Forever Lost (Forever 1)

I can not say anymore.
I physically can't.
My voice is cracking in sympathy with my heart.
He mustn’t hear me cry.
He mustn’t.
Not again.
Never again.
Never there to hear it.
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Stunned and appalled by me.
By me.
I wish I could turn around and apologize.
Make him forget everything that just happened.
But it was to late now.
Far past the time of late.
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I walk away laughing like the cruel person I'm trying to be for his sake.
Every insane laugh a strangled cry.
I walk away knowing he hates me.
Knowing he can't see the tears running down my cheeks.
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After a while, time becomes meaningless.
And it doesn’t matter who sees me and what they think.
All that matters is getting away.
Trying to outrun the pain that will follow me everywhere.