet. I did not make any of these so all rights go to the people who actually made them and posted them. 

**WARNING: Sexual content and rude language so if you take offense to these please don't read.**All Rights Reserved

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Prodigy by RenaFreefall

Everyone knew Locke de Davies - the music genius. Not everyone knew Zane Roberts and he was fine with that. He certainly never expected to know Locke or meet him one cold October night. Nor did he imagine that Locke could become so solidly embedded in his life within a matter of months, disrupting it in ways Zane could never have foreseen - for both better, and for worse. Zane, after all, had a plan. He had his future laid out and nothing was going to stop it happening the way he saw it. But when Locke begins to push and pull him with an ever shifting flow of barely-stable emotions under a playful guise, Zane is forced to confront himself and decide. What does he really want? The future he planned? Or a prodigy? ~~~~~~~~ Posted in one go so there's no waiting around~ Short novella dedicated to my followers thus-far ~ WARNING: contains some strong language and mature themes. Cover image: mish-mash of google images

$Pack of the Northern Winds {book 1: Wolfdog Series} by Sodapop_$

Tanner and his pack are forced from they're shelter of a sled dog farm, in Yukon Alaska. They move into the forest and start a new life as wild dogs. Will they survive the dangers of the wild? And where more treacherous danger lurks. Will the pack handle this with order, or will the pack fall apart from the inside out? -"-"-"-"-"-"-"-"-"-"-"-"-"-"-"-"-"-"- Read book two "The Path to Safety"

The Outlaws Destiny by DezertFlower

Two former outlaws, Heyes and Curry, looks for peace and quiet in a town,but finds so much more. More or less forced to take a job involving the transfer of a bandit, they risk getting recognized and Heyes takes a fall head over heels. The halfbreed spitfire that leads their transfer party, makes their travel one of a kind, and she, against her own will, also takes a fall, head first ! Not needing the trouble of having feelings for the first time in her life, she takes on a role as the irascible spitfire .

Wendizzy's Writer Room by Wendizzy

In this book, you'll get a behind the scenes look at how your favorite characters were born, my creative process, and the dirty details never before revealed. Tex's Camp Q&A: Come sit by the fire and ask me whatever you'd like. We can roast marshmallows, tell scary stories, and hang out in the comments like a big, happy family. Gator's Backstage Pass: A place full of secrets. Learn the-sometimes embarrassing-details on how my wildest scenes came to life, facts about the characters, the process, and myself.

good luck, babe! || lynn loud by hxtssdifferent

'i don't like her, ok?!' 'oh you definitely do' ----------- you'd have to stop the world just to stop the feeling

Falling to Rise [Book 1 of Fate] by CATtheDrawer

Wielding the power of magic makes you a sorcerer. Being sorcerer is a crime against the kingdom of Emedo and its ally, Keuta. When Seto finds out he belongs to this race of sorcerers he realizes his life will never be the same. He'll always be looking out behind him. To keep his secret hidden, Seto must act like everyone else and spend one year in the Kingdom's armed forces. A task required of every young male. But there are rumors, rumors that the Prince of Emedo works in the army himself. As battles begin to break out against the Emedo kingdom, Seto does the unthinkable and save the Prince's life, exploiting that he is a sorcerer. Being an honorable man the Prince promises him anything in return. But instead of the well needed protection Seto could hope for, Seto asks for something else all together. Something that forces him and new friends to go against laws and royals in attempt to stop a grave mistake from happening. Though, how long can Seto just turn a blind eye and pretend other problems don't exist, how long will he let his fears take over? How long can he ignore being a sorcerer? Art (c): Me, aka CATtheDrawer on DeviantART

Stockpiling Supplies&Raising a Child in a Post-Apocalyptic World by DrawingCards by lirium36

Disclaimer: I do not own this story, this is just and heavily edited MTL. Full title: Stockpiling Supplies and Raising a Child in the Post-Apocalyptic World by Drawing Cards Original tittle: 我靠抽卡在废土世界囤货带崽 Raw: https://www.jjwxc.net/onebook.php?novelid=7917194 Author: Luo Xiaopai (洛小湃) Article1: When Lin Ran wakes up, she finds herself transported into a post-apocalyptic novel from a pink-themed website, becoming one of the many doormats of the female lead, Mo Shuyu. However, Mo Shuyu merely uses her. After a base where Mo Shuyu resides falls to ruin, Mo Shuyu brings her child to seek refuge with Lin Ran. Lin Ran thinks her happiness has finally arrived, but little does she know that Mo Shuyu is already involved with the leader of her previous base and plans to have Lin Ran eliminated as soon as possible. During a zombie extermination mission, Lin Ran is "accidentally" shot and killed by her own people. Even in her last moments, Lin Ran wonders who will protect Mo Shuyu and her child once she's gone. Reading this story, Lin Ran is baffled. It's the apocalypse, and she's still being a doormat? No wonder she met an early demise. Lin Ran decides she won't follow the original plot. Why should she care about Mo Shuyu's fate? Stockpiling supplies and honing her skills are far more important. Ignoring the female lead's affairs, Lin Ran spends her days busily buying and preparing. When the apocalypse arrives, Lin Ran alternates between staying home, enjoying her stocked supplies, and going out to kill zombies, using randomly drawn cards for survival. Her days are busy but fulfilling. However, she notices the mother and daughter living across the hall seem quite pitiful, so she often leaves them some food. The little girl always thanks her with starry eyes. As Lin Ran gradually becomes acquainted with the woman and child, she learns that the woman is none other than Mo Shuyu. Lin Ran's attitude towards them turns icy. Rest in the inf

Soulmates by kaylakiksbutt

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Nocturne | ONC 2024 by giveitameaning

'There was a stain on the floor that used to be a vampire, and Aaron Evans was starting to feel like he really wasn't being paid enough.' ***** Aaron is only in Supernatural Investigations for the pay. It's stressful and dangerous, and he's certain it's aging him beyond his years. When the remains of a high-ranking vamp from London's most powerful underground gang show up on his turf, even the excellent pay seems like poor recompense for trying to prevent all-out war in his city. All he has to work with are his wits, some stolen evidence, and an enigmatic vampire investigator who appeared seemingly out of nowhere. Nikolai Meier is surly, uncooperative, but frustratingly competent, so Aaron has no choice but to make it work. But Nikolai has secrets, and those secrets may prove just as deadly as failure. *** #ONC2024 Entry for Prompt 56: 'In a world where humans and magical creatures coexist, a detective must solve a murder case that threatens to plunge the two communities into war.' Cover Artwork is my own.

အနောက်မြောက်အရပ်မှပန်းလေးတစ်ပွင့်နှင့်သူ၏အသည်းရတနာမွေးစားသား by lanni_ways

တစ်ပိုင်းချင်း စာပြန်စစ်ပြီး ပုံတွေ ပြန်ထည့်၊ ရှင်းပြထားတဲ့ မှတ်စုလေးတွေ ပြန်ထည့်ပြီး တင်ပေးပါမယ်ရှင်။ စိတ်ဝင်စားတဲ့စာဖတ်သူတွေအနေနဲ့ မပျက်ခင် ဖတ်ကြပါနော်။

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Slide 1 of 10

Pack of the Northern Winds {book 1: Wolfdog Series} cover

The Outlaws Destiny cover

Wendizzy's Writer Room cover

good luck, babe! || lynn loud cover

Falling to Rise [Book 1 of Fate] cover

Stockpiling Supplies&Raising a Child in a Post-Apocalyptic World by DrawingCards cover

Soulmates cover

Nocturne | ONC 2024 cover

အနောက်မြောက်အရပ်မှပန်းလေးတစ်ပွင့်နှင့်သူ၏အသည်းရတနာမွေးစားသား cover

Prodigy

Everyone knew Locke de Davies - the music genius. Not everyone knew Zane Roberts and he was fine with that. He certainly never expected to know Locke or meet him one cold October night. Nor did he imagine that Locke could become so solidly embedded in his life within a matter of months, disrupting it in ways Zane could never have foreseen - for both better, and for worse. Zane, after all, had a plan. He had his future laid out and nothing was going to stop it happening the way he saw it. But when Locke begins to push and pull him with an ever shifting flow of barely-stable emotions under a playful guise, Zane is forced to confront himself and decide. What does he really want? The future he planned? Or a prodigy? ~~~~~~~~ Posted in one go so there's no waiting around~ Short novella dedicated to my followers thus-far ~ WARNING: contains some strong language and mature themes. Cover image: mish-mash of google images