Funny Randomness
- Reads 2,982
- Votes 232
- Parts 92
Ongoing7m
Last published Fri, Dec 30, 2016
Who says insults can't be funny?
Go ahead!
You know you want to use them!
Your own personal book of insults, teenage posts, zodiac signs, pickup lines and more!!!
And now Facts and Bloopers!!!!
Coming Very Soon !!!!!
All Rights Reserved
#315
insults
Join the largest storytelling communityGet personalized story recommendations, save your favourites to your library, and comment and vote to grow your community.
You may also like
Hotline Fling
Can you fall in love with someone from the sound of their voice? No, that's silly... Eight years after losing her parents, Juneau's aimless drifting is a far cry from the stable, love-centered life her heart craves. Buried under student loan debt, she becomes an adult phone line worker. Instant sparks fly with her new client, Damian, a police sergeant whose investigations leave him jaded and burned out. Within the frenetic energy of New York City, Juneau and Damian are unaware of how closely connected their lives are, but repeated hot, anonymous conversations demand both to investigate if they've developed a true connection or if it's just a hotline fling. Formerly It's Just Phone Sex. Original 2021 story was edited & refreshed in June 2023. This story is complete & free. Thank you for finding it! Humbled by: *2022 Watty's Bootcamp. Many thanks to my mentor @TeaNHeartache. *Featured on Wattpad's Editor's Picks *Featured on Romance, New Adult, WattpadAfterDark, Humor, Creators Highest ranks: #1 cute, humor, newadult, phone, romcom, drama, matureaudience, maturethemes, newyork, phonesex, sexscenes, eroticromance, policeofficer, bravetogether, & youngadultromance #2 hot, comedy, steamy, funny, angst #5 youngadult, sexy #39 love #74 romanceComplete
TSAMS x reader || Oneshots ||
‼️WARNING‼️ This does contain inappropriate language, content, and much more. This is meant to be 18+!! So, if you're not 18 or more and still read this anyways, you brought this on yourself!!
The Twelve Zodiac Signs
I had a dream. A really funny dream. It had to do with the zodiac signs. All of them had personas. It was great. At least I thought so. So I decided to make my dream a reality. Without farther ado, here are their stories told in their own words... **** Updated Summary: Each chapter is told from one of the zodiac signs. It's all about them coming together and living under one roof from the beginning of a school year to the end of one. Each of the signs learn something about friendship or love along the way. Most importantly, they learn about surviving each other and their differences. It's a comical relieve from all the rest of the stories. Please enjoy. And it's completed.Complete
My Shades of Gray
Isabella Harper, a nineteen-year-old, lost her color vision after her sister's suicide. She shut down herself from everyone and remained in her world until her parents force her to go to college. She couldn't get into a hotshot university since she was home-schooled. Isabella settled with a community college in Dunwoody, Georgia. Trying to live a normal life with her vision, Isabella is dragged into a whole new world. Everything happens for a reason. She meets new people, experiences new emotions, and discovers secrets and the reason behind her sister's death. Now she wants revenge. Battling demons from her past, going to underground fights and nightclubs, hacking into a porn site, and on top of everything, there's Hunter Armstrong. Warning ⚠️ This book contains dark themes, mature and triggering content, i.e. description/talk of suicide, rape, porn, and mature language. ~^~^~^~ His lips cupped mine, and a swell of warmth unfurled in my heart. It was gentle and soft, something I never expected from a guy like him. He moved his right hand from my cheek to my waist, tugging me against him, and molded our bodies together. A wave of electricity went down to my core when he licked my lips. "Open your mouth, Bella." His commanding husky voice against my lips jolted my heart, and I followed his order like a slave. With no control, a moan erupted from my throat as his tongue met mine. It was barely audible, but I knew he heard it when he smiled against my lips. He swept my hair from my face to my back and gathered them in his fist. He tugged my head back, deepening the kiss, and my heart thrashed in my chest. At that moment, I didn't need drugs to know what being high felt like because his lips were enough to send me on nine clouds. Just once and I was addicted to it. If this is how being kissed feels like, then fuck, I've wasted a lot of time. ~^~^~^~ FEATURED ON: @Romance (Romantic Suspense) HIGHEST RANKINGS: #1 Goodgirl, Darkpast #2 Badboy #5 NewaduComplete
It just... happened? (boyxboy)
Before I knew it my shirt was torn away from my torso and tossed on the floor, Charlie's doing the same. Our kiss intensified and I felt him groan against my lips. I swear to god, this boy is making out with me like his life depends on it! And that's when reality punched me in the gut... the words 'this boy' kept running through my head over and over again until it got through the thick fog of vodlka and whatever else was in those stupid drinks. I, Ace Loughty, was kissing a guy. A fucking guy. A fucking straight guy named Charlie Simmons who of course had to be one of the most popular dickheads in Meadow Ridge High. I am so unbelievably fucked. ----- 17 year old Ace Loughty was never one longing to be in the spotlight. In fact, he craved the exact opposite: being left alone. When Ace was 13, the tragic death of his younger sister Eleanor caused him to rapidly gain popularity and pitiful looks. He hated the attention. All of a sudden everyone wanted to be friends with the dead girls brother, they'd promise Ace he would never be alone that they would always be there for him, which he of course knew was untrue, they're all just hungry for attention. Sometime later the school moved onto other drama and gossip, things started to die down and people finally left Ace alone. He moved on with his life, convincing himself he was over Eleanor's death and as quick as the whole thing started, he returned to being lonely, weird, quiet nobody Ace. Just how he liked it. That is until 4 years later when he found himself sprawled out on a bed. With Charlie Simmons hovering over him. Charlie Simmons who was kissing Ace like he would die if he ever dared to stop. Which was all too true. Without kissing Ace, Charlie was as good as dead. *WARNING*: This story will contain themes of severe depression, suicide, abuse and somewhat graphic depiction of self harm. If any of these things may trigger you please rethink reading this story!! Started: January 21st 2020Complete
Connections | ✔️
[COMPLETE] Sorry this may be cringe, it was written very long ago A seemingly ordinary, working college girl meets a cool, undeniably sexy boy with millions of followers at his feet. How will their completely different lives allow, or prevent them from getting what they want? Expect some drama, flirty lines, steamy scenes, funny best friends, and perhaps, an overall epic love connection. ~ Carter came around the corner as his eyes darkened with a predatory gaze. Oh no. He took a step forward, minimalizing the distance with every dominating stride, as I froze in my spot. My breath hitched as his arms finally encircled my waist and his eyes locked with mine. In one swift motion, he flipped my body so my back was pressed against his chest and hands gripped the curve of my hips. "What game are you trying to play at Valerie?" he spoke in a husky voice. Goosebumps danced along my skin as his hot breath fanned against the shell of my ear and his fingertips lit a trail of blazing heat along the length of my arm. Mentally shaking myself from the trance of that which is Carter Bryson, I tilted my head towards him and whispered; "One where you'll lose." Quickly escaping his hold on me before the tension became unbearable, I spun on my heel to face him and slowly backed away towards the exit. "Good luck though." I added mischievously. With a smirk and a devilish glint in his eyes that could even give hell a run for its money, he replied; "I'm not a player though, baby. I'm the gamemaker." ~ ❗️Mature content. Reader discretion advised. Started 29/09/18. Finished 16/12/18. This book is not to be copied or reproduced in any way.Complete
Employed Epoch Of Alex Brook | Book 1| Humor-Romance (Completed)
"So, let me get this straight. You stomped all over his paperwork?" She started. "Not intentionally, but yes," I confirmed it. "Threw a drink in his face?" She added. "Expensive red wine." I described. "Rammed into his car with yours deliberately?" she counted on her third finger. "Um...I'm not proud of that one," I said cringing. "And called him offensive names?" She ended the list and I winced. "Twice." I specified. "And you're still alive?" She blinked, looking genuinely surprised. "Geez, don't be dramatic or anything..." I frowned at her hyperbolic statement. "Maybe he's keeping you around to get revenge." She suggested. Possible. I wouldn't put it past him. "I didn't know alright!" I exclaimed. "Let's hope that excuse is acceptable.." She was merely amused. "Working with my new boss is going to be a piece of work." ** Synopsis: When the CEO of Signature Heights: Jensen Black, and a stubborn employee: Alexandra Brook, clash, it's a battle of wits & a war of perseverance. They are both dead set on making each other's lives hell, but when the story progresses they just might learn that first impressions could be deceiving. As circumstances reveal their true selves and opinions change, things could get complicated especially when suddenly feelings get involved. Who would be the first to concede? Maybe it's not that simple to forgive your archnemesis and maybe it'll result in some hilarious consequences... ** Book 1 of a two-part series (completed).High Rankings: # Funny, # Humor, # Comedy, # Romance, #Billionaire Amazing book, I adore your writing style, and I really enjoyed these characters and story -Reader Fantastic story, believably flawed characters and deft humour makes for a very engaging read, I could barely put it down to feed my children -Reader **Complete
Love over contract
***Completed*** *Mature Content Warning* TW: Car accident, Depression, sexual content His touch made me shiver as I couldn't take my eyes off of his, trailing down at his lips. We were so close again. Closer than anytime before. „I-.",I started to stop anything we both were going to regret. „Shhh. Don't say anything",he said against my lips as our nosetips brushed agains each other. „Have you found your dresses?",he asked as his thumb brushed over my lips making me weak in my knees. I nodded softly looking at his eyes wich were attached to my lips. „I can't wait to see you in them",he whispered against my lips before placing soft kisses on the edge of them. I closed my eyes breathed out loud in pleasure. His teasing wasn't as useful as he thought. My patience won. „Your patience is kiling me","The contract",I whispered."Fuck that contract"he bursted and pulled me closer by the waist before pressing his lips on mine. ---------------------------- Delana Celine Harvey a 18 year old girl, faces the hart consequences of losing her supporting and loving family due to a car accident. After moving from family member to family member she decided to stay with her oldest Aunt and her family. Her expectations of living with them and going into medical school shattered after she found out that her Aunt and Uncle had planned an arranged marriage for her, with the 25 year old billionaire's son Blaine Ace, promising that he would take good care of her. He was a well known men, a typical men that got chased by women because of his attractive looks and money. He is like everyone else would imagine arrogant and self centered. The fact that both were forces into the marriage made it hart for the two completely different personalities to get along. Her calmness and self control drives him crazy, but also wakes his interest in her.Complete
School And What We Do In It
"It is really funny and high key relatable." - GowriNandanag (Completed/editing) **** This book is about all the weird things teachers do and ask us to do. It also contains too sassy comebacks, weird dance moves, quite a few awkward silences and a whole lot of laughs. Find out in this book, the problems school gives us, the heartbreaks and the love and hate for the teachers and homework. And maybe, stay tuned for, a little Valentine's Day romance! Join us, the grade 7 class of 2018, on this roller coaster ride we call, 'school life.' **** Highest rankings: #1 in #Lolmoments Finished : 2.1.2019 This story can also be found on @Humour's profile reading list: Young. Dumb. And Full of Fun. Cover made by @geminigraphicsComplete
SIX MONTHS | ZODIAC STORY *DISCONTINUED*
No one wants to be a stranger, especially not in a house full of complete strangers. So, what happens when you put together 24 Zodiacs into a mansions and allow them to do the most insane, yet amazing things in the world? Simple; chaos, love, friendships, enemies and a whole lot of drama! Read as you journey with your sign through a stressful experience of uncovering their importance in a world that has told them fiction. AMIEEGRACE © | 2019 ~ all signs consist of both genders to allow more diversity and also so everyone can relate ;) ~Complete
Can you fall in love with someone from the sound of their voice? No, that's silly... Eight years after losing her parents, Juneau's aimless drifting is a far cry from the stable, love-centered life her heart craves. Buried under student loan debt, she becomes an adult phone line worker. Instant sparks fly with her new client, Damian, a police sergeant whose investigations leave him jaded and burned out. Within the frenetic energy of New York City, Juneau and Damian are unaware of how closely connected their lives are, but repeated hot, anonymous conversations demand both to investigate if they've developed a true connection or if it's just a hotline fling. Formerly It's Just Phone Sex. Original 2021 story was edited & refreshed in June 2023. This story is complete & free. Thank you for finding it! Humbled by: *2022 Watty's Bootcamp. Many thanks to my mentor @TeaNHeartache. *Featured on Wattpad's Editor's Picks *Featured on Romance, New Adult, WattpadAfterDark, Humor, Creators Highest ranks: #1 cute, humor, newadult, phone, romcom, drama, matureaudience, maturethemes, newyork, phonesex, sexscenes, eroticromance, policeofficer, bravetogether, & youngadultromance #2 hot, comedy, steamy, funny, angst #5 youngadult, sexy #39 love #74 romance
More detailsContent Guidelines