Funny Randomness

Reads 2,898
Votes 232
Parts 92
Time 7m

Reads 2,898
Votes 232
Parts 92
Time 7m

funny insults jokes pick-uplines zodiacs

Who says insults can't be funny?

Go ahead!

You know you want to use them!

Your own personal book of insults, teenage posts, zodiac signs, pickup lines and more!!! 

And now Facts and Bloopers!!!!
Coming Very Soon !!!!!All Rights Reserved

funny insults jokes pick-uplines zodiacs

Table of contents

92 parts

#926insults

Content Guidelines

You may also like

The Geek's Guide to Surviving High School by BhostGusters

Have you ever needed just a guide to tell you what to do when life gets too hard? To survive High School in particular? Well, listen to what I've got for you! Let me guide you on this long treacherous journey called High School! I guarantee you that my sarcastic charisma and witty jokes will never leave you bored. My awesome, snazzy, fabulousness will leave you speechless... or maybe just making you randomly laugh out loud. Which would be pretty awkward, because everyone would stare at you... Come now youngling, hold my hand and we will climb the stairs of High School together.

Our Chemistry || ✔️ by TheRealLorraineMoore

Who knew that love could blossom in Chemistry class? When Harper and Alec engage in a mega pickup line battle, what would this little flirting lead to? Read OUR CHEMISTRY to discover the cute incidents of an ordinary teenage couple! *** "Do you like sleeping?" He said. I nodded. "Me too! We should do it together sometime." He smirked, challenging me to say a better pickup line. When I didn't say anything he laughed. "Are you a scientist? Cause I would do you on a table, periodically." He whispered in my ear, his deep voice vibrating in my mind. I blushed. I shook my head and looked at him. Rolling my eyes ever so slightly and smiling seductively while flicking his nose, I said, "Gosh, You have such a dirty mind." He blushed for a moment at the sudden touch on his nose, but the smirk eventually came back. "I don't have a dirty mind, sweetheart. I just got a sexy imagination." *** Reviews: "It's really cute for a short story... I'm impressed there are no grammatical mistakes...Nice ;)" By @pattachan, a beautiful person! "Hey! I thought your story was short and sweet and entertaining! 😀 I enjoyed it!" By @spratelymac, whose books I've come to adore. *** Read this story, and don't forget to VOTE!!❤️ Completed ✔️ Kinda immature but bear with me! I was a kid with no idea what love is, when I wrote this😂 Warnings ⚠︎ A little swearing but no larger mature themes All rights reserved Copyright©2018 Lorraine Moore

At 24 years old, Audrey is slowly achieving her dreams. A teacher, working in a challenging, rough-around-the-edges high school, every day is different. Even if it means that occasionally the sports shed burns down, or the police have to make an almost weekly appearance. Her best friend is also a teacher, the life of the party, and the best person to debrief over a glass of wine or three with. She had a handsome and hardworking boyfriend, and a cute little place to call her own. Always ready to play by the rules, Audrey is reliable and respectable, if not a bit boring. But when her life starts to go off the rails, she has some scary decisions to make. She opts to do something completely out of her comfort zone, and just see where it leads her. And to who... A love story about second chances. ¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤ "How dare you! I wouldn't touch you with a ten foot pole!" How was he getting under my skin so easily? "That's a pity. I have a ten foot pole I was so keen to show you. I bet I could change your mind." He was enjoying this way too much, and I wasn't going to hang around and let him taunt me any longer. I turned and started packing my things, silently fuming that he was getting off on making me angry. I felt him moving behind me as I worked, and suddenly he was behind me, whispering in my ear. "It would be so easy to unbutton these silly little shorts of yours... and just bend you over the table right now." My body stiffened and stood straight up, my cheeks now the colour of cherries. I stood still, barely breathing, as he traced a finger down my spine. Then it stopped. I heard him back away. And then the library door jolted shut, leaving me in silence again.

My Perfect Mistake | #Wattys2016 | by infinity_and_beyond3

~COMPLETED~ | This story is being slowly edited. "As much as you want to plan your life, it has a way of surprising you with unexpected things that will make you happier than you originally planned. And that's what you call God's will." I gazed down at my swollen stomach, the place where my baby was growing and being kept safe, and gently rubbed it. A smile slowly formed onto my lips. "This baby is my perfect mistake." ********* Anabelle Marie Thompson is just your typical average teenager, except she studies hard and values books more than TV. She's just trying to get through her Senior year, so she can graduate with high honors and go to her dream school, Stanford, to become a lawyer. One night, instead of reading her favorite book, her friend Lianne Young, drags her to Sean Walker's party (aka the hottest guy in the whole school). One thing lead to another and she ends up having a quickie with Sean Walker. Little did Anabelle know that her life was about to change forever... Copyright © 2014-2016 by Gabriella Luciano ********* Reader's Thoughts: "Wow. I love this book!!! Like, OMG moments all the time." -ElexisWollam "MY FAVORITE BOOK. I DON'T EVEN LIKE READING BOOKS TIL NOW READING IS LIFE WEN IT COMES TO THIS BOOK ❗️" -iwiddajuicee "This is honestly the cutest teen pregnancy story ever ❤️" -the_star_in_thenight "I love your story so much! This is why I look forward to living a new day. It's beautiful, modest, and pure. A unique love that blossoms each day that passes. I just want to thank you because our passion in writing is beautiful and endearing." -Lilligee "This book is AMAZING!!" -whitesugar97 "This is now officially the best story I've read." -jtmarie #Wattys2016

COMPLETED✅ Two high school teenagers finding themselves, analyzing this ever changing world, and building love. This is the type of love you wish you found in high school but probably know way too well that it only exists as fiction. Today I'm turning my fiction to reality. ❣️•••❣️ Excerpt: Just as I was about to seek shelter under some building's roof, the tires of a car come to a halt, I wonder who might pity the lonely girl walking in the rain. The passenger window rolls down, and I spot the most unexpected person seated behind the wheel. "Get in" comes out his voice, and I must've stood there agape for a few moments because next comes his rhetorical question. "Are you getting in or continuing walking in the rain?" Eyebrows raised expectantly. He sounds annoyed, like he regrets his decision to ever stop and help me. ❣️•••❣️ #5 in cynical #2 in loveandfriendship #1 in opinionated #4 in ihatelife #10 in nerdgirl #10 in HighschoolRomance #26 in GoodGirlBadBoy *contains mature themes. *contains cursing.

It just... happened? (boyxboy) by leaa4500

Before I knew it my shirt was torn away from my torso and tossed on the floor, Charlie's doing the same. Our kiss intensified and I felt him groan against my lips. I swear to god, this boy is making out with me like his life depends on it! And that's when reality punched me in the gut... the words 'this boy' kept running through my head over and over again until it got through the thick fog of vodlka and whatever else was in those stupid drinks. I, Ace Loughty, was kissing a guy. A fucking guy. A fucking straight guy named Charlie Simmons who of course had to be one of the most popular dickheads in Meadow Ridge High. I am so unbelievably fucked. ----- 17 year old Ace Loughty was never one longing to be in the spotlight. In fact, he craved the exact opposite: being left alone. When Ace was 13, the tragic death of his younger sister Eleanor caused him to rapidly gain popularity and pitiful looks. He hated the attention. All of a sudden everyone wanted to be friends with the dead girls brother, they'd promise Ace he would never be alone that they would always be there for him, which he of course knew was untrue, they're all just hungry for attention. Sometime later the school moved onto other drama and gossip, things started to die down and people finally left Ace alone. He moved on with his life, convincing himself he was over Eleanor's death and as quick as the whole thing started, he returned to being lonely, weird, quiet nobody Ace. Just how he liked it. That is until 4 years later when he found himself sprawled out on a bed. With Charlie Simmons hovering over him. Charlie Simmons who was kissing Ace like he would die if he ever dared to stop. Which was all too true. Without kissing Ace, Charlie was as good as dead. *WARNING*: This story will contain themes of severe depression, suicide, abuse and somewhat graphic depiction of self harm. If any of these things may trigger you please rethink reading this story!! Started: January 21st 2020

**FREE STORY + paid bonus content** Can you fall in love with someone from the sound of their voice? No, that's silly... Eight years after losing her parents, Juneau's aimless drifting is a far cry from the stable, love-centered life her heart craves. Buried under student loan debt, she becomes an adult phone line worker. Instant sparks fly with her new client, Damian, a police sergeant whose investigations leave him jaded and burned out. Within the frenetic energy of New York City, Juneau and Damian are unaware of how closely connected their lives are, but repeated hot, anonymous conversations demand both to investigate if they've developed a true connection or if it's just a hotline fling. Formerly It's Just Phone Sex. Original 2021 story was edited & refreshed in June 2023. This story is complete & free. Only bonus chapters have paywall. Thank you for finding it! Humbled by: *2022 Watty's Bootcamp. Many thanks to my mentor @TeaNHeartache. *Featured on Wattpad's Editor's Picks *Featured on Romance, New Adult, WattpadAfterDark, Humor, Creators Highest ranks: #1 cute, humor, newadult, phone, romcom, drama, matureaudience, maturethemes, newyork, phonesex, sexscenes, eroticromance, policeofficer, bravetogether, & youngadultromance #2 hot, comedy, steamy, funny, angst #5 youngadult, sexy #39 love #74 romance

***Completed*** *Mature Content Warning* TW: Car accident, Depression, sexual content His touch made me shiver as I couldn't take my eyes off of his, trailing down at his lips. We were so close again. Closer than anytime before. „I-.",I started to stop anything we both were going to regret. „Shhh. Don't say anything",he said against my lips as our nosetips brushed agains each other. „Have you found your dresses?",he asked as his thumb brushed over my lips making me weak in my knees. I nodded softly looking at his eyes wich were attached to my lips. „I can't wait to see you in them",he whispered against my lips before placing soft kisses on the edge of them. I closed my eyes breathed out loud in pleasure. His teasing wasn't as useful as he thought. My patience won. „Your patience is kiling me","The contract",I whispered."Fuck that contract"he bursted and pulled me closer by the waist before pressing his lips on mine. ---------------------------- Delana Celine Harvey a 18 year old girl, faces the hart consequences of losing her supporting and loving family due to a car accident. After moving from family member to family member she decided to stay with her oldest Aunt and her family. Her expectations of living with them and going into medical school shattered after she found out that her Aunt and Uncle had planned an arranged marriage for her, with the 25 year old billionaire's son Blaine Ace, promising that he would take good care of her. He was a well known men, a typical men that got chased by women because of his attractive looks and money. He is like everyone else would imagine arrogant and self centered. The fact that both were forces into the marriage made it hart for the two completely different personalities to get along. Her calmness and self control drives him crazy, but also wakes his interest in her.

Isabella Harper, a nineteen-year-old, lost her color vision after her sister's suicide. She shut down herself from everyone and remained in her world until her parents force her to go to college. She couldn't get into a hotshot university since she was home-schooled. Isabella settled with a community college in Dunwoody, Georgia. Trying to live a normal life with her vision, Isabella is dragged into a whole new world. Everything happens for a reason. She met new people, experiences new emotions, and discovers secrets and the reason behind her sister's death. Now she wants revenge. Battling demons from her past, going to underground fights and nightclubs, hacking into a porn site, and on top of everything, there's Hunter Armstrong. Warning ⚠️ This book contains dark themes, mature and triggering content, i.e. description/talk of suicide, rape, porn, and mature language. ~^~^~^~ His lips cupped mine, and a swell of warmth unfurled in my heart. It was gentle and soft, something I never expected from a guy like him. He moved his right hand from my cheek to my waist, tugging me against him, and molded our bodies together. A wave of electricity went down to my core when he licked my lips. "Open your mouth, Bella." His commanding husky voice against my lips jolted my heart, and I followed his order like a slave. With no control, a moan erupted from my throat as his tongue met mine. It was barely audible, but I knew he heard it when he smiled against my lips. He swept my hair from my face to my back and gathered them in his fist. He tugged my head back, deepening the kiss, and my heart thrashed in my chest. At that moment, I didn't need drugs to know what being high felt like because his lips were enough to send me on nine clouds. Just once and I was addicted to it. If this is how being kissed feels like, then fuck, I've wasted a lot of time. ~^~^~^~ FEATURED ON: @Romance (Romantic Suspense) HIGHEST RANKINGS: #1 Goodgirl, Darkpast #2 Badboy #5 Newadult

Employed Epoch Of Alex Brook | Book 1| Humor-Romance (Completed) by vineethereader

"So, let me get this straight. You stomped all over his paperwork?" She started. "Not intentionally, but yes," I confirmed it. "Threw a drink in his face?" She added. "Expensive red wine." I described. "Rammed into his car with yours deliberately?" she counted on her third finger. "Um...I'm not proud of that one," I said cringing. "And called him offensive names?" She ended the list and I winced. "Twice." I specified. "And you're still alive?" She blinked, looking genuinely surprised. "Geez, don't be dramatic or anything..." I frowned at her hyperbolic statement. "Maybe he's keeping you around to get revenge." She suggested. Possible. I wouldn't put it past him. "I didn't know alright!" I exclaimed. "Let's hope that excuse is acceptable.." She was merely amused. "Working with my new boss is going to be a piece of work." ** Synopsis: When the CEO of Signature Heights: Jensen Black, and a stubborn employee: Alexandra Brook, clash, it's a battle of wits & a war of perseverance. They are both dead set on making each other's lives hell, but when the story progresses they just might learn that first impressions could be deceiving. As circumstances reveal their true selves and opinions change, things could get complicated especially when suddenly feelings get involved. Who would be the first to concede? Maybe it's not that simple to forgive your archnemesis and maybe it'll result in some hilarious consequences... ** Book 1 of a two-part series (completed).High Rankings: # Funny, # Humor, # Comedy, # Romance, #Billionaire Amazing book, I adore your writing style, and I really enjoyed these characters and story -Reader Fantastic story, believably flawed characters and deft humour makes for a very engaging read, I could barely put it down to feed my children -Reader **

The Geek's Guide to Surviving High School

Have you ever needed just a guide to tell you what to do when life gets too hard? To survive High School in particular? Well, listen to what I've got for you! Let me guide you on this long treacherous journey called High School! I guarantee you that my sarcastic charisma and witty jokes will never leave you bored. My awesome, snazzy, fabulousness will leave you speechless... or maybe just making you randomly laugh out loud. Which would be pretty awkward, because everyone would stare at you... Come now youngling, hold my hand and we will climb the stairs of High School together.

More details