The Lost Pretender

The Lost Pretender

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As i experience young love. I actually learned many lessons, to help me be a mature person and understand people. As we grow up, we'll learn that the people we least to let us down, are the ones who will push us at the end of the line, the ones who left us hanging in the air as we fall down tearfully in the place we call pain. You'll have your heart fell into pieces. As you break others heart as well. But i say..... Forgive, as if you've never been hurt by the mistakes of others. Love, as if you've never been loved in return, and experience to be jailed in pain. For your sake, don't be afraid to take risks. Make mistakes, be in love, and most of all, live in the moment of happiness. Because every moment you spent with hatred and frustration is a moment wasted. And you will never get it back no matter how hard you try. And if you let anger rule your life, try to remember and understand the reason behind.
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I really don't remember the last time I was happy even my childhood memories I honestly don't remember having a bubbly childhood like any other kids ,my life has always been miserable and honestly learned how to adapt to that. you honestly smile over something stupid , laugh over a cracked joke for a few minutes and there's that thing that triggers that you just had enough and you should stop and your mood just goes down and there's nothing to do about it. It's like the inner you always wakes up fucked up more than you are fucked up and tells you that you just sad and you gonna stay that way until you take out the anger on something or someone but you know what something always has to be the blade, permanent scars on how bad it was ,a daily reminder on how life is and how sadness over comes you at times actually not at times but everytime and on the someone part , you hurt people that honestly try to reach out to you and show you how much they care about you but you just had it with everyone and everything and you want no one caring about your feelings and giving a fuck about you because you can't reciprocate the feelings. You can't find yourself caring about anyone else but you but still can't care about yourself enough to feel safe or protected , he was the only one that made me feel alive and I lost him but what hurts more is losing someone and only realizing later what they meant to you.

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